(no subject)
Hey all, Shade here! Well, the snow is falling, kids are sticking their tongues to various metals, and the malls are more dangerous than the final stage of your favourite video game, so it MUST be Holiday time. Or rather, in my case, It's Christmas Time. Hear me clearly? CHRISTMAS. CHRIST-MAS. As in CHRIST, why are you all being such PRICKS to one another? Today's Slam comes to you courtesy of the Hellacious Holiday Howlers, the Christmas Complainers, the Demonic Spawn of Scrooge, Holiday Humbugs.
It's happened for a few years now. Stories of people offended by Manger Scenes, Santa Claus, even the very PHRASE 'Merry Christmas'. Now, I don't mean to sound bitter, but only Christmas ever seems to be under attack. I haven't heard Hanukah, Kwanzaa, or anything else shouted down, just Christmas. Now I know the Catholic Church has done a LOT of felony-stupid things in recent yea...okay, DECADES, but can ya lay off them for the ONE thing they did RIGHT? Peace on Earth, Goodwill toward Men, and the wonderful tale of the biggest fucking present in the known universe. Now, drop the catholicism, just drop it right out. Boil it down. Some dude gave enough of a shit about us to give us his son in the hopes we'd stop being assholes to each other. Fat lot of good that did, huh? Just look at the toy section at Wal-Mart, that alone is enough to make him go. "Jeez, why'd I bother?"
Then there are the embittered people pissy about it over Materialism. The Christmas spirit is dead in favour of mass consumerism. Could ya get off the soapbox please, just for a while? The guy with the Salvation Army Bell could use it for a bit. Yeah, people are a bit crazy over the gifts, but personally, I LIKE it. I like finding something cool that make's a friend's or loved one's name jump out at me. And on the flip side, when people ask me what I want? I usually don't know. I'm not good at wanting. I never want material things, I want intangibles. I wanna hear thank you more often, I want a better job or to be appreciated more at my job. I often want stuff for others. Yeah, I love to shop for people, and yeah, some people are too much into the shopping. If a Tickle Me Elmo or a Mobile Phone or an i-whatever is the only bridge between you and a merry christmas, I got a potato gun filled with coal with your name on it.
Jumping back to those who smack down people saying Merry Christmas? The only thing worse than that are the ones who smack you down for not SPECIFICALLY saying it. The people who flip at Happy Holidays. The people who act like you're denouncing Christmas by making it 'Holidays'. News flash, December isn't JUST for Catholics! There's Kwanzaa, the Winter Solstice, Hanukah, Ramadan happens a bit earlier but I still say it fits...You people are too damn uptight! Yer like the People who tried to outlaw Christmas in the 15 and 1600's. Did you know that? Hardcore Puritans in Europe Considered Feasts and Parties at Christmas to be carried-over Pagan Traditions to be stamped out, and in some REAL hardcore cases, unless Christmas was on Sunday, it was a workday. They considered the celebrations wanton and gluttonous. Well they are, but if yer a hardcore fundie, that's what confession's for, right? Eat, drink, be merry, puke, drag yourself to church, 'Forgive me father for I have sinned, I actually had a good time last night.'. Now THAT'S anal. Drop the attitude. I want you to be HAPPY, dammit! Get that yule log out of your ass, and maybe we can drain the crap from your head.
When I say Happy Holidays, I'm not killing Santa Claus in front of the kiddies, and when I say Merry Christmas, I'm not shoving religion down your throat. What I'm saying is Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Blessed Winter Solstice, Happy Kwanzaa, and all the rest. And if you're one of the overly-defensive atheists whose blood boils if anything religious comes within 50 feet of you? Have a nice fucking day, okay? What is it about Peace on Earth and Goodwill toward men that you find so damn insulting? If ya don't like it, fine, don't drag the rest of us down. Ya don't see me crapping on your pizza because I don't like mushrooms, do you? Ease off a little bit and the season won't seem so bad...plus no one will have to give you a figgy pudding enema.
Wrapping up my thoughts like a nice gift, this is Shade, saying ease up on the holidays, lest you be visited by the ghost of christmas PISSED.
It's happened for a few years now. Stories of people offended by Manger Scenes, Santa Claus, even the very PHRASE 'Merry Christmas'. Now, I don't mean to sound bitter, but only Christmas ever seems to be under attack. I haven't heard Hanukah, Kwanzaa, or anything else shouted down, just Christmas. Now I know the Catholic Church has done a LOT of felony-stupid things in recent yea...okay, DECADES, but can ya lay off them for the ONE thing they did RIGHT? Peace on Earth, Goodwill toward Men, and the wonderful tale of the biggest fucking present in the known universe. Now, drop the catholicism, just drop it right out. Boil it down. Some dude gave enough of a shit about us to give us his son in the hopes we'd stop being assholes to each other. Fat lot of good that did, huh? Just look at the toy section at Wal-Mart, that alone is enough to make him go. "Jeez, why'd I bother?"
Then there are the embittered people pissy about it over Materialism. The Christmas spirit is dead in favour of mass consumerism. Could ya get off the soapbox please, just for a while? The guy with the Salvation Army Bell could use it for a bit. Yeah, people are a bit crazy over the gifts, but personally, I LIKE it. I like finding something cool that make's a friend's or loved one's name jump out at me. And on the flip side, when people ask me what I want? I usually don't know. I'm not good at wanting. I never want material things, I want intangibles. I wanna hear thank you more often, I want a better job or to be appreciated more at my job. I often want stuff for others. Yeah, I love to shop for people, and yeah, some people are too much into the shopping. If a Tickle Me Elmo or a Mobile Phone or an i-whatever is the only bridge between you and a merry christmas, I got a potato gun filled with coal with your name on it.
Jumping back to those who smack down people saying Merry Christmas? The only thing worse than that are the ones who smack you down for not SPECIFICALLY saying it. The people who flip at Happy Holidays. The people who act like you're denouncing Christmas by making it 'Holidays'. News flash, December isn't JUST for Catholics! There's Kwanzaa, the Winter Solstice, Hanukah, Ramadan happens a bit earlier but I still say it fits...You people are too damn uptight! Yer like the People who tried to outlaw Christmas in the 15 and 1600's. Did you know that? Hardcore Puritans in Europe Considered Feasts and Parties at Christmas to be carried-over Pagan Traditions to be stamped out, and in some REAL hardcore cases, unless Christmas was on Sunday, it was a workday. They considered the celebrations wanton and gluttonous. Well they are, but if yer a hardcore fundie, that's what confession's for, right? Eat, drink, be merry, puke, drag yourself to church, 'Forgive me father for I have sinned, I actually had a good time last night.'. Now THAT'S anal. Drop the attitude. I want you to be HAPPY, dammit! Get that yule log out of your ass, and maybe we can drain the crap from your head.
When I say Happy Holidays, I'm not killing Santa Claus in front of the kiddies, and when I say Merry Christmas, I'm not shoving religion down your throat. What I'm saying is Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Blessed Winter Solstice, Happy Kwanzaa, and all the rest. And if you're one of the overly-defensive atheists whose blood boils if anything religious comes within 50 feet of you? Have a nice fucking day, okay? What is it about Peace on Earth and Goodwill toward men that you find so damn insulting? If ya don't like it, fine, don't drag the rest of us down. Ya don't see me crapping on your pizza because I don't like mushrooms, do you? Ease off a little bit and the season won't seem so bad...plus no one will have to give you a figgy pudding enema.
Wrapping up my thoughts like a nice gift, this is Shade, saying ease up on the holidays, lest you be visited by the ghost of christmas PISSED.