(no subject)
um so nationals is like friday, and i am FREAKING OUT!!!! like i have two chances to be all-american, that is crazy, like me, all-anything is crazy, but i am more excited about going with an amazing group of people and we'll be in NYC, so whatever happens, i get free food.
i feel bad that i had been letting down a friend for awhile, and i feel bad that it took me so long to flip out about it, that it took them not talking to me to like tell them we need to change the way things are. i forget that sometimes i have a bad way of showing that i care, and i need to be a better friend. i apolgize, i'm working on it.
it's weird when people care about me. i'm not used to it. i forget that maybe what happens to me, and my actions actually effect other people who care, and i cant just be dumb all the time. i wish sometimes no one cared because then i couldnt let anyone down, but, i need people and its nice to be loved. incredibly nice.
i'm glad i've learned to talk too. not in the sense that i can form words, but that i used to never be able to express my emotions or thoughts on sensitive matters like whats bothering me and now i've learned to be like, oh sometimes the matter, we should talk about it now. i like it, because the more i harbor things inside me, the worse it gets, and now like i feel i am avoiding so much conflict and i am actually learning to let people into my life and hopefully having other people open up to me. i think this might be called maturity, i'm not sure, this is new for me.
p.s you're wonderful
i feel bad that i had been letting down a friend for awhile, and i feel bad that it took me so long to flip out about it, that it took them not talking to me to like tell them we need to change the way things are. i forget that sometimes i have a bad way of showing that i care, and i need to be a better friend. i apolgize, i'm working on it.
it's weird when people care about me. i'm not used to it. i forget that maybe what happens to me, and my actions actually effect other people who care, and i cant just be dumb all the time. i wish sometimes no one cared because then i couldnt let anyone down, but, i need people and its nice to be loved. incredibly nice.
i'm glad i've learned to talk too. not in the sense that i can form words, but that i used to never be able to express my emotions or thoughts on sensitive matters like whats bothering me and now i've learned to be like, oh sometimes the matter, we should talk about it now. i like it, because the more i harbor things inside me, the worse it gets, and now like i feel i am avoiding so much conflict and i am actually learning to let people into my life and hopefully having other people open up to me. i think this might be called maturity, i'm not sure, this is new for me.
p.s you're wonderful