Captain Nemo Helms My Ship
My fellow fetishists, whilst the shipping wars are waged above us, let us be thankful that here beneath the waves we are immune from being sunk.
Never will JKR:
Tell us that Draco is not aroused at the sight of a woman's pair of strappy stiletto heels.
Pretend that Sirius enjoys sex only in the missionary position.
Insinuate that Dumbledore has never done heroin.
Categorically state that Snape would not rape Harry, even if the right conditions presented themselves.
Insist that Tonks does not have a thing for Japanese rope bondage.
Suggest that Hermione finds the idea of fisting abhorrent.
Reveal in an interview that she thinks anyone who believes Lucius has a balloon-popping fetish is delusional.
Welcome to the fringes of fandom, where nobody knows you exist! And thank God for it!!!
And thank you, JKR, for confirming my thoughts on Stan Shunpike in your remarkable book!
Never will JKR:
Tell us that Draco is not aroused at the sight of a woman's pair of strappy stiletto heels.
Pretend that Sirius enjoys sex only in the missionary position.
Insinuate that Dumbledore has never done heroin.
Categorically state that Snape would not rape Harry, even if the right conditions presented themselves.
Insist that Tonks does not have a thing for Japanese rope bondage.
Suggest that Hermione finds the idea of fisting abhorrent.
Reveal in an interview that she thinks anyone who believes Lucius has a balloon-popping fetish is delusional.
Welcome to the fringes of fandom, where nobody knows you exist! And thank God for it!!!
And thank you, JKR, for confirming my thoughts on Stan Shunpike in your remarkable book!