Move along... nothing to see here... except potential.
So I get home after a long day of hanging out in Ypsi-tucky and check all of my emails and of course get more "to-dos" for Grad school. A wave of fierce terror has run through my veins... I am not ready for another mountain.
It come in waves... the anxiety and fear. I'm not one of those people that can sit in the shallow end and let the little waves calm them. My big ass is WAY out in deadliest catch type waves challenging the Gods. I was told in middle school that I came from nothing and I would turn out to be nothing. I was told the same thing in high school. During that time I would strive to do the opposite because I wanted to prove them wrong and be an ass. Now I'm out there on my own motivation and its hard to keep up.
Ive done all the things Ive read other successful born trash do to break out of lower class. I read books about Warren Buffet, Oprah, I hang out with people that are forward moving, capable, innovative, caring, intelligent and open minded. I don't do drugs. I hardly drink. I fixed most of my teeth and wear a bra. I still however have those trashy moments when I want to fight some one for staring or give up on my professional dreams and get knocked up and get "assistance"...btw its not assistance if its completely supporting you.
I have a desire in me to help. It comes from my mother. She does the same thing. Gives until her body gives out and she's too tired to do much more. We martyr ourselves as a way of paying where we come from for what we have. No matter how little is in our pocket... its not supposed to be there. At least that's how I look at it.
Everything is a mountain. I put so much emphasis on perfection and execution, that it all turns into an "up". Something that has to be climbed, chipped away at, maneuvered. My goal with the next chapters in my life are to make those ups turn into paths. Just a continuance of the last thing I was doing.
So next week I will find renters for my rental property, order supplies for Grad School,begin outpatient weight management, finish a few websites, set up appointment with broker, shoot a few commercial projects, read 2 books and not drink more than one red bull a day, go on a southern adventure... all before Thursday.
I repeat... its just a path... not a mountain.
It come in waves... the anxiety and fear. I'm not one of those people that can sit in the shallow end and let the little waves calm them. My big ass is WAY out in deadliest catch type waves challenging the Gods. I was told in middle school that I came from nothing and I would turn out to be nothing. I was told the same thing in high school. During that time I would strive to do the opposite because I wanted to prove them wrong and be an ass. Now I'm out there on my own motivation and its hard to keep up.
Ive done all the things Ive read other successful born trash do to break out of lower class. I read books about Warren Buffet, Oprah, I hang out with people that are forward moving, capable, innovative, caring, intelligent and open minded. I don't do drugs. I hardly drink. I fixed most of my teeth and wear a bra. I still however have those trashy moments when I want to fight some one for staring or give up on my professional dreams and get knocked up and get "assistance"...btw its not assistance if its completely supporting you.
I have a desire in me to help. It comes from my mother. She does the same thing. Gives until her body gives out and she's too tired to do much more. We martyr ourselves as a way of paying where we come from for what we have. No matter how little is in our pocket... its not supposed to be there. At least that's how I look at it.
Everything is a mountain. I put so much emphasis on perfection and execution, that it all turns into an "up". Something that has to be climbed, chipped away at, maneuvered. My goal with the next chapters in my life are to make those ups turn into paths. Just a continuance of the last thing I was doing.
So next week I will find renters for my rental property, order supplies for Grad School,begin outpatient weight management, finish a few websites, set up appointment with broker, shoot a few commercial projects, read 2 books and not drink more than one red bull a day, go on a southern adventure... all before Thursday.
I repeat... its just a path... not a mountain.