(no subject)
Two things happened suggesting I need to make a change in my life. I won't go so far as to say epiphany quite yet. I still want to wait and see if I can actually create the change.
There are times I believe fate is just a bunch of bologna conjured up by those who are too weak to enact change on their own. Other times, I find it hard to accept there can be anything but fate playing a cruel joke allowing us to believe we hold some control. Today, I think fate decided to stay out of the shadows of subtle acts of some symbolic meaning. No, today she (and yes, if fate exists I'm sure there is an evil woman behind it) sent my spinning out of control in my truck with little space between escaping unscathed and having my head splattered on the windshield. Alright, maybe that sounds a bit dramatic...I was wearing my seat belt...but nonetheless I came very close to being involved in a multiple car pileup. Suddenly, everything else seems to just bother me a little less. If anyone were to ask me how I am feeling, I could only respond with, "I'm alive."
The second appearance she made (yes, that's fate again) was through Korey. He wanted to tell me Friday afternoon, but decided to wait until a later moment. Today was prime since I had been left in a more humble state (plus I'll admit it was exciting getting to reenact the situation to my friends. I'm really not a hero at all, but surviving makes me feel like I accomplished something heroic). Anyway, what Korey told me was this:
"i just wanted to say, letting yourself be walked on and treated like shit is one of the least attractive things about you. i just kept thinking of how unattractive it was for someone who has a great personality"
I was in no way offended. Just the opposite. I think it was one of the kindest things he could have done for me. We all need a kick in the ass (or balls for that matter) sometimes, and I certainly got it. If it makes a bruise that will heal, but at least I'll know not to bend over any more.
There are times I believe fate is just a bunch of bologna conjured up by those who are too weak to enact change on their own. Other times, I find it hard to accept there can be anything but fate playing a cruel joke allowing us to believe we hold some control. Today, I think fate decided to stay out of the shadows of subtle acts of some symbolic meaning. No, today she (and yes, if fate exists I'm sure there is an evil woman behind it) sent my spinning out of control in my truck with little space between escaping unscathed and having my head splattered on the windshield. Alright, maybe that sounds a bit dramatic...I was wearing my seat belt...but nonetheless I came very close to being involved in a multiple car pileup. Suddenly, everything else seems to just bother me a little less. If anyone were to ask me how I am feeling, I could only respond with, "I'm alive."
The second appearance she made (yes, that's fate again) was through Korey. He wanted to tell me Friday afternoon, but decided to wait until a later moment. Today was prime since I had been left in a more humble state (plus I'll admit it was exciting getting to reenact the situation to my friends. I'm really not a hero at all, but surviving makes me feel like I accomplished something heroic). Anyway, what Korey told me was this:
"i just wanted to say, letting yourself be walked on and treated like shit is one of the least attractive things about you. i just kept thinking of how unattractive it was for someone who has a great personality"
I was in no way offended. Just the opposite. I think it was one of the kindest things he could have done for me. We all need a kick in the ass (or balls for that matter) sometimes, and I certainly got it. If it makes a bruise that will heal, but at least I'll know not to bend over any more.