Sad, Small, Sweet.
How come everyone acts different infront of their friends. (including me) i have found no exceptions to this rule. even the ppl i thought could care less about wat their friends think act either like complete assholes or just act like they dont care. I've noticed that i do it too. I dont understand it. I don't care whether my friends think im an asshole to som people but yet i still do it to people i really would not do it to normally. I dont understand it at all and it's kinda strange. My friends seem to be really strange lately. Jason won't stay online for more than 5 minutes after i get online, Lily is fighting with her mom almost constantly, Brittney...well...brittney....ill jus leave that be, i never understand her. Tim seems pretty much normal and i havent talked to Aj since the middle of last week. I feel disconnected from everyone and I dont realize it in some way that makes sense to me. I donno...im just confusing myself more tryin to put this into words. Everyone seems to think im serious about everything i say nowadays. Used-to-be they always just laughed and said ,"Oh Andy I <3 you." and id say,"I know, who does'nt these days." but now it seems everyone just thinks im being a complete asshole and im conceded. When everything i say, i say to try to get them to smile to make myself feel a little better. Have i lost my touch to make people happy? i hope not that is probably the only thing that keeps me truley happy. Making somone laugh was the only thing that gave my soul what i call "Energy" or a "spirit". and now i dont think ive made anyone crack up enytime latly. who knows. its the damn enternet, u cant tell when people really laugh or when they jus say "lol", "lmao", "LMFAO", just so u think they think ur funny to keep u happy. Sarcasim and lies can be told everyday and u can keep a person so happy and ignorant to ur real feelings online. I have no more to write. and people...im not sad im just saying this because its something i think about at times. Please dont comment me saying, "oh, andy dont worry about it God will work everything out." God controls little of our lives if at all. He gave us free will to do wat we want not to be puppets in his "master plan". Yes i believe god has a plan for us all...but that doesnt mean hes goin to fix every problem we have. "God helps those who help themselves." rememeber that the next time u think. oh god with get me through this.ok that is everything.