Jun 16, 2005 22:40
Tonight I realize that I do not have any realationship with my father at all
I'm not sure if I hate him because I really think thats to strong of an emotion for me to feel at this time
I try and try and he dosnt realize this...he dosnt see that what he says burns me u inside and boils my blood
but I yell at him too...mainly because I feel there is nothing left to save at this point
I really regret not having that pleasent father son realtionship that evrey kid desires
but I dont regret what I said and I'm will not be suprised if I cut myself off from him after college
I honestly regret the fact I have one more year to spend being treted like a preschooler and having my life picked at constantly by the always hovering hawk.
I dont know how I'm gonna continue
tonight during an altercation I opened the closet and acaully thought for a second of doing something horrible
for any outsiders please dont think that either my father or I are bad people...were just two people who dont correspond
until he changes his narrowness and inablitly to see through the clouds....we and I are not father and son but rather two strangers living in the home