Comments | dmhgficexchange: Half-Past the Point of No Return [PG-13] for Our Pinch Hitters

ferretbush_post in dmhgficexchange

Half-Past the Point of No Return [PG-13] for Our Pinch Hitters

May 17, 2011 20:34

The original recipient of this gift is no longer participating, but the author has kindly offered to dedicate their story to everyone who has pinch hit for us this round as a special thank you for their efforts.

Title: Half-Past the Point of No Return
Author: Ivory88s
Rating: PG-13
Recipient: Our Pinch Hitters
Disclaimer: Nothing recognizable is ( Read more... )

Comments 7

rzzmg May 18 2011, 03:43:20 UTC

Oh, gads, this was so depressing! My heart is beating a million kilometers a second and aching. Beautifully wrought, but so very sad! You have done an admirable job here, mystery writer.

Grammar issues abound, however. You replaced "." where "," should be in discussion areas. Fix those, and you're good.

A tragic journey, where hope is crushed. You paid fate an ironic twist here, and it was very well done.

margaritaabate May 18 2011, 09:37:54 UTC

So heartbreaking. You gave us some hope and it was dashed. A faux death. Well. He could still be alive right? Oh. Sad.

unseen1969 May 18 2011, 14:08:24 UTC

*SOB*

Oh no, I thought he was becoming redeemed! No!

Wow. Power in words, here. Well done.

strawberry_kait May 18 2011, 21:47:10 UTC

Wow. Not at all where I expected this to turn. You kept it short & sweet, but far from simple. Well done, Mystery Author!

mexicantt May 19 2011, 05:32:31 UTC

I feel like I can't really add anything that wasn't already said. This was...oh, so very sad. I didn't see that coming. I wonder what happens when she wakes only to find him dead? Or did he survive?

I want so much more because I don't want it to end like this, but this was powerful.