Public entry
It's come to my attention recently that people like what I have to say. I've been doing this blogging thing for a while and I didn't think that many people read it. That's alright, though, because it's cool to be a 'struggling artist/writer.' It gives you more mystery and sophistication. Now, earlier today I came across some news that blew me away. I was reading my friend's MySpace page and she posts and clicked on her blog, and to my surprise I found "The First Ever List of Fuck You's" as the title. Here is my own.........
I have cut this list into three seperate categories of "fuck" which are: People, Music/Artists/Bands, and Random Things/Events.
People
People that are assholes - Seriously, fuck you big time. Chances are, nobody likes you anyway, so you have to mess around with those you might have an actual chance with? Fuck you, here's a news flash. You're not popular, you don't even look good.
People that have no personality - God, this kills me. There has got to be something out there that you have an opinion about - no? If there's not, fucking find something, so that when you're engaged in an actual human conversation, you don't just smile and nod and look like a total moron.
People that put random letters that don't even make up words in their profile such as "IWALUNMWNMWASILUAAF" - Nobody even knows what the fuck that means. The person you're trying to get the attention of, probably doesn't even know what the fuck that means. Why we, as a culture, are still struggling with the English language, is beyond me.
People that actually want to kill themselves - There is really only one choice here. Get the help you need so you don't do something absolutely retarded. Everyone else just thinks you're fucking weird for talking about your collection of knives, guns, ropes, and prescription drugs.
Republicans - Maybe it's just me, but I'm thinking that one conclusion that we can draw from this year's election is, there are more fucking stupid people than smart people in America. Fuck you all for sentencing the United States to four more years of hell.
White people that are in denial about being white - There is an entire order of the people who are racially confused. Buy a mirror, look at it, and stop going to fucking Hello Club meetings.
The asshole who decided to show America "The Ring" - Good people lost lots of sleep over this flick. Fuck you, burn in hell.
People with the last name Bush - Fuck you for starting a war with various other countries that don't give a shit that you're "trying to help." Fuck you for not being straightforward with the American people. Fuck you for getting ready to reinstate the draft so more people can die and the ones that don't can come home all fucked up in the head.
People who try to be something they're not - You think you're special? You're not, because you don't even know what the fuck you are to begin with. Often imitated, never duplicated. It's not going to work, so grow a pair, or whatever applies to you, and try again later.
People who would flirt with anything short of a paper bag - Fuck you for looking so stupid and not even realizing it. I actually feel sorry for you. If you don't already have a girlfriend or a boyfriend and you have to try that hard, it would seem that whatever you're doing isn't working out so well, don't you think?
Gina Velez - I can't wait for you to to come back to DP because I may just say FUCK YOU to your nasty face. You have ruined so many people's lives it's unfuckingbelievable.
People that think high school is awesome - You might pretend, but deep down you know it sucks the big one. Acting like it's the be all and end all isn't going to make it any less painless. Good fucking luck in the real world.
People whose parents come to sporting events and won't shut the fuck up - Seriously, fuck you for embarassing your kid. Fuck you for embarassing the coach. Fuck you for making everyone else on the team look like trash because you can't keep your goddamm mouth shut for five fucking seconds. Way to represent.
People that work at Cream Puff Bakery at the present time and don't know what the hell they're doing - Would it kill you to smile? We know you don't want to be there, could you at least pretend?
People who make other people's lives miserable - Don't you have anything better to do with your time? Probably not. Fuck you, you're insensitive for messing with people who are obviously better than you in the first place.
People who are jealous every minute of every day- Fuck you people who will never be satisfied with their own lives. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you can't always get what you want. It's one of those facts of life that you're always hearing about. So to quote an old friend, "Cry a river, build a bridge, and get the fuck over it." No one gives a shit.
People that wear their money - The world already knows you're rich. But driving up in your Hummer H2, wearing Gucci and having one of those Prada bags is just plain stupid. You look like a prostitute that just got back from a shopping spree. There are people starving in the world and you're agonizing over whether or not to buy the fucking three hundred dollar Dolce pumps.
People that push religion - Nothing gets me like this does. People are entitled to think what they want, and it's irrational to believe that we're all going to live in fucking peace and harmony worshiping Christ and bowing down to His awesomeness. Read a book. Watch a movie. Do something other than try to convince people that don't even care.
Paris Hilton - First you have millions. Then you have billions. Next you look like a bumbling idiot on your own TV show with that other stupid rich girl. You just released a book, that you probably didn't write yourself. Now you want to work on an album, so you can be the next total sellout triple threat under twenty-one that's really got nothing going for them on than a moderately pretty face and a couple of low budget porno flicks. Fuck you, I want your dog.
People that cant mind their own business - Get a life. If people cared about you enough to inform you in the first place, you wouldn't have to stick your nose where it doesn't belong. Fuck you for not having a hobby.
People that involve other people in their petty bullshit - No I won't ask person X why they won't talk to you. If you wanna know so fucking bad, ask them your pathetic fucking self you stupid little bitch. Oh and fuck you.
People who won't go to someone else's party just because someone they don't like is there. Fuck you. You're not going to make fucking small talk with them. You're there to see the people who the party is for. Grow the fuck up.
Music/Artists/Bands
Hillary Duff - I'll admit that I thought Lizzie Maguire was cute for a little bit, until you decided to start humping every boy pop star your age, and then write a song about it. You're not pretty, you're not good at what you do, you sold out big time and now you can't even get a boyfriend. Fucking pathetic.
Britney Spears - Queen of Pop, my ass. Now you're getting ready to pop out anther one? Congratulations on finally tipping the scale, not to mention living up to everyone's expectations of you becoming a complete and total burn-out. Fuck all of your one hit wonders. Welcome to motherhood, skank.
Spice Girls - I'm pretty sure you girls were lesbians long before you even knew what lesbians were. It took me longer than I would have liked to realize that your "2 Become 1" is all about condoms and the fact that half of you wish you had dicks so you could do it the normal way. Fuck you for brainwashing young girls at an impressionable age. We were singing that song in the car and we didn't even know what the lyric "Put it on, put it on" had to do with a goddamn thing.
Katie Holmes - Dawson's Creek was one of my Tv shows. But now you want to be Mrs Tom Cruise? What's next? A songwriter? Maybe even a hooker? On another note, are your boobs real? They're like fucking balloons under all those designer threads. . Fuck you, you sold out more than any other sellout this entire year. Enjoy your fifteen minutes of fame.
Random Things/Events
High school, bitches, hoes, prostitutes, when MTV decided to stop playing music, the re-election of George Bush, seasonal allergies, people with no social skills, the radio, worms, cliques, fan clubs, spiders, comic books, Travis Barker for selling out and giving his kid a mohawk, new reality TV shows, bad drivers, the creation of the movie "The Ring", expensive restaurants that aren't even that good, junkies, people that tan until they turn orange, car accidents.
Fuck all these random insanities.
There you have it.
I have cut this list into three seperate categories of "fuck" which are: People, Music/Artists/Bands, and Random Things/Events.
People
People that are assholes - Seriously, fuck you big time. Chances are, nobody likes you anyway, so you have to mess around with those you might have an actual chance with? Fuck you, here's a news flash. You're not popular, you don't even look good.
People that have no personality - God, this kills me. There has got to be something out there that you have an opinion about - no? If there's not, fucking find something, so that when you're engaged in an actual human conversation, you don't just smile and nod and look like a total moron.
People that put random letters that don't even make up words in their profile such as "IWALUNMWNMWASILUAAF" - Nobody even knows what the fuck that means. The person you're trying to get the attention of, probably doesn't even know what the fuck that means. Why we, as a culture, are still struggling with the English language, is beyond me.
People that actually want to kill themselves - There is really only one choice here. Get the help you need so you don't do something absolutely retarded. Everyone else just thinks you're fucking weird for talking about your collection of knives, guns, ropes, and prescription drugs.
Republicans - Maybe it's just me, but I'm thinking that one conclusion that we can draw from this year's election is, there are more fucking stupid people than smart people in America. Fuck you all for sentencing the United States to four more years of hell.
White people that are in denial about being white - There is an entire order of the people who are racially confused. Buy a mirror, look at it, and stop going to fucking Hello Club meetings.
The asshole who decided to show America "The Ring" - Good people lost lots of sleep over this flick. Fuck you, burn in hell.
People with the last name Bush - Fuck you for starting a war with various other countries that don't give a shit that you're "trying to help." Fuck you for not being straightforward with the American people. Fuck you for getting ready to reinstate the draft so more people can die and the ones that don't can come home all fucked up in the head.
People who try to be something they're not - You think you're special? You're not, because you don't even know what the fuck you are to begin with. Often imitated, never duplicated. It's not going to work, so grow a pair, or whatever applies to you, and try again later.
People who would flirt with anything short of a paper bag - Fuck you for looking so stupid and not even realizing it. I actually feel sorry for you. If you don't already have a girlfriend or a boyfriend and you have to try that hard, it would seem that whatever you're doing isn't working out so well, don't you think?
Gina Velez - I can't wait for you to to come back to DP because I may just say FUCK YOU to your nasty face. You have ruined so many people's lives it's unfuckingbelievable.
People that think high school is awesome - You might pretend, but deep down you know it sucks the big one. Acting like it's the be all and end all isn't going to make it any less painless. Good fucking luck in the real world.
People whose parents come to sporting events and won't shut the fuck up - Seriously, fuck you for embarassing your kid. Fuck you for embarassing the coach. Fuck you for making everyone else on the team look like trash because you can't keep your goddamm mouth shut for five fucking seconds. Way to represent.
People that work at Cream Puff Bakery at the present time and don't know what the hell they're doing - Would it kill you to smile? We know you don't want to be there, could you at least pretend?
People who make other people's lives miserable - Don't you have anything better to do with your time? Probably not. Fuck you, you're insensitive for messing with people who are obviously better than you in the first place.
People who are jealous every minute of every day- Fuck you people who will never be satisfied with their own lives. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you can't always get what you want. It's one of those facts of life that you're always hearing about. So to quote an old friend, "Cry a river, build a bridge, and get the fuck over it." No one gives a shit.
People that wear their money - The world already knows you're rich. But driving up in your Hummer H2, wearing Gucci and having one of those Prada bags is just plain stupid. You look like a prostitute that just got back from a shopping spree. There are people starving in the world and you're agonizing over whether or not to buy the fucking three hundred dollar Dolce pumps.
People that push religion - Nothing gets me like this does. People are entitled to think what they want, and it's irrational to believe that we're all going to live in fucking peace and harmony worshiping Christ and bowing down to His awesomeness. Read a book. Watch a movie. Do something other than try to convince people that don't even care.
Paris Hilton - First you have millions. Then you have billions. Next you look like a bumbling idiot on your own TV show with that other stupid rich girl. You just released a book, that you probably didn't write yourself. Now you want to work on an album, so you can be the next total sellout triple threat under twenty-one that's really got nothing going for them on than a moderately pretty face and a couple of low budget porno flicks. Fuck you, I want your dog.
People that cant mind their own business - Get a life. If people cared about you enough to inform you in the first place, you wouldn't have to stick your nose where it doesn't belong. Fuck you for not having a hobby.
People that involve other people in their petty bullshit - No I won't ask person X why they won't talk to you. If you wanna know so fucking bad, ask them your pathetic fucking self you stupid little bitch. Oh and fuck you.
People who won't go to someone else's party just because someone they don't like is there. Fuck you. You're not going to make fucking small talk with them. You're there to see the people who the party is for. Grow the fuck up.
Music/Artists/Bands
Hillary Duff - I'll admit that I thought Lizzie Maguire was cute for a little bit, until you decided to start humping every boy pop star your age, and then write a song about it. You're not pretty, you're not good at what you do, you sold out big time and now you can't even get a boyfriend. Fucking pathetic.
Britney Spears - Queen of Pop, my ass. Now you're getting ready to pop out anther one? Congratulations on finally tipping the scale, not to mention living up to everyone's expectations of you becoming a complete and total burn-out. Fuck all of your one hit wonders. Welcome to motherhood, skank.
Spice Girls - I'm pretty sure you girls were lesbians long before you even knew what lesbians were. It took me longer than I would have liked to realize that your "2 Become 1" is all about condoms and the fact that half of you wish you had dicks so you could do it the normal way. Fuck you for brainwashing young girls at an impressionable age. We were singing that song in the car and we didn't even know what the lyric "Put it on, put it on" had to do with a goddamn thing.
Katie Holmes - Dawson's Creek was one of my Tv shows. But now you want to be Mrs Tom Cruise? What's next? A songwriter? Maybe even a hooker? On another note, are your boobs real? They're like fucking balloons under all those designer threads. . Fuck you, you sold out more than any other sellout this entire year. Enjoy your fifteen minutes of fame.
Random Things/Events
High school, bitches, hoes, prostitutes, when MTV decided to stop playing music, the re-election of George Bush, seasonal allergies, people with no social skills, the radio, worms, cliques, fan clubs, spiders, comic books, Travis Barker for selling out and giving his kid a mohawk, new reality TV shows, bad drivers, the creation of the movie "The Ring", expensive restaurants that aren't even that good, junkies, people that tan until they turn orange, car accidents.
Fuck all these random insanities.
There you have it.