Chapter 13: Blocking Animal Fornication!!!
Author: alina290
Beta: dormiensa
A/N: see end of chapter
She wasn’t the smartest witch of their age for nothing. Quick and logical thinking has kept her alive longer than she could remember. Taking a deep breath after her failed Finite Incantatem, realization hit her smack on her forehead: this was not a spell, charm, or jinx but more likely a potion or combination of simple airborne ingredients. Hermione needed time to find the antidote so all would return to normal-or at least a normal that she could deal with.
If only she could just make everyone fall asleep for a day or so to have time to come up with a solution to the most visible of her dilemmas…
The animals being in heat all at the same time was not something people wanted to see when bringing their children to an amusement park. Unless they had
“You and me baby, ain’t nothin’ but mammals
So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
You and me baby, ain’t nothin’ but mammals
So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel”
by the Bloodhound Gang blaring out of the park’s speakers. And even then…
Her love of cheese had ruined that aspect of having a family-friendly environment.
“Kuso!” Hermione swore in Japanese for giving into one of her weaknesses. If only she had enough Draught of Living Death with her. Too many people and not enough time to brew it. She felt a pressure that she hadn’t felt in years. Adrenaline rushing through her system had always been her friend, though. Think Hermione!
Snape, being the heartless arse, would not be willing to assist… but wait, he shouldn’t be able to refuse her commands... Damn! The Ring is not working! How could it stop working? I am in serious shit if they’re all failing. No time to test what I’ve come up with. It needs to be done for the sake of all the Muggles, wizards, and animals here.
Not sure how to word the desired spell, the first thing that came to mind was Sleeping Beauty and the curse Maleficent cast. But no: that ended in possible death, and she would be thrown in Azkaban for sure. Besides, it would be too complicated, what with pricking fingers and thorns. Although, there were many rose bushes planted around the park to give character… Then again, this was a great way to have control over everyone, and she needed the former Death Eaters to not find out she’d lost control over them. But wait: she didn’t want to kiss them awake after she’d put everything back in order! Out of the question! Absolutely not!
Closing her eyes, she sighed: she had to Stupefy everyone. She paused a moment for regret about forgoing the Sleeping Beauty spell. Then, she took a deep breath and raised her wand arm, which had her Transfigured-into-a-bracelet wand around the wrist. She saw the words needed for this untested, modified, en masse incantation and prayed to Merlin that it would bear positive fruits. With her and Draco’s Bubble-Head Charms still in place, she began pointing her wand at all the people and animals in the Island Park and thanking the deities that all were in the same location. But just as the word “Stupefy” left her lips, a phrase popped into her head: “Not in death but just in sleep; the fateful prophecy you’ll keep. And from this slumber you shall wake when true love’s kiss the spell shall break.” Oh no! What if-? Hermione prayed she wouldn’t have to be the one to kiss them all awake.
Maybe it was the thought of not wanting to hurt anyone that resulted in her targets falling slowly and gently on the spot when the spell hit them. From the corner of her eye, she saw that Snape had taken off one of his false pegged legs and had used the wooden digit to assist her. This brought a surprised expression to her face. A little spark of delight rose in her chest at the decision she had made in making him a part of her park crew. It surprised her even more since he had originally said “No” to assisting her.
Bowing his head, Snape took a deep breath and then looked up to her with resignation. The look he sent assured her that he would assist her even if she had not said “Please”.
At least now everyone was in a deep slumber, except the two who would no doubt come up with a solution to get the animals to stop fornicating, the Death Eaters back under her control, and the Park guests to wake up without them knowing anything was amiss. The more she thought about it, the more she liked the idea of brainstorming ideas with Snape. She smiled. Then, the grin faded. He’s still a Slytherin! And he’ll want something in return. No! Forget it!
With a quick flick of her wrist, Snape, too, went down for the count. He had been looking so smug, thinking he could pull one over her. Too bad she was not in the mood to be taken advantage of. The only one who came close to doing that was her husband, and even he wouldn’t get that far.
Through the slight distortion from his Bubble-Head Charm, Hermione saw Draco look at her with admiration. He bowed slightly in deference. He sure as hell would not have done that before, but he was afraid she would renew her command to him of jumping over a cliff. He didn’t wish to die yet. For Merlin’s sake, he wanted to get her pregnant already! They had to do something about all these animals and the people. He saw the conviction in her eyes. She knew what needed to be done. He had no problem following her lead. Hang the Ministry. The magical restriction had to be broken.
To his left, Hermione was picking up Snape’s false peg leg filled with wands. She kept one and sent the rest to the special vault in her cabin that only she had access to. She gave Draco the wand and told him to arrange all the animals in a way that looked like they were only sleeping and not post-coital. Then, she magically changed Ye Old Cheese Shoppe into an antique bakery for tea and cakes, Chouquettes. It gave a warm French motif to the atmosphere around her and looked much better with the surrounding rose bushes. She really had to get rid of her cheese addiction.
Hermione woke Harry up-she didn’t mind kissing him, although she noticed Draco’s displeasure-and put him in charge of the bakery. He was competent enough to handle the clientele by himself. The tea and cakes were already at the ready. She could hire someone else to help if need be. Something still nagged at her, but she did her best to put the feeling of queasiness out of her mind. It would do her no good to dwell.
Harry saw how green Hermione’s face became, so he didn’t protest about being put in charge of the bakery. He didn’t want his brand new pirate boots to be dirtied by her vomit.
Hermione had been having a feeling that Harry was hiding something from her, and this was one of the reasons she placed him where he could not sabotage all the hard work that she had put into The Fantastic World of Make-Believe. She did mention to him that she felt there was a conspiracy around her. She felt it was better that he knew that she knew that underhanded and scheming situations were starting to threaten her livelihood. If Harry was one of the conspirators, there would be a lot of balls-breaking.
With a quick flick of her wrist, she reinstated the Master Ring’s power to ensure One Ring to rule them all. That sounded so good. The One Ring to rule them all. Tolkien must have been a wizard. It was comforting that he had never been named in any History of Magic class.
Waking up all the Death Eaters was a snap after that. When they saw that Snape’s false peg leg was gone, there was a collective sigh of disappointment. A lecture was to be endured no matter what. They didn’t notice that Snape was still lying on the ground, soundly asleep in the foetal position.
Once Draco was back at her side, she called them all to order and gave them instructions to assist all the wizards and Muggles once she woke them up.
References:
The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien
Disney’s Sleeping Beauty
Song “Bad Touch”, better known as “The Discovery Channel”, by The Bloodhound Gang
To be continued…
Continue or ToC
Beta: dormiensa
A/N: see end of chapter
She wasn’t the smartest witch of their age for nothing. Quick and logical thinking has kept her alive longer than she could remember. Taking a deep breath after her failed Finite Incantatem, realization hit her smack on her forehead: this was not a spell, charm, or jinx but more likely a potion or combination of simple airborne ingredients. Hermione needed time to find the antidote so all would return to normal-or at least a normal that she could deal with.
If only she could just make everyone fall asleep for a day or so to have time to come up with a solution to the most visible of her dilemmas…
The animals being in heat all at the same time was not something people wanted to see when bringing their children to an amusement park. Unless they had
“You and me baby, ain’t nothin’ but mammals
So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
You and me baby, ain’t nothin’ but mammals
So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel”
by the Bloodhound Gang blaring out of the park’s speakers. And even then…
Her love of cheese had ruined that aspect of having a family-friendly environment.
“Kuso!” Hermione swore in Japanese for giving into one of her weaknesses. If only she had enough Draught of Living Death with her. Too many people and not enough time to brew it. She felt a pressure that she hadn’t felt in years. Adrenaline rushing through her system had always been her friend, though. Think Hermione!
Snape, being the heartless arse, would not be willing to assist… but wait, he shouldn’t be able to refuse her commands... Damn! The Ring is not working! How could it stop working? I am in serious shit if they’re all failing. No time to test what I’ve come up with. It needs to be done for the sake of all the Muggles, wizards, and animals here.
Not sure how to word the desired spell, the first thing that came to mind was Sleeping Beauty and the curse Maleficent cast. But no: that ended in possible death, and she would be thrown in Azkaban for sure. Besides, it would be too complicated, what with pricking fingers and thorns. Although, there were many rose bushes planted around the park to give character… Then again, this was a great way to have control over everyone, and she needed the former Death Eaters to not find out she’d lost control over them. But wait: she didn’t want to kiss them awake after she’d put everything back in order! Out of the question! Absolutely not!
Closing her eyes, she sighed: she had to Stupefy everyone. She paused a moment for regret about forgoing the Sleeping Beauty spell. Then, she took a deep breath and raised her wand arm, which had her Transfigured-into-a-bracelet wand around the wrist. She saw the words needed for this untested, modified, en masse incantation and prayed to Merlin that it would bear positive fruits. With her and Draco’s Bubble-Head Charms still in place, she began pointing her wand at all the people and animals in the Island Park and thanking the deities that all were in the same location. But just as the word “Stupefy” left her lips, a phrase popped into her head: “Not in death but just in sleep; the fateful prophecy you’ll keep. And from this slumber you shall wake when true love’s kiss the spell shall break.” Oh no! What if-? Hermione prayed she wouldn’t have to be the one to kiss them all awake.
Maybe it was the thought of not wanting to hurt anyone that resulted in her targets falling slowly and gently on the spot when the spell hit them. From the corner of her eye, she saw that Snape had taken off one of his false pegged legs and had used the wooden digit to assist her. This brought a surprised expression to her face. A little spark of delight rose in her chest at the decision she had made in making him a part of her park crew. It surprised her even more since he had originally said “No” to assisting her.
Bowing his head, Snape took a deep breath and then looked up to her with resignation. The look he sent assured her that he would assist her even if she had not said “Please”.
At least now everyone was in a deep slumber, except the two who would no doubt come up with a solution to get the animals to stop fornicating, the Death Eaters back under her control, and the Park guests to wake up without them knowing anything was amiss. The more she thought about it, the more she liked the idea of brainstorming ideas with Snape. She smiled. Then, the grin faded. He’s still a Slytherin! And he’ll want something in return. No! Forget it!
With a quick flick of her wrist, Snape, too, went down for the count. He had been looking so smug, thinking he could pull one over her. Too bad she was not in the mood to be taken advantage of. The only one who came close to doing that was her husband, and even he wouldn’t get that far.
Through the slight distortion from his Bubble-Head Charm, Hermione saw Draco look at her with admiration. He bowed slightly in deference. He sure as hell would not have done that before, but he was afraid she would renew her command to him of jumping over a cliff. He didn’t wish to die yet. For Merlin’s sake, he wanted to get her pregnant already! They had to do something about all these animals and the people. He saw the conviction in her eyes. She knew what needed to be done. He had no problem following her lead. Hang the Ministry. The magical restriction had to be broken.
To his left, Hermione was picking up Snape’s false peg leg filled with wands. She kept one and sent the rest to the special vault in her cabin that only she had access to. She gave Draco the wand and told him to arrange all the animals in a way that looked like they were only sleeping and not post-coital. Then, she magically changed Ye Old Cheese Shoppe into an antique bakery for tea and cakes, Chouquettes. It gave a warm French motif to the atmosphere around her and looked much better with the surrounding rose bushes. She really had to get rid of her cheese addiction.
Hermione woke Harry up-she didn’t mind kissing him, although she noticed Draco’s displeasure-and put him in charge of the bakery. He was competent enough to handle the clientele by himself. The tea and cakes were already at the ready. She could hire someone else to help if need be. Something still nagged at her, but she did her best to put the feeling of queasiness out of her mind. It would do her no good to dwell.
Harry saw how green Hermione’s face became, so he didn’t protest about being put in charge of the bakery. He didn’t want his brand new pirate boots to be dirtied by her vomit.
Hermione had been having a feeling that Harry was hiding something from her, and this was one of the reasons she placed him where he could not sabotage all the hard work that she had put into The Fantastic World of Make-Believe. She did mention to him that she felt there was a conspiracy around her. She felt it was better that he knew that she knew that underhanded and scheming situations were starting to threaten her livelihood. If Harry was one of the conspirators, there would be a lot of balls-breaking.
With a quick flick of her wrist, she reinstated the Master Ring’s power to ensure One Ring to rule them all. That sounded so good. The One Ring to rule them all. Tolkien must have been a wizard. It was comforting that he had never been named in any History of Magic class.
Waking up all the Death Eaters was a snap after that. When they saw that Snape’s false peg leg was gone, there was a collective sigh of disappointment. A lecture was to be endured no matter what. They didn’t notice that Snape was still lying on the ground, soundly asleep in the foetal position.
Once Draco was back at her side, she called them all to order and gave them instructions to assist all the wizards and Muggles once she woke them up.
References:
The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien
Disney’s Sleeping Beauty
Song “Bad Touch”, better known as “The Discovery Channel”, by The Bloodhound Gang
To be continued…
Continue or ToC