Gaynor has finally finished translating Starbound, chapter 1. I successfully made a deal with her to pay half the remainder of what I would owe her, and the rest of it when I come home in a week or so. Mom already chewed me out the other day upon finding out about such an expensive translation I've commissioned for when I'm already planning to stay at Brian's, but I went on to explain what my plan overall is, citing this as a way to promote my planned Kickstarter campaign. (Speaking of which, having slept on it, I will probably host both the chapter and the campaign when Marie comes home from her own upcoming trip to Japan, so as to let her decide if she's interested once she has no more travelling expenses to manage.)
Having just started to proofread it, here are the first few main lines of the story as Gaynor wrote them:
「なんて酷い臭いなの」長くてバタースコッチ色の髪の少女が鼻を摘みながら言った。
("What a horrible smell," said a girl with long, butterscotch-colored hair, while pinching her nose shut.)
「オエェ!本当クサイよね!」長い藤色の細いツインテールの少女が答えた。彼女も、鼻を摘んでいた。
("Ugh! Does it stink or what!" replied a girl with long, lavender hair done in narrow twin ponytails. She, too, was holding her nose.)
What they say does provide a clearer idea of what they're supposed to be doing, but 摘む, if read as "tsumu", according to both Google and The Learner's Kanji Dictionary, can also translate into "pick" or "pluck". The same character combination can also be read as "tsumamu", meaning "pinch" (according to Google, which provides no other translations but only converts the romaji to hiragana) or "pick up or hold between the thumb and fingers" (according to that dictionary), but even if Yoshimizu is smart enough to picture things correctly, it would be awkward if
some blind idiot mistranslated it into any subsequent language. (Good thing the game will present this through mugshots instead.)
Well, Gaynor already advised me not to rely on a dictionary, lest anything seem unnatural, and Japanese in Mangaland does show how messily Japanese can translate at face value, when phrases like "Feel drunk!" (酔った!) and "Twice mouth take out!"(二度と口に出すな!) are meant in context to translate respectively into "Gonna puke!" and "Don't mention it again!"