(no subject)
So, I had a dream last night. It felt great. I got to feel that comfort I use to feel all the time. His arms......they felt the same as they use to. They kept me safe. He looked at me the same way. His voice. He use to have a voice he only spoke to me in. I heard it. It sang to me. It told me things I missed hearing. my heart fluttered again. It's been months since it's fluttered. But it did last night. I smiled, A real one. Then I woke up. I was uncomfortable, unsafe. I heard nothing. There were no piercing blue eyes staring back at me. My heart pounded painfully. And I cryed. I'm crying now re-living it. Why does being awake hurt so much? I know why. Because I know the only way I'll feel this way again is when I'm sleeping.
I think back to the last time I held him. If I knew it was the last time, I would of held on so much tighter. I would of kept him in my arms as long as I could. I would of savored every moment while I still believed him to be the honest man I love. The one person who wasnt gonna hurt me. The only one who made me safe. Who made me love life. My best friend. That's what I really miss, my best friend. Alright, well my tears are clouding my vision, so I have to go comfort myself the only way I know how............
I think back to the last time I held him. If I knew it was the last time, I would of held on so much tighter. I would of kept him in my arms as long as I could. I would of savored every moment while I still believed him to be the honest man I love. The one person who wasnt gonna hurt me. The only one who made me safe. Who made me love life. My best friend. That's what I really miss, my best friend. Alright, well my tears are clouding my vision, so I have to go comfort myself the only way I know how............