(no subject)
Sometimes there is this hole inside of me and no matter what I do, nothing I try will fill it. And I feel crowded in with it and overwhelmed, is it possible to feel crowded and lonley at the same time? I do. I'm missing something, and I don't know what it is, or how to find it. sometimes I wonder if Ill always go through my life feeling like Im missing out on everything. I feel traped, and that is the one feeling I fled columbiaville to be free from. It seems like no matter where I go or what I do or what type of guy I seek out ect, ect, NO MATTER WHAT the walls start to close in eventually and I just need to break free. but I still don't know why. I have this need to feel free, this urge to do anything that makes me feel alive. Why do I feel dead inside? Shouldn't I feel alive? I AM living, so why don't I feel as though I am? I keep having flashes of memories of moments where I felt myself, and I miss those few precious moments. Whats wrong with me that I feel this way?