"Time may change me, but I can't change time"
The summer is going by way too fast. I can't believe it is almost August. I'm excited fro senior year because I know it is going to be crazy, but I am also dreading it because I know that once it starts I can't stop it and it is going to fly.
Kind of a depressing week, after I came to the realization that this is the first time in 5 years that I have not spent the last week of July in the SHS auditorium rehearsing for Youth CONNection. As much as this summer has been great, I really miss doing YC and I bet this summer would have been fun considering some of the people that did the show. Last year was hard because I really didn't feel close to the cast but it figures that the summer I am in Boston is the summer where a lot of people I know/are friends with are in the show. I've come to the conclusion that last year cannot have been my last YC show. Hopefully I can do it next summer before I start my real job (whatever and wherever that will be), because right now being away from it is killing me.
Next weekend I'm going back to Shelton for a much needed visit, to see the show and my home friends and go to the diner and go in the pool and go shopping and get a haircut. And it will be the first trip that begins the process of moving me out of my apartment. Now, I know that my feeling on the apartment sophomore year and even last summer were not good. The whole idea of living off-campus scared me and sent me into some really big anxiety attacks. And then ironically when we all came back to school and moved into our respective dorms/apartments, I was the most well-adjusted. This year has been really good for me. It was a growing experience. I mean, yes I really hated walking in the snow, and yes I realyl hated walking home int he dark and crossing the street after my accident, and yes it was a pain int he ass to have to wake up extra early (especially for 8:30 am classes) because I had to plan for walking time, and YES it sucked to be stuck on-campus all day some days. And I think most of all, yes it was really hard to be away from my friends and learn some tough lessons about who is really there for me and who isn't. But I am honestly really sad at the thought of leaving this place. Despite the ant problems, the recent robbery of the upstairs apartment, the loud parties, the bathroom ceiling leaking, the lack of a dishwasher....okay, I'll stop. But really. It is hard for me to ever leave someplace that I have lived at BC and imagine not living there anymore. It was hard to imagine not living in Kostka after freshman year. It was REALLY hard to imagine not living in Vandy 213! But this is different...this apartment wasn't a dorm; it was like my house, my home. It gave me some distance from the BC bubble when I needed it, I learned how to cook for myself here, it was the first time I had real groceries. I have my own room. It is very real, and going back to a dorm is going to be an adjustment. I've spent more time here than I have ever spent in a dorm. I lived here all summer, the time that I usually spend at home, and living here has been far different than living in a random room on-campus for the summer. I guess I've just gotten too comfortable here. So now I need to start cleaning, empty drawers and shelves so my dad can take some furniture back home with him when he drives me back up next Sunday. So I think I'm just going to take one last look around so I can remember what this room looks like when it is messy, living in, fully furnished, still home.
Kind of a depressing week, after I came to the realization that this is the first time in 5 years that I have not spent the last week of July in the SHS auditorium rehearsing for Youth CONNection. As much as this summer has been great, I really miss doing YC and I bet this summer would have been fun considering some of the people that did the show. Last year was hard because I really didn't feel close to the cast but it figures that the summer I am in Boston is the summer where a lot of people I know/are friends with are in the show. I've come to the conclusion that last year cannot have been my last YC show. Hopefully I can do it next summer before I start my real job (whatever and wherever that will be), because right now being away from it is killing me.
Next weekend I'm going back to Shelton for a much needed visit, to see the show and my home friends and go to the diner and go in the pool and go shopping and get a haircut. And it will be the first trip that begins the process of moving me out of my apartment. Now, I know that my feeling on the apartment sophomore year and even last summer were not good. The whole idea of living off-campus scared me and sent me into some really big anxiety attacks. And then ironically when we all came back to school and moved into our respective dorms/apartments, I was the most well-adjusted. This year has been really good for me. It was a growing experience. I mean, yes I really hated walking in the snow, and yes I realyl hated walking home int he dark and crossing the street after my accident, and yes it was a pain int he ass to have to wake up extra early (especially for 8:30 am classes) because I had to plan for walking time, and YES it sucked to be stuck on-campus all day some days. And I think most of all, yes it was really hard to be away from my friends and learn some tough lessons about who is really there for me and who isn't. But I am honestly really sad at the thought of leaving this place. Despite the ant problems, the recent robbery of the upstairs apartment, the loud parties, the bathroom ceiling leaking, the lack of a dishwasher....okay, I'll stop. But really. It is hard for me to ever leave someplace that I have lived at BC and imagine not living there anymore. It was hard to imagine not living in Kostka after freshman year. It was REALLY hard to imagine not living in Vandy 213! But this is different...this apartment wasn't a dorm; it was like my house, my home. It gave me some distance from the BC bubble when I needed it, I learned how to cook for myself here, it was the first time I had real groceries. I have my own room. It is very real, and going back to a dorm is going to be an adjustment. I've spent more time here than I have ever spent in a dorm. I lived here all summer, the time that I usually spend at home, and living here has been far different than living in a random room on-campus for the summer. I guess I've just gotten too comfortable here. So now I need to start cleaning, empty drawers and shelves so my dad can take some furniture back home with him when he drives me back up next Sunday. So I think I'm just going to take one last look around so I can remember what this room looks like when it is messy, living in, fully furnished, still home.