FIC: Memory (one-shot)
Title: Memory
Author: dk323
Rating: R (for part of the story due to violence and death); PG for the rest of it.
Characters/Pairings: Ten/Martha, others
Spoilers: Takes place post-Series 4.
Disclaimer: Don’t own Doctor Who, just playing with its characters.
Summary: Things fall apart. Beginnings. Endings. A story is told.
Beta: fourzoas, except for one scene, but her input helped greatly in shaping how it turned out. Thanks for your help. :-)
In the dark of the night, the Doctor watched, horrified, as his future incarnation stuck a knife into her gut, a cold expression carved into the other’s face.
She turned to him, a desperate look in her eyes as she touched her midsection. Drawing her hand away, she saw that it was bloody.
“What have you done? Why?” the Doctor uttered, anger lacing his words.
He tried to move forward to get to Martha, but the other man shot his hand out to stop him from getting closer.
“You’re not going to stop me,” the Doctor said forcefully.
He gripped the offending hand, but the hand wouldn’t budge. Instead, a vicious grin on his face, his future self pushed him away. Due to the force of the gesture, the Doctor lost his balance and glared from his position on the hard ground.
“I don’t think so,” his future self hissed, looking down at him.
Martha tried to sneak away toward the Doctor, her Doctor, but the pain in her wound was killing her, and it wouldn’t stop bleeding no matter how much pressure she put on it.
She couldn’t help crying out from the pain, and unfortunately, the other man noticed. With a smirk, he grabbed her arm, tightening his grip on it.
“Martha Jones. Do you ever regret traveling with Him?” he asked, whispering in her ear.
“Just let me go,” she said, trying not to let her fear show. She had faced the Master, so surely she could get past this twisted incarnation of the Doctor?
The Doctor was about to stand up and make a move, but he felt a wall in front of him blocking any further movement.
“You stay there and watch!” his other self demanded.
“Tell me why you’re doing this! It doesn’t make any sense,” the Doctor demanded.
“Now if I tell you about your future, that would just spoil it, won’t it? That won’t do,” he stopped in mid-sentence and, his grip still on Martha, he snapped her neck, “at all.” He finished, letting her body fall to the ground.
“Martha!” the Doctor screamed, horror-struck at seeing her die before his eyes.
“Welcome to your future,” the other man said with a relish. The Doctor couldn’t even look at him.
The invisible barrier fell, but his future self came between him and Martha before the Doctor could reach her. He wanted so badly to get her away from there.
His future self wagged his finger at him, slamming the Doctor against the wall of the alleyway.
“I’m not done with you yet,” he said, placing his hand on the Doctor’s cheek.
The Doctor let out a shaky breath, turning his head away from him. He knew what he had to do, but it would take longer than he wanted for it to take effect.
Unfortunately.
“I’ve almost forgotten how you looked - I - looked like all those years ago,” his other self said softly in his ear.
“Stop it.”
“I know what you’re thinking, what you’re planning on doing, but you won’t go through with it. It’ll cause a rather nasty paradox, a big old gaping hole in the universe.”
“I know,” the Doctor choked out. “But it has to be done.”
“Are you frightened of me?” he asked the Doctor.
“No,” he said, looking darkly at him with a rage underlying his words. “I don’t care who you are or what you do. You will pay.”
“Is that right?” his future self questioned.
“Why did you kill Martha?” the Doctor only asked.
The other man chuckled softly. He shook his head. “Spoilers. You just have to wait your turn. Now I want to hear you scream.”
In the end, the scream did come.
~ * ~
At an unguarded moment, the Doctor was able to strike and gain the upper hand. Slumped wretchedly against the wall, his future self was unconscious - at least long enough for the Doctor to summon his other self’s TARDIS to take him away. Anywhere but here.
He didn’t think the other Doctor would regenerate - his injuries weren’t that severe. Spitefully, he hoped that the other man was his last incarnation - that there would be no more possibility of regeneration for him.
As he saw the TARDIS, not his own, containing his (very much) despised future self, the Doctor wondered how his beloved ship could bear to carry that hateful future incarnation. Especially one who would inexplicably kill his own companion.
Martha, his Doctor, the brave woman who had walked the world to save it. His name always on her lips and on her mind as she told a tale about him.
And she did it brilliantly.
He crawled to her - her lifeless, cold body still by the wall. Cradling her in his arms, the Doctor wasn’t sure if he could ever let her go.
He clung to his companion, wishing he had said the right things the first time around. Wishing he hadn’t played with her heart, but oh so grateful she wouldn’t let him break her. That she had moved on and led a successful life without him. Recommending her to UNIT was the least he could do.
And now, Martha was gone.
She was gone…
He closed his eyes and permanently suspended his ability to regenerate. He had seen the future and he wanted no part of it.
The Doctor felt the world shifting.
It was the beginning of the end. He had disrupted the intricate balance of Time by preventing any chance of a future incarnation killing Martha.
~ * ~
“I’m not really Martha. Just a pale reflection, a memory…” she said softly, sounding oddly calm about this fact.
“I know, but I want you here with me.”
“What for, Doctor?”
He took her hand and looked into her eyes, giving her a small smile.
“The TARDIS, she gave you to me. Everything is going to end, but it’ll be okay. I have you.”
“She made me, but not for long. I feel myself fading away faster every second.”
“Do you feel it? You know what happens next,” the Doctor remarked.
“Yes, of course - I have access to the TARDIS memory banks, but still…Don’t you think this is a bit of a drastic measure, Doctor?”
“Oh, Martha,” the Doctor said cajolingly, going up to her and placing his hand on her cheek. “You know me. I can’t live with myself knowing that I would kill a companion of mine. I won’t let that happen.”
She was about to reply, but the Doctor quickly spoke before she could do so.
“Come on; it’s about to begin,” he said and his hand still in hers, led her to the TARDIS doors.
He opened the doors and Martha gasped in shock.
“It’s so white,”
“Are you ready, Martha?”
“Ready for what?”
He just moved closer to the edge and gave her a look.
“Oh no, you’re kidding me!”
“Well, it’s no use just sitting in the TARDIS waiting for the world to end! That’s no fun. Don’t you trust me?”
She rolled her eyes at him. “Of course I trust you. It’s just--” she stopped, an uncertain look on her face.
“I’ve got you. You won’t feel a thing. You won’t regret it.”
She sighed and nodded, though the Doctor felt her grip on his hand tightening considerably.
They turned to look at each other, and then faced the white nothing in front of them.
“Smith and Jones?” Martha said in a whisper.
“Smith and Jones,” the Doctor answered her, a grin on his face.
And they jumped.
They fell into the white.
And then it was like they hadn’t even existed at all.
~ * ~
The Doctor didn’t tell anyone that the world would be reborn again. A fresh start. Different choices. Different paths. Different lives. Well, he didn’t tell anyone because he wasn’t quite sure himself that it would work out this way.
But oh, he had hoped. Because, if anything, Martha Jones deserved a longer life, a better life. Maybe one where he had never made her feel like she was just second-best. She was much more than that. Much more…
~ * ~
“Want to join us?” A blonde girl, a few years younger than her maybe, asked her.
Martha Jones looked at the kids playing hopscotch. She had to admit, she was rather bored sitting on the bench. Her family was only here to visit her grandmother who lived in the Powell Estate.
She was fourteen years old and though she tried to be mature and act like an adult --- she’d been placed in the peacemaker position since she could remember and she recently read it was an unavoidable curse of being the middle child --- she just couldn’t take it anymore sometimes.
So Martha wisely, she decided, left her parents to their usual bickering while her grandma spent time with Tish and Leo.
She needed some air. And space. Space was good.
All these thoughts ran through her mind before she responded to the other girl.
“I’m not in the mood. Sorry,”
“Really? What’s wrong?” she asked, sitting down beside her.
“It’s a long story. I don’t want to bother you with it. Thanks for offering though.”
“Okay, well…my name’s Rose. What’s yours?”
Martha sighed, but then looked up, a bit surprised at Rose putting her hand out for her to shake.
Martha shook it. “My name is Martha. You live here?”
Rose nodded. “Yeah, with my mum. I haven’t seen you around,”
“I don’t live here. Just visiting my grandmother.”
“Do you live in a house?”
“Yeah…”
“Oh.”
“I’m sorry,” Martha said sympathetically at the sad look on the other girl’s face.
Rose shook her head, dismissing the subject. “Can I ask you a question? Don’t laugh, all right?”
“I won’t. What is it?”
“Well, I was reading this quiz in a magazine and one question asked what type of bloke you would marry. What would your answer be?”
“Are there any choices?”
Rose grinned. “Nope. Better to come up with your own, yeah? It’s more fun that way.”
“I’d have to say a doctor. I’m hoping to be a doctor myself one day and with how the job is…better to be with another doctor who will get what you go through everyday.”
“That’s a good answer - I like it. I personally would go for a movie star.”
“Who wouldn’t?” Martha commented, grinning at her.
They started giggling.
Rose had invited her to go back to her place soon after. Martha agreed, though she had to pass it by her parents just so they knew where she was.
They heard a loud whirring sound nearby as they walked back to where Rose lived. But they were too preoccupied in their conversation to really take notice of it.
~ * ~
“Well, that’s embarrassing. Alien planet, Doctor?”
“Oh, look. It’s us! Just there, Rose.”
“In the TARDIS! Allons-y! End of the world if you touch yourselves. I won’t have that.”
“Maybe you were feeling nostalgic, Doctor. Wanted to see us as little girls.”
“Oh! Martha: one, Doctor: nada!” she high-fived Martha in congratulations.
“Oi! You two. Inside. No teasing the Doctor on Saturdays, remember?”
“Aye, aye, Spock.”
The two of them laughed as they went back inside the TARDIS, the Doctor behind them muttering about not liking that name. But he didn’t really mean it, he never did.
He still had them and that was enough. He wasn’t alone.
~ * ~
Though Martha hadn’t been expecting on it, she grew to like Rose, even though the blonde girl was a bit younger than her. They soon became rather good friends.
~ * ~
Years later, when Martha was just beginning medical school, she heard the news about Henrik’s department store blowing up.
Where Rose worked. Martha decided to visit her the next morning to see how she was. Luckily, she had a free schedule that day.
~ * ~
“Martha, you know that bloke in the leather jacket I told you about? He’s at the door.”
“You didn’t let him in?”
“Sort of shut the door in his face. That was rude, wasn’t it? Oh god, what do I do?”
Martha stood up and went to the door, Rose behind her.
“He probably thinks I’m crazy, I know it!” Rose bemoaned, covering her face in embarrassment.
“The way you described him, he seemed a bit crazy himself,” Martha pointed out to her.
Martha opened the door and saw that the bloke was still there.
“Hello, you’re the Doctor, right? Rose told me about you.”
“What did she shut me out for?”
“Sorry about that! You just surprised me, that’s all,” Rose explained apologetically.
“That’s all right. Used to that! What’s your name?” He looked at Martha.
“Martha. Martha Jones. What are you doing here?”
“You’re not plastic, are you?” He asked.
“Not the last time I checked,”
“Need to make sure...” he said and knocked on Martha’s forehead. “Bonehead! Great! I’ll be off, bye!”
And he made his exit.
Martha looked incredulously at Rose. “Did he just call me a bonehead?”
Rose nodded, covering her mouth to hide her laughter.
“I’ll catch him!” Rose announced and rushed out the door.
Martha watched as Rose tackled him down to the ground in the corridor.
By the end of the day, Martha was offered an opportunity she could only dream of.
They saw the stars from the TARDIS - as the Doctor had said it was called - and Martha felt so small in a world now bigger than ever.
She turned her head upon hearing a voice behind her say: Well, it’s no use just sitting in the TARDIS waiting for the world to end!
But the voice was unfamiliar to her.
She chalked it up to just hearing things…it was an odd echo, maybe.
The Doctor did say the TARDIS was a sentient being after all. Could it be a memory?
Rose was shaking her shoulder, trying to get her attention, so Martha put any further speculation of the mysterious voice out of her mind.
“Martha, wake up!”
Martha opened her eyes suddenly.
“What was that? Was that - that was a --”
“You were dreaming, Martha. It was all just a dream.”
She sat up, a bit overwhelmed with all that happened in her strange dream.
“Are you all right?” the Doctor asked her, concerned. He had taken off his brown suit jacket - it was on the back of his chair - and his tie was loose.
“A bit disoriented. What happened? Where am I?”
“You’re in the Med Bay on the TARDIS. We just got back after that one trip you agreed to go on.”
Martha nodded, noting the small smile on his face. “I had a rather odd dream. I don’t understand it,” she commented, looking to the Doctor for answers.
He sighed, rubbing his forehead wearily. “We were on an alien planet, remember?”
Martha had a look of dawning realization on her face. “Oh right! Those aliens - the Dremlins. We split up for a time and one of them offered me this special dream pill they had. I turned them down at first, but then they were rather adamant about it.”
“Sorry about that. I should have mentioned to you that Dremlins have a talent for being extraordinarily persuasive. Though their intentions were harmless at best, unfortunately they did not know the effects the drug would have on humans. I’m guessing your dreams were different than the ones you’re used to?”
“Yeah, you could say that. I don’t know what it says about my subconscious that I dreamed what I did.”
The Doctor looked at her with interest. “What did you dream about, Martha?”
“I’d rather not--” but at the earnest look on the Doctor’s face, she relented.
“You could trust me. And you shouldn’t keep this to yourself, Martha. I can help,” he said, placing his hand over hers.
Martha sighed. “I’m not quite sure I can trust you.”
“Martha…”
She looked away, but then decided that the Doctor was right. It wouldn’t help if she kept what happened in the dream locked up in her mind - especially the unpleasant parts of her dream.
She told him firmly, “Just don’t interrupt, all right?”
“I won’t. I promise,” he said sincerely.
Martha took a deep breath and started to speak, “This is how it began: It was at night and you were there --”
The Doctor didn’t say a word, he just listened.
~ * ~
After Martha told him about her dream, she went to her room because she needed to pack up before the TARDIS took her home.
She didn’t notice the anxious look on the Doctor’s face before she left the Med Bay.
With a sigh, the Doctor had come to a decision and went to Martha’s room. He stood in the doorway for a few moments, just observing her before he made himself known.
“Martha,” he said quietly.
She looked up from her packing. “Yes, Doctor? What is it?”
“It’s your dream. The beginning of it - I think it would be best if I get rid of it for you.”
She just stared at him. “Well, so much for beating around the bush. You think I can’t handle it? Because if you think that, then you don’t know me at all.”
“Martha, it’s not that. I know you can handle it. The dreams that the pills create were never meant to be so - unpleasant. The rest of your dream - in the alternate reality with Rose, that is - fits with what I expected. I don’t know how a dream where an incarnation of me killed you found its way into your subconscious, but it would be in your best interest to forget it permanently. For your own safety, Martha - there may be something harmful attached to the dream.”
Martha nodded, but she had a thoughtful expression on her face. She didn’t answer him right away.
“Martha?”
She smiled softly at him. “Thanks for telling me beforehand. If only you had extended the same courtesy to Donna.”
“That was different! She was dying, Martha. What else was I supposed to do?” he said defensively.
“All the same. You can go ahead if you like,” she said.
She was now standing before him, the Doctor still looking as if he had more to say on the Donna issue.
“There was nothing I could do. I couldn’t - wouldn’t let her die. I only had so much time, Martha.”
Martha put her finger to his lips, forcing him to stop talking. “We’ve talked about this before. And for it’s worth, I trust you to do what’s right.”
“I’m sorry,” He whispered.
She just hugged him.
“Take it away from me. I’d like to keep the good part of the dream though. I admit I rather liked it,” she finished, a small smile on her face.
He placed his hands at her temples and performed the memory wipe.
The Doctor felt only a little guilty at the white lie he had told her. In fact, he didn’t think at all that the unpleasant beginning to her dream would harm her. He just couldn’t bear it if she still remembered it and had nightmares because of it. Martha had been through so much already after all.
He was being selfish, he knew, but he didn’t quite care.
~ * ~
Later on, when Martha saw the ghosts inside the TARDIS - of a Doctor she had never met (always wearing a leather jacket and the dark jumpers), a blonde girl looking to the stars and herself the voice of reason -- she didn’t tell the Doctor.
She felt that if she had told, the ghosts of her dream would leave for good. They were bleeding through into her waking reality.
And she let them until one day they were gone.
The dream pill only lasted for so long.
~ * ~
The End.