Dependence and head games
I've been meaning to write this down for days now, but never got around to it. Bleh. Anyways. School is here, obviously and is not showing any signs of going away. *sigh* woe is me. Partly the reason for this delayed entry.
Since the India trip and back, I feel like I'm learning a lot of things about life. Though I'd always thought that I had grown up a lot in high school, it obviously isn't enough. I have to say that none of these realizations are bad, just slightly insightful - to me at least. Preparing me for the - I believe that the word is 'Real World' (though I never go that. Am I living in a transcended reality??) and sometimes I feel UNBELIEVABLY NAIVE that I didn't know this before.
1. Independence: Or rather dependence, in my case. I realized that I have always - and I do mean ALWAYS - allowed other to have a lot of influence over my decisions. They may be simple things, like class scheduling or perhaps more important things. BAD. Because while there are a few out there who wish to genuinely help you with your decisions, the majority basically look out for themselves. It makes me realize how shallow the world is. Really. And when I find that the words of the people that I admire and respect, are just a means of manipulation, I just get pissed off. For example, I never would have ended up in the scheduling mess with my classes if I had just listened to myself and done what I wanted. This is not to say that we should not take advice. Just always take that advice with a grain of salt.
And along with that, comes the topic of doing things you want to do for yourself. I've always shied away from things that I want to do, but didn't because there was no one to come along with me. Seriously, I feel dumb now. What am I, 5? -_-;; I embarrass myself. THERE IS NO HAND HOLDING IN LIFE. If I want to try things, then I need to get out there and do it. I can't keep waiting around for someone else with a similar interest. That may or may not happen. I just need to get up the guts to do it.
However, no confusing this with support. I know that I'll always have the support of my trio (you know who you are) and others. Yeah, they're all spread apart and all over the world, but hey, they've got my back. So what's the worst that could happen? I embarrass myself? Been there, done that.
and 2. Just something that I've had personal experience with. Sometimes, we need to look out for our best interests. I realize that I spend too much time worrying about whether or not I've offended someone because of something I said or denied due to a personal conflict. I need to GET OVER MYSELF. If something is going to affect me negatively or affect my health, I'm going to say no regardless of whether or not I offend people. Yes, there is something called TACT which I am willing to employ. But I need start putting myself ahead of others who honestly play no role in my life.
And lastly, something funny and embarrassing for me (yes, this has been a day for embarrassment) 3. If you feel horrible AND you look disgusting, you might as well go hide in a hole. There is nothing worse that feeling bad AND looking bad. It brings you to new heights of depression, believe me. So if you just pulled an all nighter for two midterms and skipped meals and have a massive headache, do not go out with the disgusting hair, slept-in shirt and sweats. At the very least, pull on a pair of jeans, a sweatshirt and pull back the hair. Trust me. There is a massive difference.
Whew, dumpage over. Motto for the day: HAKUNA MATATA! :)
love, love, love to all...
Since the India trip and back, I feel like I'm learning a lot of things about life. Though I'd always thought that I had grown up a lot in high school, it obviously isn't enough. I have to say that none of these realizations are bad, just slightly insightful - to me at least. Preparing me for the - I believe that the word is 'Real World' (though I never go that. Am I living in a transcended reality??) and sometimes I feel UNBELIEVABLY NAIVE that I didn't know this before.
1. Independence: Or rather dependence, in my case. I realized that I have always - and I do mean ALWAYS - allowed other to have a lot of influence over my decisions. They may be simple things, like class scheduling or perhaps more important things. BAD. Because while there are a few out there who wish to genuinely help you with your decisions, the majority basically look out for themselves. It makes me realize how shallow the world is. Really. And when I find that the words of the people that I admire and respect, are just a means of manipulation, I just get pissed off. For example, I never would have ended up in the scheduling mess with my classes if I had just listened to myself and done what I wanted. This is not to say that we should not take advice. Just always take that advice with a grain of salt.
And along with that, comes the topic of doing things you want to do for yourself. I've always shied away from things that I want to do, but didn't because there was no one to come along with me. Seriously, I feel dumb now. What am I, 5? -_-;; I embarrass myself. THERE IS NO HAND HOLDING IN LIFE. If I want to try things, then I need to get out there and do it. I can't keep waiting around for someone else with a similar interest. That may or may not happen. I just need to get up the guts to do it.
However, no confusing this with support. I know that I'll always have the support of my trio (you know who you are) and others. Yeah, they're all spread apart and all over the world, but hey, they've got my back. So what's the worst that could happen? I embarrass myself? Been there, done that.
and 2. Just something that I've had personal experience with. Sometimes, we need to look out for our best interests. I realize that I spend too much time worrying about whether or not I've offended someone because of something I said or denied due to a personal conflict. I need to GET OVER MYSELF. If something is going to affect me negatively or affect my health, I'm going to say no regardless of whether or not I offend people. Yes, there is something called TACT which I am willing to employ. But I need start putting myself ahead of others who honestly play no role in my life.
And lastly, something funny and embarrassing for me (yes, this has been a day for embarrassment) 3. If you feel horrible AND you look disgusting, you might as well go hide in a hole. There is nothing worse that feeling bad AND looking bad. It brings you to new heights of depression, believe me. So if you just pulled an all nighter for two midterms and skipped meals and have a massive headache, do not go out with the disgusting hair, slept-in shirt and sweats. At the very least, pull on a pair of jeans, a sweatshirt and pull back the hair. Trust me. There is a massive difference.
Whew, dumpage over. Motto for the day: HAKUNA MATATA! :)
love, love, love to all...