You only live twice or so it seems, One life for yourself and one for your dreams...
I had a dream last night. well, it was more like a nightmare. Not like a scary monster nightmare where I get chased and murdered or anything, not that sort of nightmare, but a 'this could happen, this could be my reality' nightmare. and it got me thinking about all sorts of things. The reason why I call it a nightmare, is because even though it could happen, I wouldn't want that for myself, or for the other involved. That's not where I would want my life headed, in that direction. at least in that fashion. So where is it that I want my life to go? I have hopes and dreams and I'm only getting older from here on out. The way it always seems to go is once you hit 21, you just keep getting older and older from there, obviously. Less than 5 months and I'm 21. i'm not a kid anymore, although sometimes i still want to be or still act like it. Is what i'm doing now going to bring me closer to where I want to go? I got a ticket yesterday. so upseting. Things such as that and last nights disturbance could easily interrupt things. upset them alittle or totally change the pattern and direction of what is at progress.
I wanted to hang out with Shannon today, but now that I'm home and no one else is, I kind of want to be alone. No offense. I've got quite a bit of stuff to do up in my room. Put up selves and sort through boxes. I want to draw today too. I hope my mom is gone all day, I really don't feel like getting into a fight. As I was pulling into our subdivision, in my head I was playing a scenerio that couldof happened only 5 minutes into the future, of how I would walk into the house all bouncy and happy so that she wouldn't question my state. (i never showered this afternoon when I woke up) but she wasn't home, no one was. Thank God. And Matt's ranger is parked in front of our house. I wonder how much sleep he got and if he'll be able to be productive today. We've got to get responsible about those late nights and your early mornings. Last night is was almost 4am.
okay this post is getting long. and my voicemail is ringing. I better go check that.
I wanted to hang out with Shannon today, but now that I'm home and no one else is, I kind of want to be alone. No offense. I've got quite a bit of stuff to do up in my room. Put up selves and sort through boxes. I want to draw today too. I hope my mom is gone all day, I really don't feel like getting into a fight. As I was pulling into our subdivision, in my head I was playing a scenerio that couldof happened only 5 minutes into the future, of how I would walk into the house all bouncy and happy so that she wouldn't question my state. (i never showered this afternoon when I woke up) but she wasn't home, no one was. Thank God. And Matt's ranger is parked in front of our house. I wonder how much sleep he got and if he'll be able to be productive today. We've got to get responsible about those late nights and your early mornings. Last night is was almost 4am.
okay this post is getting long. and my voicemail is ringing. I better go check that.