(no subject)
I really need to update. I don't know why, I just feel like I need to put this in writing, but at the same time...I can't do it. It makes it so...real. But (excuse my language) fuck it. I'm going to do it.
I did the right thing. I had to cut my ties. I just wish it didn't have to hurt this much. I really wanted to be lifelong friends with him. I just can't, with so many people in his life who don't think well of me, and even some that hate me and think I would do such awful things to him. Especially if he won't defend me. I mean, he shouldn't have to. He shouldn't have to make that choice to believe me or his family. So...I'm out completely now. I'm severing all ties. Tahnking them all one last time, saying goodbye. I loved them all, but it's time. Time to let go. I have to, for both his sake and my own.
And you, whoever has been looking at my facebook, lj, myspace and trying to use it against me...whatever. I hope you're reading this, and I hope you know that you don't know who I am at all. And I wnat you to know that I'm not "fucking with your family." In fact, I've done a lot more for your family than you will ever know, and have even done some for you yourself. I don't hate you. I can't hate you, nor will I allow myself to. I just want you to know that you don't know me, and you're wrong about me. You don't even know the full story, so you shouldn't have gotten involved in the first place. You're trying to protect him, but you ultimately took me away from him, which isn't really protecting him, since i've been his best friend for nearly two years now and I know him better than almost anyone in his life. I cared about him more than anyhitng, and still would have been there for him, until now. Until you. I hope you still think that you were/are doing the right thing.
Letting go hurts, but I suppose sometimes you have to. It's just the way it is.
I'm worth the fight, and I shouldn't have to settle for anything less.
"Everyone I know goes away in the end..."
I did the right thing. I had to cut my ties. I just wish it didn't have to hurt this much. I really wanted to be lifelong friends with him. I just can't, with so many people in his life who don't think well of me, and even some that hate me and think I would do such awful things to him. Especially if he won't defend me. I mean, he shouldn't have to. He shouldn't have to make that choice to believe me or his family. So...I'm out completely now. I'm severing all ties. Tahnking them all one last time, saying goodbye. I loved them all, but it's time. Time to let go. I have to, for both his sake and my own.
And you, whoever has been looking at my facebook, lj, myspace and trying to use it against me...whatever. I hope you're reading this, and I hope you know that you don't know who I am at all. And I wnat you to know that I'm not "fucking with your family." In fact, I've done a lot more for your family than you will ever know, and have even done some for you yourself. I don't hate you. I can't hate you, nor will I allow myself to. I just want you to know that you don't know me, and you're wrong about me. You don't even know the full story, so you shouldn't have gotten involved in the first place. You're trying to protect him, but you ultimately took me away from him, which isn't really protecting him, since i've been his best friend for nearly two years now and I know him better than almost anyone in his life. I cared about him more than anyhitng, and still would have been there for him, until now. Until you. I hope you still think that you were/are doing the right thing.
Letting go hurts, but I suppose sometimes you have to. It's just the way it is.
I'm worth the fight, and I shouldn't have to settle for anything less.
"Everyone I know goes away in the end..."