It's All Been Done Before.....
It all seems so familiar to me.....
My first year in college, a friend of mine decided to throw a birthday party for one of his friends. He planned a big get-together and put the word out with some friends. He told them the details of the party and then asked them to spread the word. He figured the quickest way to make sure everyone would be informed was to rely on word-of-mouth.
I never got invited. Somehow, the word-of-mouth invitation went all the way around me. I heard enough to know there was a party being planned, but since the details were never shared with me, I figured I was unwelcome at the cool kids' bash. It was one of the most painful experiences I can remember.
My friend was absolutely devastated at this misconception and my subsequent no-show at the party. He felt horrible to realize that I was given the impression that I was unwanted, when in reality he was so sure that I got the information and would of course be there that it didn't occur to him to follow up with me. He relied on others to get his information to the right people, and I learned a lesson I would never forget. Because he assumed, I lost a little of my innocent trust in good intentions.
Yesterday, I watched history begin to repeat itself.....
A birthday party was planned for one of the girls in my church group for tonight. Dinner....movie....the usual Single's Friday Night. An e-mail was sent out to the in-crowd; the e-mail was forwarded to those who didn't receive the original, the second-tier cool; and a day before notice sent to the other non-loser-types.
I didn't get the e-mail. Not even the forwarded version. Or the "oops, we almost forgot you" version.
It's like college all over again.
Except this time, I'm able to slide by on the technicality that I am lucky enough to be dating one of the cool kids who can sneak me in and no one will question him. This time, while I'm not one of the cool kids who got invited, I'm at least one of the "accepted by association" kids who got remembered at the last minute.....
It still hurts, all the same.
All morning I've been trying to figure out how to change my attitude about this whole thing. I'm trying to give them the benefit of the doubt: maybe they didn't have my e-mail address; maybe since Mr. E confirmed that both of us would be there, they didn't feel it was necessary to send me the info; maybe it was just ASSUMED that since Mr. E had the information, I would naturally have it too.....
I'm having a hard time convincing myself not to take it personally. It was an accidental oversight, not a purposeful slight. Just like in college, it was a situation of everyone thought I knew, so no one bothered to tell me.
And just like college, I'm stung.
But it's not about me. It's about my friend and her birthday. So this time, instead of ducking my head and slinking off in the night to get myself into some trouble without those I thought were my friends, I'm going to swallow the hurt and attend. Maybe no one invited me, but E wants me there, so I'm going. And I'm going to make the best of it.
Do you think the church kids would appreciate it if I ordered a big margarita in celebration?
My first year in college, a friend of mine decided to throw a birthday party for one of his friends. He planned a big get-together and put the word out with some friends. He told them the details of the party and then asked them to spread the word. He figured the quickest way to make sure everyone would be informed was to rely on word-of-mouth.
I never got invited. Somehow, the word-of-mouth invitation went all the way around me. I heard enough to know there was a party being planned, but since the details were never shared with me, I figured I was unwelcome at the cool kids' bash. It was one of the most painful experiences I can remember.
My friend was absolutely devastated at this misconception and my subsequent no-show at the party. He felt horrible to realize that I was given the impression that I was unwanted, when in reality he was so sure that I got the information and would of course be there that it didn't occur to him to follow up with me. He relied on others to get his information to the right people, and I learned a lesson I would never forget. Because he assumed, I lost a little of my innocent trust in good intentions.
Yesterday, I watched history begin to repeat itself.....
A birthday party was planned for one of the girls in my church group for tonight. Dinner....movie....the usual Single's Friday Night. An e-mail was sent out to the in-crowd; the e-mail was forwarded to those who didn't receive the original, the second-tier cool; and a day before notice sent to the other non-loser-types.
I didn't get the e-mail. Not even the forwarded version. Or the "oops, we almost forgot you" version.
It's like college all over again.
Except this time, I'm able to slide by on the technicality that I am lucky enough to be dating one of the cool kids who can sneak me in and no one will question him. This time, while I'm not one of the cool kids who got invited, I'm at least one of the "accepted by association" kids who got remembered at the last minute.....
It still hurts, all the same.
All morning I've been trying to figure out how to change my attitude about this whole thing. I'm trying to give them the benefit of the doubt: maybe they didn't have my e-mail address; maybe since Mr. E confirmed that both of us would be there, they didn't feel it was necessary to send me the info; maybe it was just ASSUMED that since Mr. E had the information, I would naturally have it too.....
I'm having a hard time convincing myself not to take it personally. It was an accidental oversight, not a purposeful slight. Just like in college, it was a situation of everyone thought I knew, so no one bothered to tell me.
And just like college, I'm stung.
But it's not about me. It's about my friend and her birthday. So this time, instead of ducking my head and slinking off in the night to get myself into some trouble without those I thought were my friends, I'm going to swallow the hurt and attend. Maybe no one invited me, but E wants me there, so I'm going. And I'm going to make the best of it.
Do you think the church kids would appreciate it if I ordered a big margarita in celebration?