(no subject)
So I snuck down to Atlanta on Saturday for Father's Day with Jamie, Jessika, and Patrick. It was fun, honestly, but sad. Very sad.
I almost felt guilty because my brother and sister, my dad's children, came over and they would sit by him and like... pet him and sing to him and stuff... and I can barely look at him. They would stay by him for hours. At one point Beth rolled the wheelchair up next to me, and dad just basically fell asleep but I was beside myself uncomfortable. And I felt so guilty for it.
I felt bad for Patrick too. Being a strong guy, he had to help mom walk my dad into the shower and the bathroom and stuff. I apologized and he said it didn't matter but still. I mean, it wasn't what he signed up for.
I dunno. It was a good thing to do but its still unsettling.
And on a lighter note, driving back at night, even if you slept in the car, is sucky when you have to get up early the next morning. I'm very tired.
And... can't get some stuff out of my head. My mind really wont leave me alone, like ever.
I almost felt guilty because my brother and sister, my dad's children, came over and they would sit by him and like... pet him and sing to him and stuff... and I can barely look at him. They would stay by him for hours. At one point Beth rolled the wheelchair up next to me, and dad just basically fell asleep but I was beside myself uncomfortable. And I felt so guilty for it.
I felt bad for Patrick too. Being a strong guy, he had to help mom walk my dad into the shower and the bathroom and stuff. I apologized and he said it didn't matter but still. I mean, it wasn't what he signed up for.
I dunno. It was a good thing to do but its still unsettling.
And on a lighter note, driving back at night, even if you slept in the car, is sucky when you have to get up early the next morning. I'm very tired.
And... can't get some stuff out of my head. My mind really wont leave me alone, like ever.