Pre- V-Day Bitterness
I swear this time of year is designed to heighten the insecurities of single people. Screw being alone. Being alone is for chumps. Especially when there's expensive jewelry, chocolates, flowers, and heart-shaped shit sold by cross-eyed and skeevy old men who leer at you as you peruse the contents of their shabby truck. Of course you should buy all of this stuff. All of which simply underscores what a loser you are for forgetting your anniversary by showing how thoughtful you can be when you can't watch more than 10 minutes of TV without being reminded of what day Tuesday is.
Not that I'm bitter. Oh wait. I AM bitter. Not about being alone, I came to terms with the idea I might be the creepy old man sitting on my front porch hitting the local children with my garden hose when they step too close to the lawn a long time ago. What I am bitter about is not that I am single, but rather that it seems for the next week, that it is incredibly un-PC for me to be single. Instead I should be further hemorrhaging cash out of my pocket and spending it on some floozy, just to fit the theme of the week. Well, instead, I will wear black, pretend to be a Goth, and throw things at happy people. Well, I like to throw things at people anyhow.
And while I'm on the subject, I officially hate on-line dating. Now, to be honest, I joined a bunch of these sites to give myself something to do while at work in the computer labs, and I joined more of them recently to combat my greatest enemy. No, not loneliness, but boredom. However, I feel like they are not designed to facilitate conversation, but only to make money for the company that has made them. Hell, I don't have 30 bucks a month to maybe send four or five emails that may or may not get a response. It would be the largest waste of money ever. After the movie Alone in the Dark with Christian Slater and Tara Reid, that is.
This is especially annoying when I can tell that almost half of the photos being used are either outdated or blatantly false. When a person describes themselves as "full-figured" but the girl in the pic couldn't weigh more than 90 pounds, I have to wonder if the out-of-focus amorphous blob in the background is who actually wrote the ad. Or the person taking the picture who had a cute pic of their friend. And if you aren't using a real pic or a fresh one, what kind of results do you expect to get? I mean if you are using a fake pic to build your self-esteem, that self-esteem will be shattered the first time someone meets you in person and confronts you on the difference and leaves. Ladies, guys are superficial assholes, and gentlemen, women have inflated expectations that can't be met anyhow, so don't piss in your own pool before you even have a chance to talk to her.
Ok, woo... all the bitterness is out of me, and in the safe loving arms of the internet. =)
Not that I'm bitter. Oh wait. I AM bitter. Not about being alone, I came to terms with the idea I might be the creepy old man sitting on my front porch hitting the local children with my garden hose when they step too close to the lawn a long time ago. What I am bitter about is not that I am single, but rather that it seems for the next week, that it is incredibly un-PC for me to be single. Instead I should be further hemorrhaging cash out of my pocket and spending it on some floozy, just to fit the theme of the week. Well, instead, I will wear black, pretend to be a Goth, and throw things at happy people. Well, I like to throw things at people anyhow.
And while I'm on the subject, I officially hate on-line dating. Now, to be honest, I joined a bunch of these sites to give myself something to do while at work in the computer labs, and I joined more of them recently to combat my greatest enemy. No, not loneliness, but boredom. However, I feel like they are not designed to facilitate conversation, but only to make money for the company that has made them. Hell, I don't have 30 bucks a month to maybe send four or five emails that may or may not get a response. It would be the largest waste of money ever. After the movie Alone in the Dark with Christian Slater and Tara Reid, that is.
This is especially annoying when I can tell that almost half of the photos being used are either outdated or blatantly false. When a person describes themselves as "full-figured" but the girl in the pic couldn't weigh more than 90 pounds, I have to wonder if the out-of-focus amorphous blob in the background is who actually wrote the ad. Or the person taking the picture who had a cute pic of their friend. And if you aren't using a real pic or a fresh one, what kind of results do you expect to get? I mean if you are using a fake pic to build your self-esteem, that self-esteem will be shattered the first time someone meets you in person and confronts you on the difference and leaves. Ladies, guys are superficial assholes, and gentlemen, women have inflated expectations that can't be met anyhow, so don't piss in your own pool before you even have a chance to talk to her.
Ok, woo... all the bitterness is out of me, and in the safe loving arms of the internet. =)