Reunion
Last night was my 5 year high school reunion. At the last minute, all of my friends told me they wouldn't be able to make it so I had to decide if I wanted to go without them. Matt (my boyfriend now!) said he would come with me, but I kind of felt like it was something I had to do on my own. It ended up being the right decision. Matt was awesome because he totally kept me from being nervous and helped me pick out an outfit for the night.
I ended up floating around. I talked to a few people I had really never talked to before, but for the most part stuck to a few people that I felt comfortable with. I made a point to find a few people that I was curious about and wanted to see how they were doing. Most of them were guys from over the years that I had been into at some point and generally knew they were good guys. I had really good conversations with a few of them and it was really fun. I also found some of the girls that I hadn't talked to in years. The people that I had been closest to weren't there and that was kind of discouraging. There was one guy I had a totally random conversation and he kept saying how "alienated" he felt during high school. I totally wanted to give him a hug and thank him for saying that! There were definitely some awkward moments, but overall I had a good time.
I think the best part of it for me was that a lot of people didn't recognize me or noticed how much I had changed. I found that worked against me at times because people were obviously avoiding talking to me if they didn't know who I was. I had a few people say, "You look really good!" When I walked in, they almost didn't believe it was me on my license! One guy that I used to be pretty cool with told me that I looked really great and actually used the word "amazing". Another guy that I had a thing for at one point kept watching me as I was walking around, but never said anything to me. It felt so good though. I was just proud that I could walk in there, be myself, and have a good time. It really didn't turn into the competition that I had expected and that was a good thing too. It took a lot of balls for me to do that by myself and I am so proud of myself for doing it. The end result was a good time and a self-esteem boost. I kind of felt like I was one of the people that had changed the most since high school and that felt really good.
So my conclusions for the night is that all of that is in the past and I have grown into a beautiful, confident woman that can be independent. High school was awkward and alienating for everyone. I missed some opportunities because I was so shy, but I grew out of it and I am proud of that. I have a great boyfriend. I am going to keep working on losing weight and taking care of myself. It isn't so much about impressing other people as it is about being able to hold my head high, the way I did last night.
I ended up floating around. I talked to a few people I had really never talked to before, but for the most part stuck to a few people that I felt comfortable with. I made a point to find a few people that I was curious about and wanted to see how they were doing. Most of them were guys from over the years that I had been into at some point and generally knew they were good guys. I had really good conversations with a few of them and it was really fun. I also found some of the girls that I hadn't talked to in years. The people that I had been closest to weren't there and that was kind of discouraging. There was one guy I had a totally random conversation and he kept saying how "alienated" he felt during high school. I totally wanted to give him a hug and thank him for saying that! There were definitely some awkward moments, but overall I had a good time.
I think the best part of it for me was that a lot of people didn't recognize me or noticed how much I had changed. I found that worked against me at times because people were obviously avoiding talking to me if they didn't know who I was. I had a few people say, "You look really good!" When I walked in, they almost didn't believe it was me on my license! One guy that I used to be pretty cool with told me that I looked really great and actually used the word "amazing". Another guy that I had a thing for at one point kept watching me as I was walking around, but never said anything to me. It felt so good though. I was just proud that I could walk in there, be myself, and have a good time. It really didn't turn into the competition that I had expected and that was a good thing too. It took a lot of balls for me to do that by myself and I am so proud of myself for doing it. The end result was a good time and a self-esteem boost. I kind of felt like I was one of the people that had changed the most since high school and that felt really good.
So my conclusions for the night is that all of that is in the past and I have grown into a beautiful, confident woman that can be independent. High school was awkward and alienating for everyone. I missed some opportunities because I was so shy, but I grew out of it and I am proud of that. I have a great boyfriend. I am going to keep working on losing weight and taking care of myself. It isn't so much about impressing other people as it is about being able to hold my head high, the way I did last night.