(no subject)
backandforthandbackandforthandbackandforth
and its a different season every time and someone new is gone and something familiar lost forever. (i drove by my high school again last night in the fog and the wind and stopped at the stadium for a long time. i remember days of moms in mini vans and holding hands in hallways. sometimes i think i remember innocence.)
i'm drinking tea and reading books and sleeping a lot. i am not taking any pills at the moment, but that's mostly because i keep forgetting. i am less of an alcoholic than i feared i was. i have gained weight. sometimes i consider crying to see what it feels like sober, but i decide not to because my eyes will turn red. i find the fact that i decide whether or not to cry somewhat sick, and the reason why i do not marginally worse.
and its a different season every time and someone new is gone and something familiar lost forever. (i drove by my high school again last night in the fog and the wind and stopped at the stadium for a long time. i remember days of moms in mini vans and holding hands in hallways. sometimes i think i remember innocence.)
i'm drinking tea and reading books and sleeping a lot. i am not taking any pills at the moment, but that's mostly because i keep forgetting. i am less of an alcoholic than i feared i was. i have gained weight. sometimes i consider crying to see what it feels like sober, but i decide not to because my eyes will turn red. i find the fact that i decide whether or not to cry somewhat sick, and the reason why i do not marginally worse.