Random Rants To Clear My Head Before Focusing on the Task at Hand (ie: my job!)
One of the things I hate the most about being single is when other non-single people blow me off for the sake of their significant other. I don't blame any of them; the significant other is always the more important choice, and I don't fault them for that. It's just I wish once in awhile I could be the more important choice.
I know, I know: I whine when I have a boyfriend and I whine when I don't. Go figure.
The reality of Wednesday's conversation and the finality of the words finally hit me on Monday night. I knew I handled things a little too well earlier.
I allowed myself to mope last night. I stayed late at work until my supervisor finally shooed me out, then spent the evening mindlessly watching moving colors on the TV screen without actually seeing anything that was going on.
I have to pull out of the mood. I have too much going on the rest of this week that requires some level of mental involvement. God, I hope I don't sabotage myself just because I'm feeling inadequate.
The book my counselor has me going through seems to be turning me into an emotional hypochondriac. So far I've decided I must have general anxiety disorder, social phobia, simple phobias, panic disorder, dysthymic disorder, cyclothymic disorder, and a major depressive episode. What fun! I'm a regular Stone Soup of disorders! At least now I can finally start putting something under the "What's Wrong With Me?" catagory, even if they are exaggerated or imaginary diagnoses. Anything is better than "I just must be a Reason".
*YAWN* I think I'm going to blame today's negative attitude on the fact that I'm tired. Although, I did manage to sleep through the night last night. And I might have the night before. I can't remember the last time I did that without the aid of medication. That's something, right?
I know, I know: I whine when I have a boyfriend and I whine when I don't. Go figure.
The reality of Wednesday's conversation and the finality of the words finally hit me on Monday night. I knew I handled things a little too well earlier.
I allowed myself to mope last night. I stayed late at work until my supervisor finally shooed me out, then spent the evening mindlessly watching moving colors on the TV screen without actually seeing anything that was going on.
I have to pull out of the mood. I have too much going on the rest of this week that requires some level of mental involvement. God, I hope I don't sabotage myself just because I'm feeling inadequate.
The book my counselor has me going through seems to be turning me into an emotional hypochondriac. So far I've decided I must have general anxiety disorder, social phobia, simple phobias, panic disorder, dysthymic disorder, cyclothymic disorder, and a major depressive episode. What fun! I'm a regular Stone Soup of disorders! At least now I can finally start putting something under the "What's Wrong With Me?" catagory, even if they are exaggerated or imaginary diagnoses. Anything is better than "I just must be a Reason".
*YAWN* I think I'm going to blame today's negative attitude on the fact that I'm tired. Although, I did manage to sleep through the night last night. And I might have the night before. I can't remember the last time I did that without the aid of medication. That's something, right?