Long time no update

[djpopn]

Yeah, so I decided that maybe it was time to start writing again. I usually do it when I am sad or emotional, and that pretty much describes me right now. I feel so alone, I mean, I have great friends, they all care about me and want me to be successful, but I'm not the kind of person who is successful just because of friends support. I had become numb to the loneliness, and I was doing alright with it, until a little more than a week ago. I met a wonderful girl who touched my heart like nobody has done in a long time. I've had simple crushes, and girls that I have dated, but they have all had something about them that annoyed me or made me not want ot be around them, but this girl was way more than anything I had ever expected to come across. I fel tlike we bonded very quickly, and we started dating. I was quite possibly the happiest guy at VCU. I thought everything was going well, we spent so much time together last week, I came to realize I couldn't possibly get sick of this girl. The reality came ot me on sunday when I was turned loose. Our feelings weren't mutual. She is so happy being around me also, but she doesn't feel the emotional attatchment that I do to her. Today she came over and we watched the Phantom of the Opera, and we spent the whole time cuddling and kissing (among other things), but I still feel the same about her. The ending to Phantom always makes me cry, there's no way to stop it. I was able to hold back the tears until she left shortly thereafter, but I'm so upset right now I don't know what to do. All I want is to hold her and do everything in the world to make her happy, and she doesn't want to be with me like that. My mind is all over the place, I thought I could handle being without her, but I guess I can't. I don't know what to do, and the last thing I want is for her to stop talking to me because she thinks I'm crazy. I wish I knew of a better way to express my feelings, I can't force her to care for me. I just want to be happy.
In addition, Nekocon is in 3 days, I have no money, and I've got an english paper to work on before tomorrow. Welcome to colege. -_-