Fic: The Heart of King Arthur (7/7)
Masterpost: Here
“I thought you would like this portrait. It was a group picture. Everyone is in here - Grandfather, Grandmother, Mother, you, Aunt Viviane, and me, of course. I was five, remember?” Kahlan asked him, smiling as she unveiled the large portrait. She set it down on the table. The picture was so big that it would most certainly take up half the height of the wall.
Arthur recognized the painting - it had been one of the few paintings done of all of them, and Kahlan had fidgeted the whole time during the painter’s session. What made the portrait even more striking was that it was a moving portrait, a spell that Merlin and Nimue had devised to give life to the picture.
So there was Merlin and Nimue standing beside one another at the far left of the painting, Merlin smiling congenially and Nimue with her usual, “I’m up to something” smirk. On Morgana’s left was her older sister Viviane. She was wearing a flowing pale blue dress, which seemed to turn into water at the edges of the dress. She curtsied, her pose graceful and self-assured. Arthur remembered that Viviane was always more of a traditionalist in how she acted. She took her duty as the Lady of the Lake very seriously, and with as much heart and passion as Arthur took to ruling Camelot and her people.
Seated in an intricately carved chair in the center was Morgana. She was wearing a deep blue dress and a five-year-old Kahlan sat in her lap. Kahlan looked bored, more ready to play rather than sit still. Morgana held her still, gently admonishing her for fidgeting. Kahlan turned her head forward, a frown on her face. Then she blew a kiss in the unseen painter’s direction, giggling afterwards, and went about playing with the golden trim on her dress.
Arthur himself was standing to the right of Morgana, his hand resting on the back of her chair. He had a firm expression on his face, every inch the King, and his other hand gripped the hilt of Excalibur. The sword’s tip touched the stone ground. But despite his firm, serious look, Arthur did glance at his daughter every so often, a warm, fond expression in his eyes as he observed her antics. Morgana looked up at Arthur and smiled knowingly at him.
All together, it was truly a beautiful portrait. Arthur felt honoured to be given the portrait to keep.
“I love it. Thank you,” Arthur said appreciatively.
Kahlan smiled at him. “It’s the least I can do. It’s always nice to have reminders of the past.”
Arthur nodded, his gaze drifting to Merlin’s smiling face, his former mentor waving his hand briefly.
How Merlin could have still found happiness in life after his ordeal, Arthur could scarcely imagine. Maybe his many years of living forced Merlin to deal with his conflicted past and move on, doggedly, but still with his best effort.
Or it was as Merlin had said: his bond with his dragon had helped the Dragonlord to overcome his troubling memories.
Arthur sometimes was bothered by the stubborn Great Dragon, but he could not deny that Kilgharrah had played a significant part in making Merlin the mentor Arthur depended on as King of Camelot.
~ * ~
Gwen persuaded Arthur to go with her to an art gallery showing one evening. Lancelot was out of the country on business and she needed someone to accompany her. She didn’t want to go on her own.
She assured him that he would like it. That one of the artists, Elaine White, painted scenes and characters straight out of Arthurian legend.
She thought it would be a bit of a laugh if the two of them showed up with names like theirs.
Arthur had the night free, so he decided to go with her.
It had been almost six months since Merlin and Morgana’s deaths. Arthur’s daughter and her husband had visited him a handful of times during those months. Slowly but surely, Arthur began to work through his past memories and Merlin’s revelations…
Though he missed Merlin and Morgana, Arthur felt things were looking up for him. He would be all right.
At least he still had his daughter and Kilgharrah was quite fond of communicating with Arthur mind-to-mind across a distance (the dragon was stuck in Avalon for the foreseeable future so he wouldn’t fall into the wrong hands again). It was becoming a bit irritating when Arthur was trying to sleep, but admittedly, the contact with the dragon was helpful.
Even if Kilgharrah enjoyed speaking cryptically, giving Arthur headaches. He understood that the dragon missed Merlin, his Dragonlord, as much as Arthur did. So Arthur just let him be.
At the art gallery, Arthur parted ways with Gwen and wandered into the Elaine White paintings section.
He saw one painting of a dragon, its eyes a brilliant gold, and the creature reminded Arthur of Kilgharrah. The resemblance was startling.
But what was even more startling was the hooded figure Arthur could just see in the shadows in the empty space to the right of the dragon.
Arthur was positive that the hooded figure had moved.
Could the figure be…? Could it be Merlin?
“Hello there,” a woman’s voice said behind him.
Arthur turned around to face the woman who had spoken.
She was petite, about his age, and she had curly blonde hair and light brown eyes.
“Sorry, I just wanted to introduce myself…I’m Elaine Quicksilver. I painted all of these,” she said, waving her hand at the paintings along the wall Arthur was looking at.
“Wait - I thought it was Elaine White?”
She smiled. “Oh, that was my agent’s suggestion. She thought ‘Quicksilver’ was too odd-sounding if you could believe that. But it’s really my last name, I assure you,” she said confidently.
He wondered if it was just a fluke that that was her last name or if it really meant she was from the Quicksilver line, that she could be a descendant of Arthur Quicksilver.
“My name is Arthur,” he introduced himself, putting out his hand.
She shook it. “Nice to meet you, Arthur,” Elaine said sincerely.
Arthur pointed to the dragon painting and hoping he wasn’t going to sound crazy, asked her if she had painted a hooded figure in the same painting. He pointed at the spot where he still saw the hooded figure.
Elaine frowned, shaking her head. “No, but I’m not surprised. There are always inexplicable things showing up in my paintings. But, well, you’re the only other person besides me who’s noticed something or someone who shouldn’t be in a painting of mine.”
“What do you see?” Arthur asked her, feeling especially curious now.
Elaine looked uncertain for a moment, but then she seemed to come to a decision and she told him, “A sword…in everything I paint, it’s always there. And I know I didn’t paint the sword in, but without fail, it always shows up. In the sky, on the ground, in the water, it’s there. Considering the subject of my paintings, I would guess the sword would be Excalibur…or maybe I’m just seeing things. Except the pattern has become a normal thing, so I doubt it’s my imagination anymore. I don’t know why I’m even seeing the sword.”
Arthur could only guess this was confirmation as to her being a true Quicksilver, but it was rather startling to encounter her here of all places…at an art gallery showing. It was definitely unexpected.
“Yes, she is,” Kilgharrah suddenly spoke inside his head, “A lot of Quicksilver descendants still around today. It's not uncommon that a good number of his descendants are unaware of Arthur Quicksilver's great feat. In this time, not many truly believe in magic after all.”
“Right. Thanks,” Arthur answered back silently.
He turned back to Elaine. “I -uh - my last name is Pendragon. Not exactly a ‘Smith’ kind of name either.”
She looked amused. Then her brown eyes lit up. “Oh! Since your name is Arthur, maybe you’d like to see the painting I did of King Arthur?” Elaine offered.
Arthur smiled, nodding. “Sure, I’d love to see it.”
~ * ~
When Arthur was twenty in his next life (and the fact that reincarnation was a normal thing for him was still quite startling), he saw Merlin for the first time since he’d witnessed his death in his previous life.
Arthur was home from uni for the summer holiday.
The dark-haired man was sitting on a park bench reading “The Once and Future King” by T.H. White. Richard and Kahlan had visited Arthur a few times in the past year, and so Arthur knew that Merlin was only a few months older than him.
True, both of them still had their past memories and felt older than their outward ages, but Arthur couldn’t believe his luck…that Merlin had been reborn only months before Arthur had. He had remembered his past lives only a year ago, though Arthur learned that Merlin had known for about three years already. It had taken months for Arthur to sort out his past memories and figure out how to proceed with his life from there. Fortunately, Richard and Kahlan’s visits had helped him, provided him with the support he needed (and news from Avalon as well).
And so, it was a year later that Arthur decided to seek out Merlin. And that’s why he was here.
Merlin didn’t look up from his book. So Arthur took the initiative and went over to sit beside Merlin on the wooden bench.
“So…” Arthur began. How in the world should he begin? The two of them hadn’t even had the chance to talk properly (without Merlin being under Confession) about Merlin’s mother being a Confessor and how that one detail affected the Dragonlord’s life in unfortunate ways…
Merlin turned to him, his face politely inquisitive. “I’m sorry, do I know you?”
Arthur looked at him incredulously. “Are you really doing this, Merlin? Kahlan told me you would be here.”
Merlin set his blue eyes on Arthur for a long moment. Seeing something that agreed with him, maybe, Merlin sighed and put his book aside.
“How are you then?” Merlin asked lightly.
“Merlin, I had a lot of time to think about what happened during your Confession. The rest of my last life, I toiled over what to think, how to comprehend everything I’ve learned. Still, I’m grateful that I finally know what you’ve been hiding from me. You can’t change who your mother was, Merlin.”
Merlin shook his head, frowning. “She didn’t order me to kill my own daughter, to kill Morgause… that was my fault. Everyone keeps saying that I should just blame my mother, that I was a victim of my circumstances. But how could you, Arthur? How could you even look at me now knowing that I killed a child, my own flesh and blood once upon a time?”
“I know what it feels like to be scared, Merlin. I was scared, almost fearful even, when Kahlan was born and her power was revealed. But I tried not to let the fear overwhelm me. What good would that do?” He said tiredly, and then he continued on, his tone fervent. “But what happened to you, what your mother did to you…ten long years, Merlin. I could understand that that could have driven you to act rashly. What counts is you learned from your wrongdoing. I could see that you cared for Kahlan despite her being a Confessor. You honestly wanted her to be happy and you did all you could to insure that. She wouldn’t be over the moon with Richard if you hadn’t done your best to find the right man for her. Focus on all the good you did, Merlin. You helped me when I was King…you always tried to do right by people.”
Merlin looked relieved. “Thank you, Arthur. I was just worried…I would understand if you couldn’t bear to look at me. If you don’t feel comfortable around me…”
“Merlin, have you listened to a word I said?” Arthur said in exasperation.
Without another word, Arthur leaned forward and kissed Merlin on the lips.
Merlin gave him an apologetic look after the kiss. “I’m sorry I put all that on you and then died… but I couldn’t bear to see you die. And I wouldn’t be a good Dragonlord if I’d let my dragon die.”
Arthur sighed. “Kahlan told me that you knew that Cara could have saved us, but instead you chose to give up your immortality.”
“I was tired, Arthur. So, so tired,” Merlin emphasized. He combed through his hair, trying to ease the restlessness in his hands. “I needed to do it for myself. I didn’t know if I would be reborn or not, but it had to be done. And you’re important to me, Arthur, and I would give my life for you.”
“You know, most people would just say they love someone over going ahead and dying for them,” Arthur pointed out.
Merlin peered at him, a soft smile on his face. “But we aren’t most people, are we, Your Majesty?”
Arthur sighed. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess not,” he agreed.
“I do have something for you, actually. As an apology, I suppose, for what happened… it’s not much, but,” Merlin paused.
Arthur looked at him expectantly. “What is it?”
Merlin held out his hand. His eyes flashed golden and a gold ring with a shining ruby stone at its center appeared in his palm.
Arthur stared at the ring, not sure what to say, but he certainly couldn’t deny the ring’s beauty.
Merlin looked down at the ring and then looked to Arthur. “There’s an inscription on the inside of the band.”
“Could I see it?” Arthur asked.
Merlin nodded, giving the ring to him. “It’s yours. Do you like it?” he asked uncertainly.
Arthur nodded. “Yes, I do…oh my god,” he breathed out. Upon closer look, Arthur noticed that there was an image within the ruby stone. It was like a snow globe, an image contained inside, and Arthur could see the castle at Camelot reflected in the ruby’s depths. What was more impressive was the moving image of a dragon, Kilgharrah he guessed, flying overhead. It was beautiful.
“You really outdid yourself, didn’t you?” Arthur asked.
Merlin shrugged, grinning at him all the same. “I couldn’t resist doing something a little extra… I hoped you would like it.”
Arthur smiled back at him. “I’m just glad to see you again.”
“As am I,” Merlin said steadily.
And Arthur wanted to kiss him again, but he refrained, however reluctantly.
Merlin shifted closer to him and he pointed out what was etched along the inside of the band.
Arthur squinted a bit before he was able to read the inscription.
The inscription read: For you, I give my heart. Always, Merlin
Arthur read it out loud and looked up at Merlin.
“To a new start, yeah? I want to make the most of this life,” Merlin remarked.
“But what about Nimue?” Arthur wondered. “You were with her for centuries…yes, I know she was your adoptive mother in this life, but still…all those years.”
“Arthur, don’t worry about Nimue. She understands… I just want - I just want to be with you now, okay?”
Arthur took a deep breath and let it out. He nodded. “All right. But if this is only because you’re tired of Nimue or something then…”
Merlin only slipped the ring on Arthur’s finger in response. Then he pulled Arthur toward him and kissed him fiercely on the lips.
“You mean everything to me. Everything. I mean it,” Merlin declared.
“After all these years, we have our chance…” Arthur remarked, still in a bit of disbelief that it was actually happening here and now.
“But it was worth the wait,” Merlin said, smiling.
Arthur had to agree. Maybe patience was a virtue after all, and long waits reaped unexpected rewards…
Then Merlin admitted, “I was still under Confession, you know, when I saved you.”
Arthur looked at him in surprise. “Kahlan told me that you succumbed to the blood rage, that you had lost control of yourself as a result.”
Merlin sighed, rubbing the back of his head. “Yes, that’s true. But still, I remember what I felt then, Arthur. I was still Confessed to Kahlan. She didn’t order me to do what I did. No matter what she had learned about my past, she would never see that as the action to take. That’s why she brought Cara with her, so that she could give the Breath of Life if need be,” he said. “It was all me, Arthur. I chose to do it. Because I loved you,” he said resolutely, his blue eyes bright and vivid as they pierced Arthur’s. “I love you,” he spoke softly this time, emotion choking his words.
Arthur’s mind was swirling. He had always believed that Confession was absolute, and here was Merlin saying that he’d broken through. That he loved Arthur so deeply that he had overcome the power of Confession to save him…it was something out of a Disney movie or a fairytale. It was terribly unreal, but yet, here and now…it was real. And he was so glad to have Merlin by his side again, and this time, this life, they would have their chance.
“But Confession - I thought the love was all-consuming, that only upon death could the enchantment be broken. How did you manage--?” Arthur wondered.
Merlin shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. I must have had a window of opportunity. Or maybe I’m defective,” he said, smiling at the joke. Arthur gave him a wry look. “I suppose, I cared for you enough, loved you enough to break through somehow… lucky that,” he finished, a small smile on his face.
Arthur let out a long sigh, trying to compose himself. “Gods, Merlin. I don’t even know what to say. I just - I’m in love with you and if you ever sacrifice yourself for me again, I will hurt you,” Arthur warned him, looking stern.
Merlin nodded, though he was smiling. “Duly noted.”
When they kissed, Arthur thought he could never top this feeling of pure joy in his heart.
~ * ~
Merlin and Arthur were so caught up in each other that they didn’t see Richard and Kahlan magically appear a few feet away, both carrying ice cream cones.
But that was all right, since the pair didn’t notice them either. They were too swept up in their own conversation and eating ice cream.
Kahlan caught sight of Merlin and Arthur first. She pointed out the two of them to Richard. She smiled, grateful to see them happy together.
“Do you want to stay here, Kahlan?” Richard asked her. “They look like they’re doing fine. We could return to Avalon. You saw your father already,” he reminded her.
Kahlan looked unsure. “I worry about Grandfather, after what he went through…” she remarked, “I don’t know. Maybe we should stay for another day? I want to know how things are between them now. Don’t you?”
Richard nodded. “I’m curious too, I agree. But it might be awkward if they saw us now. We should leave the park before we’re noticed.”
“Yes, I suppose you’re right,” she agreed.
They walked a little further away.
“You know, I can scarcely believe how much Cara, of all people, is enjoying spending time with Kilgharrah. I told her the other day, Richard, that I was positive that she must have been a Dragonlord in another life,” she told him, her lips twisting into a smile at the thought.
“Knowing Cara, she probably was,” Richard remarked, amused.
“You wouldn’t believe what she said in response though.”
“What did she say?”
Kahlan laughed. “She looked at me strangely and told me that if anything, she would have been a dragon, not a Dragonlord.”
“If that’s the case, whoever her Dragonlord was wouldn’t have survived the first night with her,” Richard commented, his tone half serious, half jest.
“The poor soul,” Kahlan said, smiling widely.
They finished their ice cream and Richard extended his arm to her. “My Lady,” he said, smiling.
“My love,” Kahlan replied softly, slipping her arm through his.
Then the two of them disappeared.
~ * ~
Final Notes: The character Morgaine (Merlin's childhood friend, Nimue's mother) was loosely based off the character, Kara, from the movie "Dragonheart." They both had red hair and strong, determined personalities. I just wanted to do a tribute to Kara's character in some small way (she was the heroine of the movie).
More Excalibur backstory: Not long before her death Morgaine (as mentioned in the story, she was a Seer) had a vision that Merlin would discover, one day, as to who the true wielder of Excalibur was. So Arthur (Quicksilver), her husband and the one who crafted Excalibur, summoned Merlin when he was near death to relay the message to Merlin. And also, to give Excalibur to Merlin for safekeeping and one day, he would make sure the right person receives it. Merlin let the Lady of the Lake (a position held by different women over the years, so it wasn't Viviane at the time, but another woman) have the responsibility of taking care of the sword...and Merlin would return one day with the true wielder (Arthur Pendragon, of course).
It is uncertain whether or not Merlin visited Morgaine before her death...after Kilgharrah chose him. Merlin could have conceivably returned to see his old friends again. I'd like to think he would have (and maybe given her a ride on Kilgharrah), but that may be one secret Merlin will never tell.
“I thought you would like this portrait. It was a group picture. Everyone is in here - Grandfather, Grandmother, Mother, you, Aunt Viviane, and me, of course. I was five, remember?” Kahlan asked him, smiling as she unveiled the large portrait. She set it down on the table. The picture was so big that it would most certainly take up half the height of the wall.
Arthur recognized the painting - it had been one of the few paintings done of all of them, and Kahlan had fidgeted the whole time during the painter’s session. What made the portrait even more striking was that it was a moving portrait, a spell that Merlin and Nimue had devised to give life to the picture.
So there was Merlin and Nimue standing beside one another at the far left of the painting, Merlin smiling congenially and Nimue with her usual, “I’m up to something” smirk. On Morgana’s left was her older sister Viviane. She was wearing a flowing pale blue dress, which seemed to turn into water at the edges of the dress. She curtsied, her pose graceful and self-assured. Arthur remembered that Viviane was always more of a traditionalist in how she acted. She took her duty as the Lady of the Lake very seriously, and with as much heart and passion as Arthur took to ruling Camelot and her people.
Seated in an intricately carved chair in the center was Morgana. She was wearing a deep blue dress and a five-year-old Kahlan sat in her lap. Kahlan looked bored, more ready to play rather than sit still. Morgana held her still, gently admonishing her for fidgeting. Kahlan turned her head forward, a frown on her face. Then she blew a kiss in the unseen painter’s direction, giggling afterwards, and went about playing with the golden trim on her dress.
Arthur himself was standing to the right of Morgana, his hand resting on the back of her chair. He had a firm expression on his face, every inch the King, and his other hand gripped the hilt of Excalibur. The sword’s tip touched the stone ground. But despite his firm, serious look, Arthur did glance at his daughter every so often, a warm, fond expression in his eyes as he observed her antics. Morgana looked up at Arthur and smiled knowingly at him.
All together, it was truly a beautiful portrait. Arthur felt honoured to be given the portrait to keep.
“I love it. Thank you,” Arthur said appreciatively.
Kahlan smiled at him. “It’s the least I can do. It’s always nice to have reminders of the past.”
Arthur nodded, his gaze drifting to Merlin’s smiling face, his former mentor waving his hand briefly.
How Merlin could have still found happiness in life after his ordeal, Arthur could scarcely imagine. Maybe his many years of living forced Merlin to deal with his conflicted past and move on, doggedly, but still with his best effort.
Or it was as Merlin had said: his bond with his dragon had helped the Dragonlord to overcome his troubling memories.
Arthur sometimes was bothered by the stubborn Great Dragon, but he could not deny that Kilgharrah had played a significant part in making Merlin the mentor Arthur depended on as King of Camelot.
~ * ~
Gwen persuaded Arthur to go with her to an art gallery showing one evening. Lancelot was out of the country on business and she needed someone to accompany her. She didn’t want to go on her own.
She assured him that he would like it. That one of the artists, Elaine White, painted scenes and characters straight out of Arthurian legend.
She thought it would be a bit of a laugh if the two of them showed up with names like theirs.
Arthur had the night free, so he decided to go with her.
It had been almost six months since Merlin and Morgana’s deaths. Arthur’s daughter and her husband had visited him a handful of times during those months. Slowly but surely, Arthur began to work through his past memories and Merlin’s revelations…
Though he missed Merlin and Morgana, Arthur felt things were looking up for him. He would be all right.
At least he still had his daughter and Kilgharrah was quite fond of communicating with Arthur mind-to-mind across a distance (the dragon was stuck in Avalon for the foreseeable future so he wouldn’t fall into the wrong hands again). It was becoming a bit irritating when Arthur was trying to sleep, but admittedly, the contact with the dragon was helpful.
Even if Kilgharrah enjoyed speaking cryptically, giving Arthur headaches. He understood that the dragon missed Merlin, his Dragonlord, as much as Arthur did. So Arthur just let him be.
At the art gallery, Arthur parted ways with Gwen and wandered into the Elaine White paintings section.
He saw one painting of a dragon, its eyes a brilliant gold, and the creature reminded Arthur of Kilgharrah. The resemblance was startling.
But what was even more startling was the hooded figure Arthur could just see in the shadows in the empty space to the right of the dragon.
Arthur was positive that the hooded figure had moved.
Could the figure be…? Could it be Merlin?
“Hello there,” a woman’s voice said behind him.
Arthur turned around to face the woman who had spoken.
She was petite, about his age, and she had curly blonde hair and light brown eyes.
“Sorry, I just wanted to introduce myself…I’m Elaine Quicksilver. I painted all of these,” she said, waving her hand at the paintings along the wall Arthur was looking at.
“Wait - I thought it was Elaine White?”
She smiled. “Oh, that was my agent’s suggestion. She thought ‘Quicksilver’ was too odd-sounding if you could believe that. But it’s really my last name, I assure you,” she said confidently.
He wondered if it was just a fluke that that was her last name or if it really meant she was from the Quicksilver line, that she could be a descendant of Arthur Quicksilver.
“My name is Arthur,” he introduced himself, putting out his hand.
She shook it. “Nice to meet you, Arthur,” Elaine said sincerely.
Arthur pointed to the dragon painting and hoping he wasn’t going to sound crazy, asked her if she had painted a hooded figure in the same painting. He pointed at the spot where he still saw the hooded figure.
Elaine frowned, shaking her head. “No, but I’m not surprised. There are always inexplicable things showing up in my paintings. But, well, you’re the only other person besides me who’s noticed something or someone who shouldn’t be in a painting of mine.”
“What do you see?” Arthur asked her, feeling especially curious now.
Elaine looked uncertain for a moment, but then she seemed to come to a decision and she told him, “A sword…in everything I paint, it’s always there. And I know I didn’t paint the sword in, but without fail, it always shows up. In the sky, on the ground, in the water, it’s there. Considering the subject of my paintings, I would guess the sword would be Excalibur…or maybe I’m just seeing things. Except the pattern has become a normal thing, so I doubt it’s my imagination anymore. I don’t know why I’m even seeing the sword.”
Arthur could only guess this was confirmation as to her being a true Quicksilver, but it was rather startling to encounter her here of all places…at an art gallery showing. It was definitely unexpected.
“Yes, she is,” Kilgharrah suddenly spoke inside his head, “A lot of Quicksilver descendants still around today. It's not uncommon that a good number of his descendants are unaware of Arthur Quicksilver's great feat. In this time, not many truly believe in magic after all.”
“Right. Thanks,” Arthur answered back silently.
He turned back to Elaine. “I -uh - my last name is Pendragon. Not exactly a ‘Smith’ kind of name either.”
She looked amused. Then her brown eyes lit up. “Oh! Since your name is Arthur, maybe you’d like to see the painting I did of King Arthur?” Elaine offered.
Arthur smiled, nodding. “Sure, I’d love to see it.”
~ * ~
When Arthur was twenty in his next life (and the fact that reincarnation was a normal thing for him was still quite startling), he saw Merlin for the first time since he’d witnessed his death in his previous life.
Arthur was home from uni for the summer holiday.
The dark-haired man was sitting on a park bench reading “The Once and Future King” by T.H. White. Richard and Kahlan had visited Arthur a few times in the past year, and so Arthur knew that Merlin was only a few months older than him.
True, both of them still had their past memories and felt older than their outward ages, but Arthur couldn’t believe his luck…that Merlin had been reborn only months before Arthur had. He had remembered his past lives only a year ago, though Arthur learned that Merlin had known for about three years already. It had taken months for Arthur to sort out his past memories and figure out how to proceed with his life from there. Fortunately, Richard and Kahlan’s visits had helped him, provided him with the support he needed (and news from Avalon as well).
And so, it was a year later that Arthur decided to seek out Merlin. And that’s why he was here.
Merlin didn’t look up from his book. So Arthur took the initiative and went over to sit beside Merlin on the wooden bench.
“So…” Arthur began. How in the world should he begin? The two of them hadn’t even had the chance to talk properly (without Merlin being under Confession) about Merlin’s mother being a Confessor and how that one detail affected the Dragonlord’s life in unfortunate ways…
Merlin turned to him, his face politely inquisitive. “I’m sorry, do I know you?”
Arthur looked at him incredulously. “Are you really doing this, Merlin? Kahlan told me you would be here.”
Merlin set his blue eyes on Arthur for a long moment. Seeing something that agreed with him, maybe, Merlin sighed and put his book aside.
“How are you then?” Merlin asked lightly.
“Merlin, I had a lot of time to think about what happened during your Confession. The rest of my last life, I toiled over what to think, how to comprehend everything I’ve learned. Still, I’m grateful that I finally know what you’ve been hiding from me. You can’t change who your mother was, Merlin.”
Merlin shook his head, frowning. “She didn’t order me to kill my own daughter, to kill Morgause… that was my fault. Everyone keeps saying that I should just blame my mother, that I was a victim of my circumstances. But how could you, Arthur? How could you even look at me now knowing that I killed a child, my own flesh and blood once upon a time?”
“I know what it feels like to be scared, Merlin. I was scared, almost fearful even, when Kahlan was born and her power was revealed. But I tried not to let the fear overwhelm me. What good would that do?” He said tiredly, and then he continued on, his tone fervent. “But what happened to you, what your mother did to you…ten long years, Merlin. I could understand that that could have driven you to act rashly. What counts is you learned from your wrongdoing. I could see that you cared for Kahlan despite her being a Confessor. You honestly wanted her to be happy and you did all you could to insure that. She wouldn’t be over the moon with Richard if you hadn’t done your best to find the right man for her. Focus on all the good you did, Merlin. You helped me when I was King…you always tried to do right by people.”
Merlin looked relieved. “Thank you, Arthur. I was just worried…I would understand if you couldn’t bear to look at me. If you don’t feel comfortable around me…”
“Merlin, have you listened to a word I said?” Arthur said in exasperation.
Without another word, Arthur leaned forward and kissed Merlin on the lips.
Merlin gave him an apologetic look after the kiss. “I’m sorry I put all that on you and then died… but I couldn’t bear to see you die. And I wouldn’t be a good Dragonlord if I’d let my dragon die.”
Arthur sighed. “Kahlan told me that you knew that Cara could have saved us, but instead you chose to give up your immortality.”
“I was tired, Arthur. So, so tired,” Merlin emphasized. He combed through his hair, trying to ease the restlessness in his hands. “I needed to do it for myself. I didn’t know if I would be reborn or not, but it had to be done. And you’re important to me, Arthur, and I would give my life for you.”
“You know, most people would just say they love someone over going ahead and dying for them,” Arthur pointed out.
Merlin peered at him, a soft smile on his face. “But we aren’t most people, are we, Your Majesty?”
Arthur sighed. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess not,” he agreed.
“I do have something for you, actually. As an apology, I suppose, for what happened… it’s not much, but,” Merlin paused.
Arthur looked at him expectantly. “What is it?”
Merlin held out his hand. His eyes flashed golden and a gold ring with a shining ruby stone at its center appeared in his palm.
Arthur stared at the ring, not sure what to say, but he certainly couldn’t deny the ring’s beauty.
Merlin looked down at the ring and then looked to Arthur. “There’s an inscription on the inside of the band.”
“Could I see it?” Arthur asked.
Merlin nodded, giving the ring to him. “It’s yours. Do you like it?” he asked uncertainly.
Arthur nodded. “Yes, I do…oh my god,” he breathed out. Upon closer look, Arthur noticed that there was an image within the ruby stone. It was like a snow globe, an image contained inside, and Arthur could see the castle at Camelot reflected in the ruby’s depths. What was more impressive was the moving image of a dragon, Kilgharrah he guessed, flying overhead. It was beautiful.
“You really outdid yourself, didn’t you?” Arthur asked.
Merlin shrugged, grinning at him all the same. “I couldn’t resist doing something a little extra… I hoped you would like it.”
Arthur smiled back at him. “I’m just glad to see you again.”
“As am I,” Merlin said steadily.
And Arthur wanted to kiss him again, but he refrained, however reluctantly.
Merlin shifted closer to him and he pointed out what was etched along the inside of the band.
Arthur squinted a bit before he was able to read the inscription.
The inscription read: For you, I give my heart. Always, Merlin
Arthur read it out loud and looked up at Merlin.
“To a new start, yeah? I want to make the most of this life,” Merlin remarked.
“But what about Nimue?” Arthur wondered. “You were with her for centuries…yes, I know she was your adoptive mother in this life, but still…all those years.”
“Arthur, don’t worry about Nimue. She understands… I just want - I just want to be with you now, okay?”
Arthur took a deep breath and let it out. He nodded. “All right. But if this is only because you’re tired of Nimue or something then…”
Merlin only slipped the ring on Arthur’s finger in response. Then he pulled Arthur toward him and kissed him fiercely on the lips.
“You mean everything to me. Everything. I mean it,” Merlin declared.
“After all these years, we have our chance…” Arthur remarked, still in a bit of disbelief that it was actually happening here and now.
“But it was worth the wait,” Merlin said, smiling.
Arthur had to agree. Maybe patience was a virtue after all, and long waits reaped unexpected rewards…
Then Merlin admitted, “I was still under Confession, you know, when I saved you.”
Arthur looked at him in surprise. “Kahlan told me that you succumbed to the blood rage, that you had lost control of yourself as a result.”
Merlin sighed, rubbing the back of his head. “Yes, that’s true. But still, I remember what I felt then, Arthur. I was still Confessed to Kahlan. She didn’t order me to do what I did. No matter what she had learned about my past, she would never see that as the action to take. That’s why she brought Cara with her, so that she could give the Breath of Life if need be,” he said. “It was all me, Arthur. I chose to do it. Because I loved you,” he said resolutely, his blue eyes bright and vivid as they pierced Arthur’s. “I love you,” he spoke softly this time, emotion choking his words.
Arthur’s mind was swirling. He had always believed that Confession was absolute, and here was Merlin saying that he’d broken through. That he loved Arthur so deeply that he had overcome the power of Confession to save him…it was something out of a Disney movie or a fairytale. It was terribly unreal, but yet, here and now…it was real. And he was so glad to have Merlin by his side again, and this time, this life, they would have their chance.
“But Confession - I thought the love was all-consuming, that only upon death could the enchantment be broken. How did you manage--?” Arthur wondered.
Merlin shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. I must have had a window of opportunity. Or maybe I’m defective,” he said, smiling at the joke. Arthur gave him a wry look. “I suppose, I cared for you enough, loved you enough to break through somehow… lucky that,” he finished, a small smile on his face.
Arthur let out a long sigh, trying to compose himself. “Gods, Merlin. I don’t even know what to say. I just - I’m in love with you and if you ever sacrifice yourself for me again, I will hurt you,” Arthur warned him, looking stern.
Merlin nodded, though he was smiling. “Duly noted.”
When they kissed, Arthur thought he could never top this feeling of pure joy in his heart.
~ * ~
Merlin and Arthur were so caught up in each other that they didn’t see Richard and Kahlan magically appear a few feet away, both carrying ice cream cones.
But that was all right, since the pair didn’t notice them either. They were too swept up in their own conversation and eating ice cream.
Kahlan caught sight of Merlin and Arthur first. She pointed out the two of them to Richard. She smiled, grateful to see them happy together.
“Do you want to stay here, Kahlan?” Richard asked her. “They look like they’re doing fine. We could return to Avalon. You saw your father already,” he reminded her.
Kahlan looked unsure. “I worry about Grandfather, after what he went through…” she remarked, “I don’t know. Maybe we should stay for another day? I want to know how things are between them now. Don’t you?”
Richard nodded. “I’m curious too, I agree. But it might be awkward if they saw us now. We should leave the park before we’re noticed.”
“Yes, I suppose you’re right,” she agreed.
They walked a little further away.
“You know, I can scarcely believe how much Cara, of all people, is enjoying spending time with Kilgharrah. I told her the other day, Richard, that I was positive that she must have been a Dragonlord in another life,” she told him, her lips twisting into a smile at the thought.
“Knowing Cara, she probably was,” Richard remarked, amused.
“You wouldn’t believe what she said in response though.”
“What did she say?”
Kahlan laughed. “She looked at me strangely and told me that if anything, she would have been a dragon, not a Dragonlord.”
“If that’s the case, whoever her Dragonlord was wouldn’t have survived the first night with her,” Richard commented, his tone half serious, half jest.
“The poor soul,” Kahlan said, smiling widely.
They finished their ice cream and Richard extended his arm to her. “My Lady,” he said, smiling.
“My love,” Kahlan replied softly, slipping her arm through his.
Then the two of them disappeared.
~ * ~
Final Notes: The character Morgaine (Merlin's childhood friend, Nimue's mother) was loosely based off the character, Kara, from the movie "Dragonheart." They both had red hair and strong, determined personalities. I just wanted to do a tribute to Kara's character in some small way (she was the heroine of the movie).
More Excalibur backstory: Not long before her death Morgaine (as mentioned in the story, she was a Seer) had a vision that Merlin would discover, one day, as to who the true wielder of Excalibur was. So Arthur (Quicksilver), her husband and the one who crafted Excalibur, summoned Merlin when he was near death to relay the message to Merlin. And also, to give Excalibur to Merlin for safekeeping and one day, he would make sure the right person receives it. Merlin let the Lady of the Lake (a position held by different women over the years, so it wasn't Viviane at the time, but another woman) have the responsibility of taking care of the sword...and Merlin would return one day with the true wielder (Arthur Pendragon, of course).
It is uncertain whether or not Merlin visited Morgaine before her death...after Kilgharrah chose him. Merlin could have conceivably returned to see his old friends again. I'd like to think he would have (and maybe given her a ride on Kilgharrah), but that may be one secret Merlin will never tell.