Hellloooo 09 Goooodbye 2008
So 2008 I was pregnant for 6 months and then I raised my child for the rest of the year. Children change everything about a person. You always hear that, but never really realize how true this is till its already happened. Am I thankful to be a mother? I suppose I am. I love my son. Things have been rocky between Cory and I. In a way we are trying to work through it, but right now I guess I'm not feeling very optimistic. He has decided he is not going to look for a job and remain working on his dad's farm. This does not make me happy at all. He basically gets whatever we ask for to pay for bills and that is it. That is no way to live. That is not how I want to live. This was supposed to be temporary. Everything I comment on he takes as criticism and claims that I don't approve of anything he does. Maybe if he started being more like a responsible adult and not some irresponsible teenager I would :) Unfortunately that is a lot like how he acts. He justifies his actions as he is doing so much better then he was years ago. That does not make him responsible. A responsible adult would be working a steady job bringing in income to allow us to be able to no longer live off of the state. I hate being so dependant on someone else. Honestly once the spring semester is over I'll be switching to school part-time and get some part-time night waitress job or something. Cory feels like I spend all my time on the internet and yes I do spend too much time on the internet, but frankly that is my escape from what is making me feel depressed & stressed :( I don't know how to make this relationship work. We are both stubborn people and I don't know if there is any way to compromise here. Blarg. For 2009 I need to get my shit together health, relationship, and school wise :\ Tricky business.