Heartstrings come undone......nothing left
Wow, it's been a really long time since I updated, and after the weekend that I had, I figured now would be the best time to do so, so here we go......
*I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE FOR IT BEING SO LONG*
Friday- I woke up Friday morning in a reasonably good mood considering I was finally going to get to see Lindsey, I hadn't seen her in a few weeks and when we broke up, it ended on a bad note, so I guess I was looking at us hanging out as a chance to smooth things out. We'd talked on the phone pretty much every night since we broke up, but the last few times had turned into arguments because I told her that I knew that I made a mistake and I wanted to try and patch things up and not get back together right now, but maybe see how things go. Anyways, she called me to wake me up and tell me that she was leaving Grand Rapids and would call me when she got home and we'd figure out what time to hang out. So I got out of bed, took a shower, shaved and made an attempt at making myself look nice. After I had gotten ready, I was cleaning my room and she called to tell me that she was home. I naturally assumed that since we were hanging out at the mall together, we were gonna ride together, and I didn't have much gas, so I asked her if she minded driving. Turns out, she had other plans and wanted to meet me up there, when I inquired why she wanted this, she told me she wanted to just in case we start fighting, we wouldn't have to ride back in the same car mad at eachother. I was obviously upset when she told me this and we argued about it for about 20 minutes, during which we both said some pretty hurtful things to one another. I finally agreed and we met eachother up there, I got there a few minutes early, so I just sat inside the door and waited for her, when I saw her. I got really nervous and prayed that things were gonna go smoothly. She gave me a big hug and I really wanted to kiss her, but didn't and we walked around the entire mall, things were going very well, it almost seemed like nothing had changed, but then we sat down on a bench and started talking. I told her that I still loved her, that it didn't feel like "the book" on our relationship wasn't finished and I'm not saying right now, but I would eventually like to get back together, I know that probably sounds weak and pathetic on my part, but I don't care, it's the god-honest truth and I wasn't about to tell her otherwise. I also mentioned that old saying that goes "There are two people for every person on earth." The thing is, I don't want to meet the other person because I've found the one that makes me happy. She told me that she doesn't know what's gonna happen between us in the future, but for right now, she's seeing Tim and she's happy with him. As much as I've heard her say it, it still hurt so bad to hear her say it. As we were leaving the mall, I asked her for her car keys, she handed them to me, I jumped up on a chair in the foodcourt and in front of everybody at Great Lakes Crossing, I proclaimed my love for her, I told everyone that I was in love with her, I was then, I am now and always will. Lindsey's always called me her "Seth Cohen" (from The OC) and in one episode, Seth jumped up on a coffee stand and proclaimed his love for Summer. It was something that I felt I had to do, so I did it. Obviously, it didn't turn out like I'd hoped, she turned and ran, so I chased after her and as soon as she stopped, I jumped up on a bench and finished saying what I had to say. After we left the mall, we went to Borders and that was it. I cried the entire way home.....
FRIDAY NIGHT- After driving home from the mall, I dropped 2 poems that I'd written for Lindsey off at her house, I just put them in the door and left. After doing that, I went and picked Blake up from his house and then we went over to Brad's house for his suprise birthday party. As hard as I tried, I couldn't have fun, I couldn't stop thinking about everything that was said earlier. I was putzing around on Brad's skateboard in the garage, tried doing a powerslide, fell off and hit my head on the ground. I just thought that it was a minor accident and that I'd be fine in the morning, so I just went home and went to sleep.
Saturday- I woke up at around 10 feeling like utter and complete shit, when I stood up, I had blurry vision and couldn't shake this really bad wave of nausea. Nevertheless, I got ready for work, before I left, I talked to my stepdad about my head and he said that it sounds like I'd suffered a concussion. I didn't want to beleive that, so I went to work anyways, after about an hour and a half, I threw up, so I called Kyle and asked him to come in for me and then I just went home and went to sleep. I woke up at around 6:30 and just relaxed till about 9:00, then I went and picked Danny up from work with his Mom, and then I remembered that Andrea and I were supposed to hang out after she got out of Cody's homecoming (for those of you who don't know, Andrea and I went on a sort of "date" last week and we'd hung out a few times since then" so I called her, she didn't pick up. I called her when we got back to Danny's, she didn't pick up, I called her a few more times, still no answer, so I said fuck it and went home and passed out after watching a little bit of "Grandma's Boy".
Sunday- Woke up feeling almost as bad as I did the day before, I took a shower and then went with my mom to drop my nephews off at home. As I was packing up the car with their stuff, Andrea called to inform me that she doesn't think anything's going to work out between us for two reasons.....1-her ex-boyfriend James is getting out of jail on tuesday and they might be getting back together and 2-She thinks that I'm using her to get back at Lindsey. I was hurt by this because I wish that the whole James thing would have been brought to my attention sooner and reguarding the whole Lindsey thing, I'm not gonna lie, I still love her alot, but no matter what, I'd never, EVER use someone like that, I wouldn't show interest in someone unless I actually did. After getting off the phone with Andrea, I got threw up a few more times. I was sittin at home and Brad came to pick me up, I needed someone to talk to and he didn't have a whole lot to say about things, but he listened and that was fine with me. Later that night, I hung out with Danny again and then I went home and fell asleep.
So yea, that was my weekend. Sounds like a blast right?
*I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE FOR IT BEING SO LONG*
Friday- I woke up Friday morning in a reasonably good mood considering I was finally going to get to see Lindsey, I hadn't seen her in a few weeks and when we broke up, it ended on a bad note, so I guess I was looking at us hanging out as a chance to smooth things out. We'd talked on the phone pretty much every night since we broke up, but the last few times had turned into arguments because I told her that I knew that I made a mistake and I wanted to try and patch things up and not get back together right now, but maybe see how things go. Anyways, she called me to wake me up and tell me that she was leaving Grand Rapids and would call me when she got home and we'd figure out what time to hang out. So I got out of bed, took a shower, shaved and made an attempt at making myself look nice. After I had gotten ready, I was cleaning my room and she called to tell me that she was home. I naturally assumed that since we were hanging out at the mall together, we were gonna ride together, and I didn't have much gas, so I asked her if she minded driving. Turns out, she had other plans and wanted to meet me up there, when I inquired why she wanted this, she told me she wanted to just in case we start fighting, we wouldn't have to ride back in the same car mad at eachother. I was obviously upset when she told me this and we argued about it for about 20 minutes, during which we both said some pretty hurtful things to one another. I finally agreed and we met eachother up there, I got there a few minutes early, so I just sat inside the door and waited for her, when I saw her. I got really nervous and prayed that things were gonna go smoothly. She gave me a big hug and I really wanted to kiss her, but didn't and we walked around the entire mall, things were going very well, it almost seemed like nothing had changed, but then we sat down on a bench and started talking. I told her that I still loved her, that it didn't feel like "the book" on our relationship wasn't finished and I'm not saying right now, but I would eventually like to get back together, I know that probably sounds weak and pathetic on my part, but I don't care, it's the god-honest truth and I wasn't about to tell her otherwise. I also mentioned that old saying that goes "There are two people for every person on earth." The thing is, I don't want to meet the other person because I've found the one that makes me happy. She told me that she doesn't know what's gonna happen between us in the future, but for right now, she's seeing Tim and she's happy with him. As much as I've heard her say it, it still hurt so bad to hear her say it. As we were leaving the mall, I asked her for her car keys, she handed them to me, I jumped up on a chair in the foodcourt and in front of everybody at Great Lakes Crossing, I proclaimed my love for her, I told everyone that I was in love with her, I was then, I am now and always will. Lindsey's always called me her "Seth Cohen" (from The OC) and in one episode, Seth jumped up on a coffee stand and proclaimed his love for Summer. It was something that I felt I had to do, so I did it. Obviously, it didn't turn out like I'd hoped, she turned and ran, so I chased after her and as soon as she stopped, I jumped up on a bench and finished saying what I had to say. After we left the mall, we went to Borders and that was it. I cried the entire way home.....
FRIDAY NIGHT- After driving home from the mall, I dropped 2 poems that I'd written for Lindsey off at her house, I just put them in the door and left. After doing that, I went and picked Blake up from his house and then we went over to Brad's house for his suprise birthday party. As hard as I tried, I couldn't have fun, I couldn't stop thinking about everything that was said earlier. I was putzing around on Brad's skateboard in the garage, tried doing a powerslide, fell off and hit my head on the ground. I just thought that it was a minor accident and that I'd be fine in the morning, so I just went home and went to sleep.
Saturday- I woke up at around 10 feeling like utter and complete shit, when I stood up, I had blurry vision and couldn't shake this really bad wave of nausea. Nevertheless, I got ready for work, before I left, I talked to my stepdad about my head and he said that it sounds like I'd suffered a concussion. I didn't want to beleive that, so I went to work anyways, after about an hour and a half, I threw up, so I called Kyle and asked him to come in for me and then I just went home and went to sleep. I woke up at around 6:30 and just relaxed till about 9:00, then I went and picked Danny up from work with his Mom, and then I remembered that Andrea and I were supposed to hang out after she got out of Cody's homecoming (for those of you who don't know, Andrea and I went on a sort of "date" last week and we'd hung out a few times since then" so I called her, she didn't pick up. I called her when we got back to Danny's, she didn't pick up, I called her a few more times, still no answer, so I said fuck it and went home and passed out after watching a little bit of "Grandma's Boy".
Sunday- Woke up feeling almost as bad as I did the day before, I took a shower and then went with my mom to drop my nephews off at home. As I was packing up the car with their stuff, Andrea called to inform me that she doesn't think anything's going to work out between us for two reasons.....1-her ex-boyfriend James is getting out of jail on tuesday and they might be getting back together and 2-She thinks that I'm using her to get back at Lindsey. I was hurt by this because I wish that the whole James thing would have been brought to my attention sooner and reguarding the whole Lindsey thing, I'm not gonna lie, I still love her alot, but no matter what, I'd never, EVER use someone like that, I wouldn't show interest in someone unless I actually did. After getting off the phone with Andrea, I got threw up a few more times. I was sittin at home and Brad came to pick me up, I needed someone to talk to and he didn't have a whole lot to say about things, but he listened and that was fine with me. Later that night, I hung out with Danny again and then I went home and fell asleep.
So yea, that was my weekend. Sounds like a blast right?