Update while waiting for my socks to dry...
I was sitting around watching biographies of business online and I started to think about my story. What would lead up to my climax? Had I already reached it?
There are moments of triumph and moments of despair, then out of no where the elusive genius strikes. I feel like I am always staring at the sky waiting for it to strike.
The last month has made me feel a little less important, a little less forward thinking. Its been a year of loss, much of it out of my control, some of it by my hand of course.
For so long I’ve denied having feelings and being weak but the last month has proven me wrong. I feel so out of sorts and useless to so many people. I tried to pull it all together, unfortunately I feel like it wasn’t good enough. I’m glad those around me are forgiving.
I have the next few days off. I thought it best to clear my head before going back for the new year. A few days to be with my mom, write a few chapters, read, and hang out with the little ones. I need time to prioritize and gain composure. I haven’t felt this drone like in years.
I have so many things in my head that need to be put to paper. I need to get back into the swing of things at the gym. I need to do more art. These are not resolutions… I don’t do those… just things on my to do list.
There are some things that are better. Like migraines, I have gone weeks with out them and haven’t taken anything serious for them in a while. Since surgery last year my back is not nearly as tight or strained. Last week I felt out of wack but was all good after some rest and stretching. Sure my insides are doing whatever it is that they’ve always done but I feel like I am alive. To me… that’s great !
I am now single. After 4 years Julian decided that we part ways. We’re still great friends but we’re no longer an item. I didn’t think it would be as different as it feels but that much history doesn’t just go away. This person is not only familiar but is the only person I feel like I know. Its going to be a weird transition but its whats best for now.
Grad classes are going well. My group is burned out already but we have a few days off so I am hoping a new group and a new subject will give us all the leg up we need. We’ve started to deal with consumer internal thought processes, this is where I enjoy learning about marketing. This is where I find the whole thing silly. Why would people fall for advertising when they know its an attempt to get their money. I love learning about it, I love trying it out. This next class, Communication Research looks promising. I heart my text book already !
Things at work are going well. At least as far as my professional goals. Last year I wanted to:
Communicate more openly and accurately with tenants
Build a better filing system to aid in reporting
Establish clearly defined deadlines for improvements
I think I improved in all areas. I met a few deadlines as far as learning our reporting system and how to run reports. Im actually getting good at our accounting program… hot dog… Im not stupid !
Working in retail is rough right now but I understand the importance of it and I know what I do is some one else’s livelihood. I feel like I’ve failed them a bit this season between my personal problems and the over all mood of the joint but most of them were troopers and hopefully they know how much I care.
My house is empty… again. Being a landlord is the pits! I never thought when I started I would hate that place as much as I do. Driving by it… I want to egg my own property. Its like a giant teenager, it always wants money, something is always wrong and its never clean. If I could find an elderly section 8 neat freak tenant I would give them rent to live there. I just wish some one would take care of it like I take care of my things. No bug, no booze, no pitbulls… simple :p
So as I sit here on the day after Christmas, stuff all over the place and pictures of my family and friends stacked in neat piles. I am thankful for the progress I’ve made…
…if only I could drop another 40 pounds J
There are moments of triumph and moments of despair, then out of no where the elusive genius strikes. I feel like I am always staring at the sky waiting for it to strike.
The last month has made me feel a little less important, a little less forward thinking. Its been a year of loss, much of it out of my control, some of it by my hand of course.
For so long I’ve denied having feelings and being weak but the last month has proven me wrong. I feel so out of sorts and useless to so many people. I tried to pull it all together, unfortunately I feel like it wasn’t good enough. I’m glad those around me are forgiving.
I have the next few days off. I thought it best to clear my head before going back for the new year. A few days to be with my mom, write a few chapters, read, and hang out with the little ones. I need time to prioritize and gain composure. I haven’t felt this drone like in years.
I have so many things in my head that need to be put to paper. I need to get back into the swing of things at the gym. I need to do more art. These are not resolutions… I don’t do those… just things on my to do list.
There are some things that are better. Like migraines, I have gone weeks with out them and haven’t taken anything serious for them in a while. Since surgery last year my back is not nearly as tight or strained. Last week I felt out of wack but was all good after some rest and stretching. Sure my insides are doing whatever it is that they’ve always done but I feel like I am alive. To me… that’s great !
I am now single. After 4 years Julian decided that we part ways. We’re still great friends but we’re no longer an item. I didn’t think it would be as different as it feels but that much history doesn’t just go away. This person is not only familiar but is the only person I feel like I know. Its going to be a weird transition but its whats best for now.
Grad classes are going well. My group is burned out already but we have a few days off so I am hoping a new group and a new subject will give us all the leg up we need. We’ve started to deal with consumer internal thought processes, this is where I enjoy learning about marketing. This is where I find the whole thing silly. Why would people fall for advertising when they know its an attempt to get their money. I love learning about it, I love trying it out. This next class, Communication Research looks promising. I heart my text book already !
Things at work are going well. At least as far as my professional goals. Last year I wanted to:
Communicate more openly and accurately with tenants
Build a better filing system to aid in reporting
Establish clearly defined deadlines for improvements
I think I improved in all areas. I met a few deadlines as far as learning our reporting system and how to run reports. Im actually getting good at our accounting program… hot dog… Im not stupid !
Working in retail is rough right now but I understand the importance of it and I know what I do is some one else’s livelihood. I feel like I’ve failed them a bit this season between my personal problems and the over all mood of the joint but most of them were troopers and hopefully they know how much I care.
My house is empty… again. Being a landlord is the pits! I never thought when I started I would hate that place as much as I do. Driving by it… I want to egg my own property. Its like a giant teenager, it always wants money, something is always wrong and its never clean. If I could find an elderly section 8 neat freak tenant I would give them rent to live there. I just wish some one would take care of it like I take care of my things. No bug, no booze, no pitbulls… simple :p
So as I sit here on the day after Christmas, stuff all over the place and pictures of my family and friends stacked in neat piles. I am thankful for the progress I’ve made…
…if only I could drop another 40 pounds J