Nov 28, 2005 09:08
Since my last entry. It seems kind of foolish to write a fantastically long post about what I've been doing since. Especially since nothing happened in the past 3 months that I really feel like discussing. High points? Um, I celebrated my first ever anniversary. Except I was in Staten Island and he was in Buffalo, because my grandmother now has brain cancer and I had to go home and see her. But hey, it still happened.
Now, its after Thanksgiving, the Christmas season has already started and usually at this point I'm bubbling with Christmas cheer, because hey, everyone loves Christmas. However, I don't really feel too cheery, and I can't really soak up cheer around me because no one else is particularly bouncy or happy. We didn't even get our Christmas tree on Saturday- something we've been doing every single year on the same day since I was 9 years old. Everything's changing, nothing can stay the same anymore. We didn't go because my parents best friends (and their kids) who usually come with us are now divorced after 30 years of marriage. We couldn't go because someone has to be at the nursing home helping my grandmother eat, and I wish it didn't have to be me because sometimes I can't stand looking at a woman who can't recognize me.
I can't really go out and party like I used to, because since grams has been sick, I've had to make so many trips home that I missed a ton of work. I can't go out because I spend most of my money communting to Rochester 2 days a week doing a job I hate and not getting paid for it. I can't go out because let's face it, I'm not much company right now. Everything is changing, I don't know whats going on. 11 girls living in one house is definitely fun sometimes, but how can you have a house of 11 people and not step on each others toes and piss each other off?
There are some good things. My bed, for one. I was so perfectly comfortable this morning under my blanket with Humphrey Bogart (stuffed llama), with my oodles of pillows and nothing at all to think about. Except "no, I don't wanna get up," of course. And once this week is over, at least two of my 3 obligations will be taken care of. And I'm going home in a little less than 3 weeks. But does that really comfort me anymore? I don't know.
I'm probably going to get paged in a few minutes to write this person's petition. And its probably not going to have a smidgeon of a family offense and my unpaid time will have been wasted, while I could have been working on my research paper. Though, I suppose I could have been working on it while I'm writing this. But I type fast.