(no subject)
The real problem is the lack of hope, the despair.
It kind of sneaks up on me when I'm being stupid and feeling sorry for myself.
I had all these plans for what I was going to do, and I haven't really done any of them (and I'm afraid that I might not do them, and I'm not sure what that means).
It's stupid too. I sometimes catch myself feeling hopeless because I'm extrapolating recent events (days, weeks, months) in which things don't happen onto the rest of my life. I know that that cannot be accurate, because the events that I want to have happen aren't really recurring things (more like once-in-a-life things), and so there's no way to really use what _has_ been happening to determine what _will_ (or might) happen.
My ego wants someone to be physically attracted to me.
What I really want, though, is for someone to want to spend the rest of their life getting to know me better. (I suppose most people want that.)
I wanted to have some real life talk to people time tonight, but I guess that that is not to be.
Oh well.
(I just re-read this, and it sounds a lot more depressing than I intended, but I'm not going to re-write it. :) )
It kind of sneaks up on me when I'm being stupid and feeling sorry for myself.
I had all these plans for what I was going to do, and I haven't really done any of them (and I'm afraid that I might not do them, and I'm not sure what that means).
It's stupid too. I sometimes catch myself feeling hopeless because I'm extrapolating recent events (days, weeks, months) in which things don't happen onto the rest of my life. I know that that cannot be accurate, because the events that I want to have happen aren't really recurring things (more like once-in-a-life things), and so there's no way to really use what _has_ been happening to determine what _will_ (or might) happen.
My ego wants someone to be physically attracted to me.
What I really want, though, is for someone to want to spend the rest of their life getting to know me better. (I suppose most people want that.)
I wanted to have some real life talk to people time tonight, but I guess that that is not to be.
Oh well.
(I just re-read this, and it sounds a lot more depressing than I intended, but I'm not going to re-write it. :) )