lonely.........
Worked again today, it wasn't too bad, pretty easy, and I was there for a good four hours, hopefully Ill get more in tommorrow. I hope this whole money situation looks up pretty soon, cause I already hate this time of year and it will suck if I go through it again with NO money, at least last year I had SOME, not a whole lot but a little. Then again last year this time depressed me so much cause I couldn't come home, well now Im home but if I can't do anything it won't be a whole lot better.
Ran into Megan and Amy at the game last night. Amy said something bout Krystal moving to Flint?? holy cow, nobody told me. Its not like its far away or anything, but still its like shes trying to ditch all her old friends and that kinda hurts. Not like Im gonna pretend that things were peachy keen b4 this, cause they weren't. For awhile there we were pretty close but ever since the whole John thing she avoided me like crazy. What can ya do? if people don't want to put effort into a friendship I guess there isn't much use pretending that theres one there. It's just hard cause it seems like I have no one around this area anymore besides Erica, don't get me wrong gurl I love ya! but I can't rely on one person to hang out and be around all the time, shes got a life too. Not to mention I miss everybody else too. I just don't understand what it is about me that is so ... I dunno .. what turns people away? like, why is it I tell people "hey gimme a call sometime" when I run into them and they sound like its a good idea but then they just never do? AM I that repulsive? do they just pretend to like me so as not to hurt my feelings? if thats the case I wish no one would, cause Id rather know the truth. like for example I ran into Angie and Nikki at the game the other night, and they were nice and smiled and said HI and all that, but I can't help but feel awkward cause I just never know with them, like should I stay and try to converse? or is a polite hello in aorder and then they just want me to leave them alone?
Its so hard to tell anymore, I miss having more than just one genuine friend around to hang out with anymore. Lisa is so far away, and so is celia. and other than them and erica I just dont feel welcome to call up anyone else. Like if I do Im just gonna get the big rejection. blah.....
Ran into Megan and Amy at the game last night. Amy said something bout Krystal moving to Flint?? holy cow, nobody told me. Its not like its far away or anything, but still its like shes trying to ditch all her old friends and that kinda hurts. Not like Im gonna pretend that things were peachy keen b4 this, cause they weren't. For awhile there we were pretty close but ever since the whole John thing she avoided me like crazy. What can ya do? if people don't want to put effort into a friendship I guess there isn't much use pretending that theres one there. It's just hard cause it seems like I have no one around this area anymore besides Erica, don't get me wrong gurl I love ya! but I can't rely on one person to hang out and be around all the time, shes got a life too. Not to mention I miss everybody else too. I just don't understand what it is about me that is so ... I dunno .. what turns people away? like, why is it I tell people "hey gimme a call sometime" when I run into them and they sound like its a good idea but then they just never do? AM I that repulsive? do they just pretend to like me so as not to hurt my feelings? if thats the case I wish no one would, cause Id rather know the truth. like for example I ran into Angie and Nikki at the game the other night, and they were nice and smiled and said HI and all that, but I can't help but feel awkward cause I just never know with them, like should I stay and try to converse? or is a polite hello in aorder and then they just want me to leave them alone?
Its so hard to tell anymore, I miss having more than just one genuine friend around to hang out with anymore. Lisa is so far away, and so is celia. and other than them and erica I just dont feel welcome to call up anyone else. Like if I do Im just gonna get the big rejection. blah.....