(no subject)
okay first some important dates. august 10th is my projected date to move to texas, which is pretty close by. this has had me in pure panic mode since i got back from NY, as much as i'd like to just chill out and be like "huh what a fun vacation i had" nope back to getting my life sorted out in the span of a couple weeks
so first things first, by that date i need to have a plane ticket, someone to drive me there, and all my stuff packed. thats only the tip of it. but what is more stressful is the school situation.
i started going to community college to earn credits to transfer to LCAD/MCAD, so i took a bunch of bullshit gen ed courses-- math and english, a couple drawing classes, etc. i wasn't exactly aiming for an associates degree in art or anything, just classes to save me money in college. now it is pretty much a 100% definite that i will not be going to an expensive private art college, and im slowly coming to terms with that. the problem is now all the options i have.
i considered seeking a certificate or a degree in a career/technical program-- something that would give me the skills and entry to start along a career path that i could otherwise not obtain on my own. so something like idk fuckin dental assistant or something.
these certificates tho, take 2 years of classes and about 5 courses per semester to earn that certificate. keep in mind that being under my moms roof i get a hefty amount of financial aid awarded to me for being super poor. like $5550 free dollars. that is nothing to sneeze at and i want to use this money as efficiently as possible.
this certificate idea would not be put into motion until around spring semester, ill explain that in a bit. my other option would be to hold onto the idea of going to a four year college, except a public one where i can gain a degree within the price range of the financial aid offered to me. i like this idea but at the same time i dont because im getting old. i dont want to graduate college when im 30, spending basically all of my 20s pursuing college that would never happen.
wow that was just a shitty realization. yeah i dont want that. if i can start a career within the next 3 years, that would be aces.
alright, so specifically the stress im having right now. im worried about moving, im worried about how it could affect my college stuff-- ill be a long ride away from the actual campus in houston (around a 45 minute drive) and i can only register for classes on certain days. i was considering taking a few bullshit classes to bide my time (drawing, etc) then gauge after the first semester what is a plausible plan of action. i am definitely getting a job in texas, as much as the idea makes me nervous i need to grow the fuck up and start earning money because yeah........ not having money sucks. a lot.
so. august 10th. i need to have my transcript sent, a vaccine done (?) and both of the schools notified of my transfer. im worried about the next 6 months (a large chunk of time) just going completely awry, me fucking up school, not being able to handle being in a new place, etc. all pretty valid fears, i think.
i think if i could describe the perfect scenario for myself it would be as such-- living in an apartment in city that i like, publishing and making comics, while having a career supporting me financially. i think every artist wants this and its pretty much impossible if you don't already have a middle class background. otherwise youre just kinda stuck working at mcdonalds and eating ramen for supper while drawing shitty cartoons (my projected life scenario)
so yeah! i dont know if this even explains whats going on so well. i am just sick to my stomach nervous about moving, what the hell am i even ever doing with school, where is my life going, etc. i mean this is a pretty big fucking turn. from spending the past few years grasping onto the idea of art college and planning my whole life around that to just going "nope" now and having to rebuild my life plans from scratch again. its annoying and i just really want a sense of stability, thats it. just a goal to obtain and money so i can buy food and art stuff.
so first things first, by that date i need to have a plane ticket, someone to drive me there, and all my stuff packed. thats only the tip of it. but what is more stressful is the school situation.
i started going to community college to earn credits to transfer to LCAD/MCAD, so i took a bunch of bullshit gen ed courses-- math and english, a couple drawing classes, etc. i wasn't exactly aiming for an associates degree in art or anything, just classes to save me money in college. now it is pretty much a 100% definite that i will not be going to an expensive private art college, and im slowly coming to terms with that. the problem is now all the options i have.
i considered seeking a certificate or a degree in a career/technical program-- something that would give me the skills and entry to start along a career path that i could otherwise not obtain on my own. so something like idk fuckin dental assistant or something.
these certificates tho, take 2 years of classes and about 5 courses per semester to earn that certificate. keep in mind that being under my moms roof i get a hefty amount of financial aid awarded to me for being super poor. like $5550 free dollars. that is nothing to sneeze at and i want to use this money as efficiently as possible.
this certificate idea would not be put into motion until around spring semester, ill explain that in a bit. my other option would be to hold onto the idea of going to a four year college, except a public one where i can gain a degree within the price range of the financial aid offered to me. i like this idea but at the same time i dont because im getting old. i dont want to graduate college when im 30, spending basically all of my 20s pursuing college that would never happen.
wow that was just a shitty realization. yeah i dont want that. if i can start a career within the next 3 years, that would be aces.
alright, so specifically the stress im having right now. im worried about moving, im worried about how it could affect my college stuff-- ill be a long ride away from the actual campus in houston (around a 45 minute drive) and i can only register for classes on certain days. i was considering taking a few bullshit classes to bide my time (drawing, etc) then gauge after the first semester what is a plausible plan of action. i am definitely getting a job in texas, as much as the idea makes me nervous i need to grow the fuck up and start earning money because yeah........ not having money sucks. a lot.
so. august 10th. i need to have my transcript sent, a vaccine done (?) and both of the schools notified of my transfer. im worried about the next 6 months (a large chunk of time) just going completely awry, me fucking up school, not being able to handle being in a new place, etc. all pretty valid fears, i think.
i think if i could describe the perfect scenario for myself it would be as such-- living in an apartment in city that i like, publishing and making comics, while having a career supporting me financially. i think every artist wants this and its pretty much impossible if you don't already have a middle class background. otherwise youre just kinda stuck working at mcdonalds and eating ramen for supper while drawing shitty cartoons (my projected life scenario)
so yeah! i dont know if this even explains whats going on so well. i am just sick to my stomach nervous about moving, what the hell am i even ever doing with school, where is my life going, etc. i mean this is a pretty big fucking turn. from spending the past few years grasping onto the idea of art college and planning my whole life around that to just going "nope" now and having to rebuild my life plans from scratch again. its annoying and i just really want a sense of stability, thats it. just a goal to obtain and money so i can buy food and art stuff.