I keep starting journal entries here

[dkaine]

and as I start writing, I begin to censor myself, uncomfortable with who may be reading this... and I say this knowing full well who I have added to my friend-list... I start thinking about what I'm writing, and get self-conscious about absolutely nothing. I start sorting through my friends and family, wondering who should be allowed to see what I

Comments

[lordameth]

Well, I'm not sure there's anything I can say that you haven't heard before, or wouldn't be expecting to hear, but I mean it sincerely. I think it's a common thing to feel that way. I often feel the same way. I have friends our age who are finishing phds, friends who already finished and are full-fledged professors; friends who live high-powered lives with high-salary jobs, flying all over the world all the time for business; friends who are buying houses.

And I feel left behind. I've done two curatorial internships, am about to start a third, and do not feel at all ready to be a capable, competent museum professional on my own, let alone curator. I have at least a year and a half left in my MA, and then still a whole phd before I can really start pursuing a career.

People tell me that there will always be people ahead of me, just as there will always be people behind me, and it doesn't really make me feel better. But, that's all there is to it, really. We're all on different paths, and we all need to take different paths to get there. And while we struggle to find our way onto the fast track, or to a goal, life happens in the meantime.

I'm sure none of this can really make it better on it's own. It's frustrating, and that's not going to change. But, if it does make you feel better, at least you're not alone in feeling that way. You're not behind the curve in dealing with this - we all struggle with it.