Multi-part: Breathe (16)
Title: Breathe (16)
Pairings: Matsumoto Jun, Ikuta Toma
Rating: back to the standard R-rating
Genre: AU, angst, romance
A/N: Lyrics from "Niji" by Ninomiya Kazunari.
No sooner had Toma fallen asleep, the younger man's phone started to ring in the other room. Jun went quickly to fetch it, wanting the other man to sleep as much as possible. "SHUNmesiter" flashed on the caller ID, and Jun had to chuckle despite the melancholy he felt. He flipped open the phone on the next ring.
"Shun?"
He was answered with startled silence, then a tentative, "Jun?"
Jun chuckled at the other man's perplexity. "Yeah, it's me."
"Man, I thought I was going crazy! I could've sworn I called Toma's phone!" His laugh was loud in the quiet room and relaxing to Jun's nerves.
Jun sat back on Toma's couch, throwing his head over the back, the phone held loosely to his ear. "Yeah, this is Toma's phone. I'm at his place still," Jun said quietly, after Shun had settled down.
"Ah," the older man sighed, "how's the little fucker doing? Is he bitching up a storm?"
Jun laughed softly, scrubbing his hand tiredly over his eyes. "He's in a lot of pain, but he won't say it," he said sighing. "He passed out as soon as he hit the bed." Shun was subdued at that. "God, what a fucking mess…" Jun groaned.
"Common, don't do that. It's not your fault; that fucker got what was coming to him."
"Sho's not the problem," he mumbled under his breath. "I didn't want it to come to this…" Jun exhaled loudly, the frustration seeping into his voice. "I didn't want Toma to get stuck in the middle…" he whispered miserably.
Bingo. "You know he's a persistent little shit," Shun laughed, "he would've found a way to get himself involved somehow." There was silence as both parties pondered the events that had taken place. "So," Shun said finally, drawing the word out with more than a little amusement in his voice.
He knows… Jun thought, unable to stop the blush from rising in his cheeks.
"You were worried about Toma, huh?" There was way too much glee in the older man's voice than Jun thought was appropriate for the question.
"O-Of course I was! Am! I am! W-Worried about Toma…dammit…" Jun forced himself to stop babbling as Shun cackled on the other end of the line. "Fuck you, Oguri," he groaned, face-palming repeatedly.
"It's nice to know you both are the same brand of idiot," Shun said with a laugh. "Let me know if you guys need anything," he said quickly, breaking into more laughter.
"Thanks, I think," Jun sighed, smiling despite himself. He hung up before the other man could retort. He laid Toma's phone nicely on the coffee table before sprawling out on the couch. "Fuck my life…" he moaned into the silent room. The fridge motor kicked on in response.
__
Itsumo sou yo...suneru to kimi wa. Watashi no daiji na mono wo kakusu desho. Sono basho wa kimatte onaji dakara. Kyou wa saki ni itte matte miruwa. Kisetsu tachi ga yuuhi wo tsuretekite...kage ga watashi wo mitsukete nobiru...
Jun woke to the sound of the shower running in Toma's bedroom.
He stretched slowly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, as he glanced at the wall clock in the living room. It was just nearing 11am; he'd been sleeping for a good 2 hours, probably longer. And it was an easy bet that Toma was probably feeling like hell…
Dragging himself off the couch, he shuffled through the living room and through the bedroom, stopping to knock on the closed bathroom door.
He cracked the door open enough so his voice could be heard over the water. "Toma? Need anything?"
"N-No, I just-" Jun heard the younger man shuffling around and then a muffled curse.
"Toma?" Jun opened the door further, the steam from the shower hovering thickly in the small space. A thin robe had been chucked onto the counter top; in Toma's condition, it was probably the wisest choice.
"I-I'm fine," Toma replied shakily, cursing more. "Can you just…find…some painkillers or something? Please?"
The 'please' sounded bitter in Jun's ears; Toma's pride was obviously still taking a beating. "Where do you keep it?"
"Ah…in the bedside table, I think," he said. Jun chuckled as he closed the door. He was probably looking for the "hangover stash" saved for morning emergencies.
Jun found the medicine right where Toma said it would be. He hurried out into the kitchen just as Toma finished his shower, and returned quickly with a glass of water for the pills. He sat on the edge of the bed to wait for the younger man.
Jun prided himself on being fairly reasonable and patient (enough), but after 10 minutes of waiting, he was starting to worry. He stood and walked over to the door, hesitating briefly before knocking. "Everything…ok?"
The door opened slowly to reveal a completely disheveled, and still dripping wet Toma, who was flustered and miserable. He'd managed to tug the robe on, with the shoulders askew and the tie only barely hanging on. His hair was dripping puddles on the floor and quickly soaking into the thin material of his robe.
"I…found the painkillers…" Jun said softly, trying not to laugh at the pathetic creature in front of him. An adorable frown flitted across Toma's face as he grunted in response, and shuffle/limped to the bed. He stood there for a moment, contemplating his next move, before sighing and gingerly laying down. Jun followed the younger man, grabbing the pills and water from the table, and sitting next to Toma as he lay panting on the bed. "Open," he said, dangling the little white pills over Toma's face. He popped them into the opened mouth; Toma swallowed them dry.
"Thanks…" he sighed heavily. There was an awkward silence before the younger man scoffed angrily. "I feel like such a damn baby; I can't even wipe my own ass!" Jun smiled at the outburst making Toma laugh. "I'm serious! Don’t laugh," he whined playfully, enjoying seeing the smile on Jun's face.
"What hurts?"
"What doesn't??" Toma laughed as he tried to shift more comfortably and ended up groaning instead. "Fuck…" he moaned, catching his breath. Toma tried to stretch out his right arm, hissed, and thought better of it.
"Toma…" Jun gasped, catching the younger man's arm before he could withdraw it; the knuckles and wrist of his right hand were completely swollen. "What….what happened?"
Toma pulled his arm back sullenly. "I honestly…can't remember," he said softly. "I remember chasing after...the jerk…into the studio." He paused, "And then next thing I know, I'm sitting on the ground and Shun's standing over me." He frowned as he looked up at Jun. "I think I might've thrown a punch at Shun…"
The self-deprecating look was back on Jun's face, as well as the frown. Silently he stood up and left the room, leaving Toma in a state of utter confusion. Sounds of puttering in the kitchen, then the ice bin, told Toma that Jun had not abandoned him. The older man returned quickly with a bowl of ice and several hand towels.
Without a word, he set about laying towels under the injured arm, wrapping ice in another towel, and laying it gently on Toma's arm.
The younger man looked on, feeling guiltier and guiltier about whatever was weighing on Jun's mind.
"Jun…you don't have to…" he sighed in frustration; Jun's frown deepened. "I’m sorry," he said finally, not knowing what else to say.
Jun looked up at him, confused. "Why are you sorry?"
"You're mad….that I hit him…aren't you?" Toma said hesitantly. Jun shook his head, averting his eyes. "Why…then? Talk to me….Jun?"
Jun sighed, his hands stilling over the makeshift ice packs. "I didn't want to get you involved in my mess," he said softly. "I didn't want you to get stuck in the middle of it." His eyes met Toma's, the anger at himself finally visible to the younger man. "I sure as hell didn't want you to ever, get hurt, because of me."
"Jun…" Toma groaned and stopped mid-reach. He sighed moodily, "Fuck, this would be so much easier if I could move, dammit," he mumbled darkly. "Can you…come down here, or something," he said. "Please?" he asked, begging with his eyes. Jun sighed and laid next to Toma, their faces almost close enough to…
"Look," Toma said, trying to ignore the gentle down-turn of Jun's lips as he frowned, or the sad puppy dog look in his eyes. "Look," he said again, centering his thoughts, "I know we haven't know each other a long time…and I know you're still getting over your ex…" Shit, hadn't he said all these things before…? "But, the thing is...the thing is," he gulped, suddenly nervous. "The thing is, I'd do just about anything for you…whether or not you love me back…" The younger man had to suck in a deep breath to slow down his fluttering heart. God, had he just said all that outloud?? For fuck's sake…
Jun was staring hard at Toma, unable to make sense of what he was hearing. "Why…" he whispered finally. "Why would you love me?"
Toma gaped. "W-Why the fuck wouldn't I??" he sputtered.
"I'm such a damned mess…why…why would you want me?"
"Jun…" Toma sighed, his heart breaking for the older man. "If you could see just how fucking beautiful you are…just everything…" he sighed. "God, if I could kick that fucktards ass again…" he growled under his breath.
Toma watched as something changed within the other man, as if he'd come to an internal decision.
Jun sighed. "See, the thing is," he said the hints of a shy smile tugging at his lips. "I really like you too." Toma gawked, a goofy grin breaking out over his face as it sunk in. "I think…" Jun said slowly, carefully considering his words, "I think if we take things slow, I think we could make something work…"
"No, shit?!" Toma breathed, still unable to fully process what he'd just heard.
A genuine smile broke out on Jun's face as he leaned over carefully and left a chaste kiss at the corner of Toma's mouth.
The younger man sputtered as Jun rolled away. "W-What?! You can't just leave me like that!! After that!" Jun laughed out loud as he fixed Toma's robe nicely. "Jun! Dammit, JUN!" Jun giggled as he practically floated to the door, feeling lighter than he had…he couldn't remember the last he'd felt this good. "JUN!"
He laughed as he disappeared through the door.
Yasashiku warau kimi ga...kono jikan ga kuukan ga. Nakitaku naru kurai...ichiban daiji na mono da yo. Wazato togaraseteru...watashi ni gomen ne no henji wo motazu ni yasashiku kisu shitano...Kore kara wa chotto kurai no wagamama...itte mo ii yo...demo watashi ni dake yo.
Pairings: Matsumoto Jun, Ikuta Toma
Rating: back to the standard R-rating
Genre: AU, angst, romance
A/N: Lyrics from "Niji" by Ninomiya Kazunari.
No sooner had Toma fallen asleep, the younger man's phone started to ring in the other room. Jun went quickly to fetch it, wanting the other man to sleep as much as possible. "SHUNmesiter" flashed on the caller ID, and Jun had to chuckle despite the melancholy he felt. He flipped open the phone on the next ring.
"Shun?"
He was answered with startled silence, then a tentative, "Jun?"
Jun chuckled at the other man's perplexity. "Yeah, it's me."
"Man, I thought I was going crazy! I could've sworn I called Toma's phone!" His laugh was loud in the quiet room and relaxing to Jun's nerves.
Jun sat back on Toma's couch, throwing his head over the back, the phone held loosely to his ear. "Yeah, this is Toma's phone. I'm at his place still," Jun said quietly, after Shun had settled down.
"Ah," the older man sighed, "how's the little fucker doing? Is he bitching up a storm?"
Jun laughed softly, scrubbing his hand tiredly over his eyes. "He's in a lot of pain, but he won't say it," he said sighing. "He passed out as soon as he hit the bed." Shun was subdued at that. "God, what a fucking mess…" Jun groaned.
"Common, don't do that. It's not your fault; that fucker got what was coming to him."
"Sho's not the problem," he mumbled under his breath. "I didn't want it to come to this…" Jun exhaled loudly, the frustration seeping into his voice. "I didn't want Toma to get stuck in the middle…" he whispered miserably.
Bingo. "You know he's a persistent little shit," Shun laughed, "he would've found a way to get himself involved somehow." There was silence as both parties pondered the events that had taken place. "So," Shun said finally, drawing the word out with more than a little amusement in his voice.
He knows… Jun thought, unable to stop the blush from rising in his cheeks.
"You were worried about Toma, huh?" There was way too much glee in the older man's voice than Jun thought was appropriate for the question.
"O-Of course I was! Am! I am! W-Worried about Toma…dammit…" Jun forced himself to stop babbling as Shun cackled on the other end of the line. "Fuck you, Oguri," he groaned, face-palming repeatedly.
"It's nice to know you both are the same brand of idiot," Shun said with a laugh. "Let me know if you guys need anything," he said quickly, breaking into more laughter.
"Thanks, I think," Jun sighed, smiling despite himself. He hung up before the other man could retort. He laid Toma's phone nicely on the coffee table before sprawling out on the couch. "Fuck my life…" he moaned into the silent room. The fridge motor kicked on in response.
__
Itsumo sou yo...suneru to kimi wa. Watashi no daiji na mono wo kakusu desho. Sono basho wa kimatte onaji dakara. Kyou wa saki ni itte matte miruwa. Kisetsu tachi ga yuuhi wo tsuretekite...kage ga watashi wo mitsukete nobiru...
Jun woke to the sound of the shower running in Toma's bedroom.
He stretched slowly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, as he glanced at the wall clock in the living room. It was just nearing 11am; he'd been sleeping for a good 2 hours, probably longer. And it was an easy bet that Toma was probably feeling like hell…
Dragging himself off the couch, he shuffled through the living room and through the bedroom, stopping to knock on the closed bathroom door.
He cracked the door open enough so his voice could be heard over the water. "Toma? Need anything?"
"N-No, I just-" Jun heard the younger man shuffling around and then a muffled curse.
"Toma?" Jun opened the door further, the steam from the shower hovering thickly in the small space. A thin robe had been chucked onto the counter top; in Toma's condition, it was probably the wisest choice.
"I-I'm fine," Toma replied shakily, cursing more. "Can you just…find…some painkillers or something? Please?"
The 'please' sounded bitter in Jun's ears; Toma's pride was obviously still taking a beating. "Where do you keep it?"
"Ah…in the bedside table, I think," he said. Jun chuckled as he closed the door. He was probably looking for the "hangover stash" saved for morning emergencies.
Jun found the medicine right where Toma said it would be. He hurried out into the kitchen just as Toma finished his shower, and returned quickly with a glass of water for the pills. He sat on the edge of the bed to wait for the younger man.
Jun prided himself on being fairly reasonable and patient (enough), but after 10 minutes of waiting, he was starting to worry. He stood and walked over to the door, hesitating briefly before knocking. "Everything…ok?"
The door opened slowly to reveal a completely disheveled, and still dripping wet Toma, who was flustered and miserable. He'd managed to tug the robe on, with the shoulders askew and the tie only barely hanging on. His hair was dripping puddles on the floor and quickly soaking into the thin material of his robe.
"I…found the painkillers…" Jun said softly, trying not to laugh at the pathetic creature in front of him. An adorable frown flitted across Toma's face as he grunted in response, and shuffle/limped to the bed. He stood there for a moment, contemplating his next move, before sighing and gingerly laying down. Jun followed the younger man, grabbing the pills and water from the table, and sitting next to Toma as he lay panting on the bed. "Open," he said, dangling the little white pills over Toma's face. He popped them into the opened mouth; Toma swallowed them dry.
"Thanks…" he sighed heavily. There was an awkward silence before the younger man scoffed angrily. "I feel like such a damn baby; I can't even wipe my own ass!" Jun smiled at the outburst making Toma laugh. "I'm serious! Don’t laugh," he whined playfully, enjoying seeing the smile on Jun's face.
"What hurts?"
"What doesn't??" Toma laughed as he tried to shift more comfortably and ended up groaning instead. "Fuck…" he moaned, catching his breath. Toma tried to stretch out his right arm, hissed, and thought better of it.
"Toma…" Jun gasped, catching the younger man's arm before he could withdraw it; the knuckles and wrist of his right hand were completely swollen. "What….what happened?"
Toma pulled his arm back sullenly. "I honestly…can't remember," he said softly. "I remember chasing after...the jerk…into the studio." He paused, "And then next thing I know, I'm sitting on the ground and Shun's standing over me." He frowned as he looked up at Jun. "I think I might've thrown a punch at Shun…"
The self-deprecating look was back on Jun's face, as well as the frown. Silently he stood up and left the room, leaving Toma in a state of utter confusion. Sounds of puttering in the kitchen, then the ice bin, told Toma that Jun had not abandoned him. The older man returned quickly with a bowl of ice and several hand towels.
Without a word, he set about laying towels under the injured arm, wrapping ice in another towel, and laying it gently on Toma's arm.
The younger man looked on, feeling guiltier and guiltier about whatever was weighing on Jun's mind.
"Jun…you don't have to…" he sighed in frustration; Jun's frown deepened. "I’m sorry," he said finally, not knowing what else to say.
Jun looked up at him, confused. "Why are you sorry?"
"You're mad….that I hit him…aren't you?" Toma said hesitantly. Jun shook his head, averting his eyes. "Why…then? Talk to me….Jun?"
Jun sighed, his hands stilling over the makeshift ice packs. "I didn't want to get you involved in my mess," he said softly. "I didn't want you to get stuck in the middle of it." His eyes met Toma's, the anger at himself finally visible to the younger man. "I sure as hell didn't want you to ever, get hurt, because of me."
"Jun…" Toma groaned and stopped mid-reach. He sighed moodily, "Fuck, this would be so much easier if I could move, dammit," he mumbled darkly. "Can you…come down here, or something," he said. "Please?" he asked, begging with his eyes. Jun sighed and laid next to Toma, their faces almost close enough to…
"Look," Toma said, trying to ignore the gentle down-turn of Jun's lips as he frowned, or the sad puppy dog look in his eyes. "Look," he said again, centering his thoughts, "I know we haven't know each other a long time…and I know you're still getting over your ex…" Shit, hadn't he said all these things before…? "But, the thing is...the thing is," he gulped, suddenly nervous. "The thing is, I'd do just about anything for you…whether or not you love me back…" The younger man had to suck in a deep breath to slow down his fluttering heart. God, had he just said all that outloud?? For fuck's sake…
Jun was staring hard at Toma, unable to make sense of what he was hearing. "Why…" he whispered finally. "Why would you love me?"
Toma gaped. "W-Why the fuck wouldn't I??" he sputtered.
"I'm such a damned mess…why…why would you want me?"
"Jun…" Toma sighed, his heart breaking for the older man. "If you could see just how fucking beautiful you are…just everything…" he sighed. "God, if I could kick that fucktards ass again…" he growled under his breath.
Toma watched as something changed within the other man, as if he'd come to an internal decision.
Jun sighed. "See, the thing is," he said the hints of a shy smile tugging at his lips. "I really like you too." Toma gawked, a goofy grin breaking out over his face as it sunk in. "I think…" Jun said slowly, carefully considering his words, "I think if we take things slow, I think we could make something work…"
"No, shit?!" Toma breathed, still unable to fully process what he'd just heard.
A genuine smile broke out on Jun's face as he leaned over carefully and left a chaste kiss at the corner of Toma's mouth.
The younger man sputtered as Jun rolled away. "W-What?! You can't just leave me like that!! After that!" Jun laughed out loud as he fixed Toma's robe nicely. "Jun! Dammit, JUN!" Jun giggled as he practically floated to the door, feeling lighter than he had…he couldn't remember the last he'd felt this good. "JUN!"
He laughed as he disappeared through the door.
Yasashiku warau kimi ga...kono jikan ga kuukan ga. Nakitaku naru kurai...ichiban daiji na mono da yo. Wazato togaraseteru...watashi ni gomen ne no henji wo motazu ni yasashiku kisu shitano...Kore kara wa chotto kurai no wagamama...itte mo ii yo...demo watashi ni dake yo.