(no subject)
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
DOCTOR: "What brings you to a place like this?" *looks around his office in mock disdain*
ME: "I am getting over some manner of plague---I'm pretty sure it was the flu, or at least a really bad cold---and am not allowed to return to work until I have confirmation from a doctor that I'm no longer contagious. They're really paranoid, because I was where swine flu was on Friday and Saturday, and they don't want swine flu to be where they are."
DOCTOR: "Bah, we have swine flu HERE. We just don't care. It's the flu. We don't even test for it anymore, except in hospitals. As for you being contagious, flu viruses have 2-3 week incubation periods, and you're contagious that entire time..."
ME: *blinks, thinking she read somewhere that flu viruses have a 12-hour to 5-day incubation period and that you're only contagious for one day before you're symptomatic*
DOCTOR: "...So by the time you start showing symptoms you'll have already spread it around to everyone anyway."
ME: "But I'd still be contagious while I have a fever, right?"
DOCTOR: "DO you have a fever?"
ME: *wonders what the purpose of sending a nurse in first to take all those readings is if the doctor is not aware of them* "I didn't have one at home a half hour ago. But your nurse says I now have a fever of 99.5. Which is strange..."
DOCTOR: *dismissively* "That doesn't count."
ME: "Cool! Can I have my return to work slip then?"
DOCTOR: *brings one*
ON THE PHONE WITH BY BOSS
ME: "Hi. So, I just finished up at the doctor's office. He says I'm no longer contagious, even with a low fever, and so can return to work."
BOSS: "Low fever?"
ME: "Really low."
BOSS: "Just to be safe, I'd prefer you wait until tomorrow to come in to work. Drink lots of juice and feel better."
AT HOME
ME: "I think someone's lying to me..." *gets thermometer*
THERMOMETER: "97.6"
ME: "I fucking KNEW it."
IN RELATED NEWS
My doctor seemed utterly disinterested in the question of whether or not it's swine flu. I just want to be able to SAY it is, damn it. You know... legitimately.
And now I can! Smokie's doc says that symptoms, timing, etc for the flu virus he has all match up to swine flu. That's about the closest to a confirmation one is going to get outside of a hospital setting. And since I GAVE it to him...
DOCTOR: "What brings you to a place like this?" *looks around his office in mock disdain*
ME: "I am getting over some manner of plague---I'm pretty sure it was the flu, or at least a really bad cold---and am not allowed to return to work until I have confirmation from a doctor that I'm no longer contagious. They're really paranoid, because I was where swine flu was on Friday and Saturday, and they don't want swine flu to be where they are."
DOCTOR: "Bah, we have swine flu HERE. We just don't care. It's the flu. We don't even test for it anymore, except in hospitals. As for you being contagious, flu viruses have 2-3 week incubation periods, and you're contagious that entire time..."
ME: *blinks, thinking she read somewhere that flu viruses have a 12-hour to 5-day incubation period and that you're only contagious for one day before you're symptomatic*
DOCTOR: "...So by the time you start showing symptoms you'll have already spread it around to everyone anyway."
ME: "But I'd still be contagious while I have a fever, right?"
DOCTOR: "DO you have a fever?"
ME: *wonders what the purpose of sending a nurse in first to take all those readings is if the doctor is not aware of them* "I didn't have one at home a half hour ago. But your nurse says I now have a fever of 99.5. Which is strange..."
DOCTOR: *dismissively* "That doesn't count."
ME: "Cool! Can I have my return to work slip then?"
DOCTOR: *brings one*
ON THE PHONE WITH BY BOSS
ME: "Hi. So, I just finished up at the doctor's office. He says I'm no longer contagious, even with a low fever, and so can return to work."
BOSS: "Low fever?"
ME: "Really low."
BOSS: "Just to be safe, I'd prefer you wait until tomorrow to come in to work. Drink lots of juice and feel better."
AT HOME
ME: "I think someone's lying to me..." *gets thermometer*
THERMOMETER: "97.6"
ME: "I fucking KNEW it."
IN RELATED NEWS
My doctor seemed utterly disinterested in the question of whether or not it's swine flu. I just want to be able to SAY it is, damn it. You know... legitimately.
And now I can! Smokie's doc says that symptoms, timing, etc for the flu virus he has all match up to swine flu. That's about the closest to a confirmation one is going to get outside of a hospital setting. And since I GAVE it to him...