sorry
sorry so much to everyone (especially billy cuz he complained) for not updating recently. its pretty much because my life is so incredibly mundane. i wake up every morning at the same time, climb into the same shower, get dressed and go to the same school where i take the same classes EVERY SINGLE DAY. its so annoying and i'm so sick of it.
just today i slipped into this random depression. i dont even know what it was sparked by. but all of the sudden i realized that life sucks. school is too hard. my parents think i'm dumb because i didnt sign up for June SATs (but i already took them in march). i'm so upset with myself for so many things. i've been slacking so much in school lately and i know i always say this but my grades seem like they're slipping a lot. this year sucked because i finally have made honor roll every quarter and thats a good thing except now my expectations are so much higher that i get depressed if i get a quiz grade like an 80 or something. i used to jump up and down for a grade like that. another thing is that summer is coming and i have no confidence in myself whatsoever. i hate my body and my face and i just cant imagine ever being on the beach anywhere with anyone looking at me. i know everyone is gonna be like omg you're not fat and i'm not saying that i am. i'm just saying i'm not confident in myself because i'm not happy with my image. and i absolutely LOATHE myself for that because i'm always telling myself and everyone around me to be happy for who you are and not what you look like but i cant help it.
i dunno just today at the softball game i couldnt crack a real smile to save my life. so i apologize to all you girls cuz i was such a bitch and i'm still being one. i dont know whats wrong today but i'm really hoping i get over this by tomorrow.
oh and having a percussion final tomorrow...lovely... especially since i dont have any of my music and i'm still not done writing all of my song that i have to perform tomorrow in front of the class.
ugh i'm done. i'm sorry for complaining. its all i do lately and i promise everyone that i annoy that i'm truly trying to change and i'll do my best to be happier and more positive from now on.
b4n
~Erica
just today i slipped into this random depression. i dont even know what it was sparked by. but all of the sudden i realized that life sucks. school is too hard. my parents think i'm dumb because i didnt sign up for June SATs (but i already took them in march). i'm so upset with myself for so many things. i've been slacking so much in school lately and i know i always say this but my grades seem like they're slipping a lot. this year sucked because i finally have made honor roll every quarter and thats a good thing except now my expectations are so much higher that i get depressed if i get a quiz grade like an 80 or something. i used to jump up and down for a grade like that. another thing is that summer is coming and i have no confidence in myself whatsoever. i hate my body and my face and i just cant imagine ever being on the beach anywhere with anyone looking at me. i know everyone is gonna be like omg you're not fat and i'm not saying that i am. i'm just saying i'm not confident in myself because i'm not happy with my image. and i absolutely LOATHE myself for that because i'm always telling myself and everyone around me to be happy for who you are and not what you look like but i cant help it.
i dunno just today at the softball game i couldnt crack a real smile to save my life. so i apologize to all you girls cuz i was such a bitch and i'm still being one. i dont know whats wrong today but i'm really hoping i get over this by tomorrow.
oh and having a percussion final tomorrow...lovely... especially since i dont have any of my music and i'm still not done writing all of my song that i have to perform tomorrow in front of the class.
ugh i'm done. i'm sorry for complaining. its all i do lately and i promise everyone that i annoy that i'm truly trying to change and i'll do my best to be happier and more positive from now on.
b4n
~Erica