I like kids, but this is hilarious
"I cannot stand goddamn kids so if this was supposed to be heart warming it failed on every level. Do you have any idea how much of MY life is regulated because of stupid goddamn kids that I don’t have? From back windows I can't roll down to lighters I can't light to medicine caps I can't open to that insufferable beeping that you can hear in the next state every time a delivery truck goes backwards. No tits on TV. Why? Kids. "Let's regulate the internet and set up a rating system!" Why? Kids. There are stickers all over my new cars sun visor. Do you know why? That's right. Kids. I DON’T HAVE FUCKING KIDS, AND I'M NOT HERE TO HELP RAISE THE ONES OTHER PEOPLE HAVE. I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR STUPID FUCKING KIDS PEOPLE!
Do you have any idea how many taxes I pay for after school programs and school breakfast programs and juvenile facilities, all for kids I don’t fucking have, all because some other dipshit had a kid and they’re either too dumb or too poor to raise them. WHY IS THIS ON ME NOW? I DON’T WANNA PAY FOR YOUR STUPID FUCKING KIDS! YOU HAD THEM, YOU RAISE THEM! How many crimes are committed by kids under 16? I m willing to guess it's 98 percent. Who is it kicking off my side mirrors at night and fueling the meth industry? Is it old Asian men, or is it 15-year-old idiots? STOP HAVING KIDS, do whatever you can. If you’re gonna have sex and you don’t have a condom, take your gum and stick that on the end of your penis. Or better yet get a cork and shove that down there, or throw some kitty litter in her vagina before you start. Do something, anything, i don't care, I'm just sick of your goddamn kids."
Do you have any idea how many taxes I pay for after school programs and school breakfast programs and juvenile facilities, all for kids I don’t fucking have, all because some other dipshit had a kid and they’re either too dumb or too poor to raise them. WHY IS THIS ON ME NOW? I DON’T WANNA PAY FOR YOUR STUPID FUCKING KIDS! YOU HAD THEM, YOU RAISE THEM! How many crimes are committed by kids under 16? I m willing to guess it's 98 percent. Who is it kicking off my side mirrors at night and fueling the meth industry? Is it old Asian men, or is it 15-year-old idiots? STOP HAVING KIDS, do whatever you can. If you’re gonna have sex and you don’t have a condom, take your gum and stick that on the end of your penis. Or better yet get a cork and shove that down there, or throw some kitty litter in her vagina before you start. Do something, anything, i don't care, I'm just sick of your goddamn kids."