"Your cat is a demon from the lowest depths of hell" part 3
I've been getting a lot of phone calls today. I shall attempt to summarize the events here.
Dramatis Personae:
Mom - She who is regretting her offer to look after my cats.
Dramatis Felidae:
Taz - Felis Demonicus.
Turbo - Mom's cat. Starting to develop a catnip problem.
Kisa - (Mostly) Innocent Bystander.
Early, early this morning...
Mom: *staggers through the Sacred Living Room of the Really Old and Very White Couch, in bathrobe and slippers, to get the Sunday paper*
Taz: Meow! ("Gooood morning, human! Breakfast has not been served."
Mom: *grunts*
Taz: Meeeeow! ("We would like to lodge a formal complaint about the service.")
Mom: *squints*
Taz: Mrrrrrp-rrrrow-eeeow! ("And Kisa missed the box again. We would like to discuss seperate accomodations.")
Mom: *reaches front door*
Taz: Mrrrrrrt! ("Great!") *blithely hops barrier* ("I'll take this room!")
Mom: *picks Taz up, deposits her behind the barrier, gets the paper, and returns*
Taz: *meets Mom at front door* ("That was not very hospitable, human.")
Mom: *blinks, shakes newspaper*
Taz: *flounces, twitches tail, strips leaves off of ivy plant* ("We were discussing an upgrade. And breakfast.")
Mom: *grabs Taz, deposits her behind the barrier again, heads for the coffee pot*
Taz: *nimbly climbs the barrier and hops over* Meow!!! ("We were NOT finished!!")
Mom: *deposits Taz behind barrier again, retrieves paper*
Taz: *is waiting for her when she turns around, barrier pushed to one side* Rrrrrr. ("We are losing... our... patience... hyu-mon.")
Mom: *heads for can opener*
Shortly thereafter...
Taz: *sits in front of second barrier* Meow! ("Now. About the accomodations.")
Mom: *prepares bribe snack*
Shortly thereafter...
Taz: *at Turbostan border* Meow! ("We were thinking a heated box would be nice. Perhaps one in black and white marble, to match our fur.")
Mom: *realizes there is no more cat food*
Taz: Meow. ("And you. You will start referring to us by our proper title, effective immediately.")
Turbo: HISS!
Taz: *flicks tail tip* ("No. That is 'Her Eminance, Grand Empress Taz of the White Couch, Omniversal Majestrix, All Your Dairy Products Are Belong To Us'. Practice it, peon.")
Turbo: HISS!
Mom: *opens can of people tuna*
Many hours, barrier breaches, hisses, saucers of tuna and cheese, and phone calls later...
Turbo: *lounges on end table in the den*
Taz: *sits at second barrier* Meow. ("You realize, this silly construct isn't any better than the other one.") *demonstrates by hopping over*
Turbo: HISS!! HISS!! HISS!!!
Taz: *strolls across kitchen* ("So. This is what the servant's quarters look like. Le sniff.")
Turbo: HISSSSS!!! *puffs up, arches back*
Taz: *swats Turbo across the nose* ("We were not speaking to you.")
Turbo: *grows wings and flies across room, landing on the fireplace mantle, to the accompaniment of crashing knick-knacks*
Mom: *blinks*
Taz: Meow. ("Now, as we were saying, the tuna shows effort, but we really prefer salmon. Poached, with a bleu cheese sauce.")
Turbo: Hisssss...
Mom: *reaches for the phone*
Dramatis Personae:
Mom - She who is regretting her offer to look after my cats.
Dramatis Felidae:
Taz - Felis Demonicus.
Turbo - Mom's cat. Starting to develop a catnip problem.
Kisa - (Mostly) Innocent Bystander.
Early, early this morning...
Mom: *staggers through the Sacred Living Room of the Really Old and Very White Couch, in bathrobe and slippers, to get the Sunday paper*
Taz: Meow! ("Gooood morning, human! Breakfast has not been served."
Mom: *grunts*
Taz: Meeeeow! ("We would like to lodge a formal complaint about the service.")
Mom: *squints*
Taz: Mrrrrrp-rrrrow-eeeow! ("And Kisa missed the box again. We would like to discuss seperate accomodations.")
Mom: *reaches front door*
Taz: Mrrrrrrt! ("Great!") *blithely hops barrier* ("I'll take this room!")
Mom: *picks Taz up, deposits her behind the barrier, gets the paper, and returns*
Taz: *meets Mom at front door* ("That was not very hospitable, human.")
Mom: *blinks, shakes newspaper*
Taz: *flounces, twitches tail, strips leaves off of ivy plant* ("We were discussing an upgrade. And breakfast.")
Mom: *grabs Taz, deposits her behind the barrier again, heads for the coffee pot*
Taz: *nimbly climbs the barrier and hops over* Meow!!! ("We were NOT finished!!")
Mom: *deposits Taz behind barrier again, retrieves paper*
Taz: *is waiting for her when she turns around, barrier pushed to one side* Rrrrrr. ("We are losing... our... patience... hyu-mon.")
Mom: *heads for can opener*
Shortly thereafter...
Taz: *sits in front of second barrier* Meow! ("Now. About the accomodations.")
Mom: *prepares bribe snack*
Shortly thereafter...
Taz: *at Turbostan border* Meow! ("We were thinking a heated box would be nice. Perhaps one in black and white marble, to match our fur.")
Mom: *realizes there is no more cat food*
Taz: Meow. ("And you. You will start referring to us by our proper title, effective immediately.")
Turbo: HISS!
Taz: *flicks tail tip* ("No. That is 'Her Eminance, Grand Empress Taz of the White Couch, Omniversal Majestrix, All Your Dairy Products Are Belong To Us'. Practice it, peon.")
Turbo: HISS!
Mom: *opens can of people tuna*
Many hours, barrier breaches, hisses, saucers of tuna and cheese, and phone calls later...
Turbo: *lounges on end table in the den*
Taz: *sits at second barrier* Meow. ("You realize, this silly construct isn't any better than the other one.") *demonstrates by hopping over*
Turbo: HISS!! HISS!! HISS!!!
Taz: *strolls across kitchen* ("So. This is what the servant's quarters look like. Le sniff.")
Turbo: HISSSSS!!! *puffs up, arches back*
Taz: *swats Turbo across the nose* ("We were not speaking to you.")
Turbo: *grows wings and flies across room, landing on the fireplace mantle, to the accompaniment of crashing knick-knacks*
Mom: *blinks*
Taz: Meow. ("Now, as we were saying, the tuna shows effort, but we really prefer salmon. Poached, with a bleu cheese sauce.")
Turbo: Hisssss...
Mom: *reaches for the phone*