There Goes My Life
So it seems like all I can do lately is alienate people I like/love. All I really want to do is find some friends to hang out with and have a guy who loves me and wants to be here for me.
Josh is mad because I've had people spend the night a few times recently without telling him in advance. Both Kelli and Eryn stood me up today.....fun times.
Chris is mad because I'm intersted in this guy Jordan, so everything's akward between us - and he doesn't want to see me right now. I spent the other night talking to him, trying to be honest about what I want, but I think it just made things worse and helped me to alienate him even more. Why can't people ever go from lovers to good friends?
Things with Jordan are akward too because I'm trying to move too fast with him. He just broke up with his jackass ex-boyfriend last week, and already I'm trying to push him into something. I said to him "Am I stupid for liking you? Should I just forget about it?" He, of course, can never give me a straight answer, and replies, "You have to decide what you want to do." And when asked "So do you like me?" he says "I don't know" and always has mysterious answers. I get mixed feelings from his friends about things. Dusty says "He's not worth your time and his feelings are a jumbled mess right now", while Mesa says "I think he likes you but won't admit it." I don't know what to believe.
I don't know what to make of anything in my life right now. I know nobody cares, or even knows who these people are, but I had to write something. I mainly wrote this for my own benefit - to help release some feelings in hopes of finding a resolution.
People suck. Friends suck. Boys suck.
Josh is mad because I've had people spend the night a few times recently without telling him in advance. Both Kelli and Eryn stood me up today.....fun times.
Chris is mad because I'm intersted in this guy Jordan, so everything's akward between us - and he doesn't want to see me right now. I spent the other night talking to him, trying to be honest about what I want, but I think it just made things worse and helped me to alienate him even more. Why can't people ever go from lovers to good friends?
Things with Jordan are akward too because I'm trying to move too fast with him. He just broke up with his jackass ex-boyfriend last week, and already I'm trying to push him into something. I said to him "Am I stupid for liking you? Should I just forget about it?" He, of course, can never give me a straight answer, and replies, "You have to decide what you want to do." And when asked "So do you like me?" he says "I don't know" and always has mysterious answers. I get mixed feelings from his friends about things. Dusty says "He's not worth your time and his feelings are a jumbled mess right now", while Mesa says "I think he likes you but won't admit it." I don't know what to believe.
I don't know what to make of anything in my life right now. I know nobody cares, or even knows who these people are, but I had to write something. I mainly wrote this for my own benefit - to help release some feelings in hopes of finding a resolution.
People suck. Friends suck. Boys suck.