Here I am
I am in an interesting mood this morning, to say the very least. I've been coping with some anxiety over the last few weeks. I'm in a relationship now and I suppose anxiety, among other things, is a common feeling.
As a relationship develops people foster greater feelings and emotions for each-other. For the most part, I am a big believer of satisfying this bubble of emotion through simply telling my significant other. As this relationship is well underway, I can't help but think back to it's beginnings. Because I was on "fresh-feet", my emotions didn't quite normalize as fast or as fully as one would hope. She was delightful, energetic, and into me. I maintained my distance and responded tepidly to her energetic embrace and flirtatious behavior.
Now I feel as if I have discounted her feelings in such a way, that whatever she felt is moot or perhaps non-existent. There is a significant shift of energy from one onto the other. I'm bursting at the seams, yet it seems as if she's passively dismissing these feelings as ordinary affection or over-excitement.
Onto my second and final thought. The ex-boyfriend; what is the story behind this past relationship? I rarely engage the topic of former relationships, however I can't help myself. "As good as married" is my understanding of her previous engagement. Here I am in a relationship with the very same girl only 4-5 months later. How should I feel? How do I approach this?
Here is my issue, not that she had a wonderful relationship and that it ended suddenly, but the fact that she openly speaks of this relationship and I know so little of it. Aside from this point is the subject of why she overlays this conversation with disdain over her parent's unrest regarding her previous relationship as well as her current. If the past is the past, why can we not leave it at that?
I'm falling in love, plain and simple. I'm stumbling for words, catching my breath, losing sleep, and thinking of her every day. If an ideal world exists, she would be part of it. I've dated over the last year and change, I've found not a single individual personality that fits as well as she.
Yet I fear if I tell her all of this, to the hills she will run.
As a relationship develops people foster greater feelings and emotions for each-other. For the most part, I am a big believer of satisfying this bubble of emotion through simply telling my significant other. As this relationship is well underway, I can't help but think back to it's beginnings. Because I was on "fresh-feet", my emotions didn't quite normalize as fast or as fully as one would hope. She was delightful, energetic, and into me. I maintained my distance and responded tepidly to her energetic embrace and flirtatious behavior.
Now I feel as if I have discounted her feelings in such a way, that whatever she felt is moot or perhaps non-existent. There is a significant shift of energy from one onto the other. I'm bursting at the seams, yet it seems as if she's passively dismissing these feelings as ordinary affection or over-excitement.
Onto my second and final thought. The ex-boyfriend; what is the story behind this past relationship? I rarely engage the topic of former relationships, however I can't help myself. "As good as married" is my understanding of her previous engagement. Here I am in a relationship with the very same girl only 4-5 months later. How should I feel? How do I approach this?
Here is my issue, not that she had a wonderful relationship and that it ended suddenly, but the fact that she openly speaks of this relationship and I know so little of it. Aside from this point is the subject of why she overlays this conversation with disdain over her parent's unrest regarding her previous relationship as well as her current. If the past is the past, why can we not leave it at that?
I'm falling in love, plain and simple. I'm stumbling for words, catching my breath, losing sleep, and thinking of her every day. If an ideal world exists, she would be part of it. I've dated over the last year and change, I've found not a single individual personality that fits as well as she.
Yet I fear if I tell her all of this, to the hills she will run.