Death Note Anonymous Kink Meme

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Welcome to the Death Note Anonymous Kink Meme!

How it works:

* Comment anonymously with a kinkfic request. All requests must contain a character or pairing/threesome/moresome (any combination of guys/girls/shinigami/whatever are OK, crossovers are fine too), and at least one kink. If you need inspiration, check out this huge list of kinks by eliade.

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FILL: In the Eye of the Beholder (Part 2)

[anonymous]

"What?" Matt doesn't understand where he's going with this, and goes with what he hopes is the right answer. "Oh, Mel, I forgave you for all that stuff ages ago." He tightens his grip, kisses the back of Mello's head. "I always will."

"I'm a monster," Mello says, voice savage. "Look at me, Matt. Look at me."

Make up your mind, Matt is tempted to say, but won't. "I'm looking," he says.

"Do you not see what the fire did to me?" he demands, and rolls over so abruptly that Matt is forced to let go.

"I see," Matt says, and his heart aches in his chest. Weeks of pus, and blood, and bandages. Burn creams, and painkillers, and nightmares every night of waking up to find Mello dead, or burning up in the middle of an inferno. "I know, Mello."

"It took away my last defence," Mello says. His shoulders shake briefly, then still. "It stripped off my masks and left me with the ugly truth. How can you bear to look at me, Matt? I'm... I'm hideous. All that ugliness on my skin. Outside now, as well as inside. How - I can't -"

And now his shoulders are shaking again, and they are not stopping, and hot tears are splashing across Matt's forearms, soaking the striped fabric there.

"Shh, shh," Matt murmurs, and draws him close, kisses him on the forehead. "You're not, Mello. You're still beautiful, you are -"

"That's a lie and you know it, Matt," Mello says, voice hoarse. "Look me in the eye and tell me that."

Matt hesitates, and then cups Mello's face in his hands, tilts it towards him, slightly. Mello's eyes blaze defiantly up into his.

How can Mello look at himself and not see?

"Just because you can't get laid by anyone else doesn't mean I'm not hideous," Mello spits. "Look me in the eye and tell me I'm wrong!"

How can he make Mello see?

Matt lets go of him, and slowly reaches up. Pushes off his goggles. The elastic contracts unwillingly as it slips off his head, and he drops them to the floor beside the bed. He reached behind him, and gropes blindly for the lamp. He touches the base twice, and the room glows, soft yellow, an intimate sphere protecting them from the dark.

"You're wrong, Mello," Matt says, and leans down, and kisses him on the mouth.

His lips are chapped and dry, rough from being compulsively bitten through pain and boredom and self-doubt, but they are Mello's lips, and to him, nothing else matters.

Mello does not respond as Matt kisses him, softly and repeatedly. Matt feels his warm breath exhaling slow and uneven against his face as he bends down to kiss him a little deeper.

And then Mello shoves him off him with a strength he should not still possess in the state he's in. Matt almost falls right off the bed.