yeah so uh....
i got another tattoo. That makes... like 9 or 10. I think i'll do/get another one next week but I'm not too sure.
alright.
have you ever missed something you knew you could never have?
Its hard to cover what you feel when you're so used to just wearing your feelings like they are untouchable because they are so strong. She tucked me away in this little safe place in her mind and heart and manages to tell me now after all that I have felt and hidden from her and other epople that this little secret place exists.
Its weird to realize it but I fell for this girl. I fell for her when I met her and now I am kicking myself in the ass because that little hiding place she is keeping me isnt going to be able to keep me for much longer. I have this feeling like all hell is going to break loose.
For some reason, I know that I still feel for her, and I still miss her, but its like I know that I have already taken the steps to move on but I just cant. I'm a little stuck between worlds right now just because of some of the things she has said. Nothing's permanent. I guess I just have to relax and love what I'm doing right now for what it is. I cant expect anything from anyone.
I just kinda want to settle down and not worry about things anymore. James, if you read this, which i doubt you will... I love you, you're the greatest. And Carissa, I miss you so much and wish things had turned out differently, but remember, I always told you: NEVER REGRET. life is too short for regrets, we are too young to worry about what happened yesterday, we just get to fuck up tomorrow and not think about that either. I guess I'm not being complete with either one of you: James; you're a major part of my life right now, getting back on my feet is hard to do and you are helping me, you're not just my girlfriend, but also one of my best friends, you're there for me and I could never ask for more. I dont deserve the love you show for me. But you need to know, I fell in love with Carissa a little while back and I'm not necissarilly ashamed of it, just a little stuck on it. Her and I left things EXTREMELY unresolved and it all still hurts a lot. I said that you are helping me get back up on my feet, bcause she cut them out from underneath me. I fell for her and it hurts me everyday to think about it. I'm just writing this now because its been on my mind. Its bothering me...
xx
alright.
have you ever missed something you knew you could never have?
Its hard to cover what you feel when you're so used to just wearing your feelings like they are untouchable because they are so strong. She tucked me away in this little safe place in her mind and heart and manages to tell me now after all that I have felt and hidden from her and other epople that this little secret place exists.
Its weird to realize it but I fell for this girl. I fell for her when I met her and now I am kicking myself in the ass because that little hiding place she is keeping me isnt going to be able to keep me for much longer. I have this feeling like all hell is going to break loose.
For some reason, I know that I still feel for her, and I still miss her, but its like I know that I have already taken the steps to move on but I just cant. I'm a little stuck between worlds right now just because of some of the things she has said. Nothing's permanent. I guess I just have to relax and love what I'm doing right now for what it is. I cant expect anything from anyone.
I just kinda want to settle down and not worry about things anymore. James, if you read this, which i doubt you will... I love you, you're the greatest. And Carissa, I miss you so much and wish things had turned out differently, but remember, I always told you: NEVER REGRET. life is too short for regrets, we are too young to worry about what happened yesterday, we just get to fuck up tomorrow and not think about that either. I guess I'm not being complete with either one of you: James; you're a major part of my life right now, getting back on my feet is hard to do and you are helping me, you're not just my girlfriend, but also one of my best friends, you're there for me and I could never ask for more. I dont deserve the love you show for me. But you need to know, I fell in love with Carissa a little while back and I'm not necissarilly ashamed of it, just a little stuck on it. Her and I left things EXTREMELY unresolved and it all still hurts a lot. I said that you are helping me get back up on my feet, bcause she cut them out from underneath me. I fell for her and it hurts me everyday to think about it. I'm just writing this now because its been on my mind. Its bothering me...
xx