(no subject)
Over the last few days I have had a break through of sorts. I realized that,
even though I hate this state, want desperately to get out, and spend most
of my time alone. That is better then any option I currently have. For the
roughly the last 4-5 months I have been running head long towards a very bad
idea. It sounded like a good idea because it would get me out of this place.
The loneliness part would not be fixed, but the first two would have been.
But you know what. I do not want to get out of here just to be a gutter
punk again, somewhere else. I know that I want to leave New Mexico, even
if just for a long enough time to realize that it wasn't that bad. I know
that I would like to live in Seattle. I know that when I do leave, I want
to have a foot to stand on, so that if I do come back, it will be because
I want to come back.
So here I will stay for now. For once, I think I am okie with that idea.
even though I hate this state, want desperately to get out, and spend most
of my time alone. That is better then any option I currently have. For the
roughly the last 4-5 months I have been running head long towards a very bad
idea. It sounded like a good idea because it would get me out of this place.
The loneliness part would not be fixed, but the first two would have been.
But you know what. I do not want to get out of here just to be a gutter
punk again, somewhere else. I know that I want to leave New Mexico, even
if just for a long enough time to realize that it wasn't that bad. I know
that I would like to live in Seattle. I know that when I do leave, I want
to have a foot to stand on, so that if I do come back, it will be because
I want to come back.
So here I will stay for now. For once, I think I am okie with that idea.