Dreams
I dreamt I fixed a friendship. We compared songs that we'd written and I explained about a song called "Friends" (though in reality it is called Stay my Friend). We were soon giggling and comfortable together like we used to be.
When I woke up, in my mind I imagined writing him an email. In it I'd tell him about my dream and then I'd tell him how, back when we were friends, he had reminded me of another broken friendship, one that continues to hurt and has made me terrified of close friendships. I'd explain how I can't have a new close friendship because of how sick and nervous I feel about it. How I tried to ignore my feelings and they came out sideways which broke our friendship, and continues to plague me.
I didn't write the email though. I'm writing it down here instead.
And stuff.
When I woke up, in my mind I imagined writing him an email. In it I'd tell him about my dream and then I'd tell him how, back when we were friends, he had reminded me of another broken friendship, one that continues to hurt and has made me terrified of close friendships. I'd explain how I can't have a new close friendship because of how sick and nervous I feel about it. How I tried to ignore my feelings and they came out sideways which broke our friendship, and continues to plague me.
I didn't write the email though. I'm writing it down here instead.
And stuff.