another failed example
There is a question that is slowly eating away at me in the back of my mind. Is life long love really obtainable? It seems close to every month i find myself breaking down the Walt Disney wall of ignorance that is molded into our minds as children. We are meant to believe that one day cupid will strike us with his arrow and love will hit like a ton of bricks. Coming down on your head leaving your brain spinning, your lips speechless and a comfort in forever knowing you have found someone special.
Any rational person who looks at the facts can no longer live in this land of make believe without risking getting absolutely crushed emotionally. Every relationship that i thought meant something, any relationship that i saw what i perceived love as has failed, most of the time causing incredible pain. Those foolish enough to stay together seem like they are either doing it out of familiarity or for some other reason that is not love.
My parents seem so hollow around each other any more i am amazed it has lasted this long. There were serious talks of divorce over stupid shit like softball and religion and now it seems like they just stay together because its easier than being alone and on their own.
My friends whom i respect and thought had found wonderful girls, all seem to fail. The ladies in each of their lives messed around even though most of them were married to my friends when they did. I found out tonight it happened to another friend, and i thought for sure that these two would make it.
My friend/ex megan is getting married within 6 months if i am correct, to a man she will have been dating for less than a year. Of that year they will have spent a grand total of three months together due to him being stationed overseas. I do not expect that one to last for long and i feel sorry for the train wreck i see approaching. If you are dumb enough to walk onto the tracks then i guess you should have for saw the impact coming.
My friend Brad is also getting married for what i think are all the wrong reasons. The girl is a great girl don't get me wrong, and they have a good chance of being happy but i do not see him staying content with this her. I think he is only doing it to make up for the failure of his past relationship with the girl of his dreams. He fucked up, and to stop the pain he has latched on to any willing female ever since. I fear he may be doing this to hide from his one big fuck up.
My sister Jessie is getting married too. This one i support 100%. If there is anything that can restore hope that it is possible to find someone to love for a life time it is these two. I wish them well, for their own happiness and for a bit of my own piece of mind because if they fail the out look of a long term relationship will be so bleak that i might not deem it worth my time. No pressure guys.
Maybe happily ever after was too much to ask for. With divorce rates in this country over 50% it is hard to be an optimist. Maybe it is time to throw away the fairy tale and come to grips with reality. Because i think when you push aside the delusion and see through the smoke you will realize that happily ever after is not what i really want. If you go in expecting that you are setting yourself to be hurt. It requires hard work, compromise, commitment, understanding, loyalty, an undying friendship and above all honesty. Its not easy, but then nothing in life worth having is ever easy. You have to put in time and effort to mold a relationship, but what you get out is far better and worth far more than the time you put in when the feelings are mutual.
Maybe i am way off base here and maybe i am disillusioned by my want to find what i am describing. But i hope not. The Dalai Lama once said "Love deeply and passionately, you may get hurt, but it is the only way to live life completely." Since i dont think that i have ever really been in love i have no evidence to affirm or deny this claim. The only way to find out is try.
Any rational person who looks at the facts can no longer live in this land of make believe without risking getting absolutely crushed emotionally. Every relationship that i thought meant something, any relationship that i saw what i perceived love as has failed, most of the time causing incredible pain. Those foolish enough to stay together seem like they are either doing it out of familiarity or for some other reason that is not love.
My parents seem so hollow around each other any more i am amazed it has lasted this long. There were serious talks of divorce over stupid shit like softball and religion and now it seems like they just stay together because its easier than being alone and on their own.
My friends whom i respect and thought had found wonderful girls, all seem to fail. The ladies in each of their lives messed around even though most of them were married to my friends when they did. I found out tonight it happened to another friend, and i thought for sure that these two would make it.
My friend/ex megan is getting married within 6 months if i am correct, to a man she will have been dating for less than a year. Of that year they will have spent a grand total of three months together due to him being stationed overseas. I do not expect that one to last for long and i feel sorry for the train wreck i see approaching. If you are dumb enough to walk onto the tracks then i guess you should have for saw the impact coming.
My friend Brad is also getting married for what i think are all the wrong reasons. The girl is a great girl don't get me wrong, and they have a good chance of being happy but i do not see him staying content with this her. I think he is only doing it to make up for the failure of his past relationship with the girl of his dreams. He fucked up, and to stop the pain he has latched on to any willing female ever since. I fear he may be doing this to hide from his one big fuck up.
My sister Jessie is getting married too. This one i support 100%. If there is anything that can restore hope that it is possible to find someone to love for a life time it is these two. I wish them well, for their own happiness and for a bit of my own piece of mind because if they fail the out look of a long term relationship will be so bleak that i might not deem it worth my time. No pressure guys.
Maybe happily ever after was too much to ask for. With divorce rates in this country over 50% it is hard to be an optimist. Maybe it is time to throw away the fairy tale and come to grips with reality. Because i think when you push aside the delusion and see through the smoke you will realize that happily ever after is not what i really want. If you go in expecting that you are setting yourself to be hurt. It requires hard work, compromise, commitment, understanding, loyalty, an undying friendship and above all honesty. Its not easy, but then nothing in life worth having is ever easy. You have to put in time and effort to mold a relationship, but what you get out is far better and worth far more than the time you put in when the feelings are mutual.
Maybe i am way off base here and maybe i am disillusioned by my want to find what i am describing. But i hope not. The Dalai Lama once said "Love deeply and passionately, you may get hurt, but it is the only way to live life completely." Since i dont think that i have ever really been in love i have no evidence to affirm or deny this claim. The only way to find out is try.