At the end of days, at the end of time
When the sun burns out, will any of this matter?
Who will be there to remember who we were?
Who will be there to know that any of this had meaning to us?
No one.
I know in darkness, I will find you, giving up inside like me.
I used to believe in those words. In the belief that at your darkest moment,
you might possibly find someone...something...someplace. A fucking reason to
keep going. It's not true. You know what you find in darkness? A big
black nothing.
When you stare into the abyss, the abyss does not stare back. What stares
back is those moments you have held onto. Those moments that made your life
bright. The more you look into the abyss, the more you remember that those
moments will never happen again, and the harder it becomes to look up at
what might be on the other side of the abyss.
You begin to remember what happened after the brightness. You eventually
begin to dread the other side. The more you dread the brightness, the more
inviting that the abyss becomes. The more inviting the abyss becomes, the
more you give up. The more you give up, the more you fear. The more you
fear, the more you look back. The more you look back, the less you look
forward. The less you look forward, the more you stop hoping. The more
you stop hoping, the sooner you fall. The further you fall, the harder it
is to be caught, until you are lost.
I fear, that I have have given up, and let myself fall so far, that I do
not know if I can be caught, or if I can even catch myself. Every time I reach
out, and grasp at something, I am smashed against the rocks, and try as I might,
the pain becomes to much. I have to let go.
Everything I try to do, just feels like a desperate grab into the darkness,
trying to stop the fall. All the plans, I have, are just stalling time. I know
the light is behind and above me. But. I have fallen so far that I can't look
towards it.
Up or down? Which way do you want to go? I just honestly don't know anymore.
Who will be there to remember who we were?
Who will be there to know that any of this had meaning to us?
No one.
I know in darkness, I will find you, giving up inside like me.
I used to believe in those words. In the belief that at your darkest moment,
you might possibly find someone...something...someplace. A fucking reason to
keep going. It's not true. You know what you find in darkness? A big
black nothing.
When you stare into the abyss, the abyss does not stare back. What stares
back is those moments you have held onto. Those moments that made your life
bright. The more you look into the abyss, the more you remember that those
moments will never happen again, and the harder it becomes to look up at
what might be on the other side of the abyss.
You begin to remember what happened after the brightness. You eventually
begin to dread the other side. The more you dread the brightness, the more
inviting that the abyss becomes. The more inviting the abyss becomes, the
more you give up. The more you give up, the more you fear. The more you
fear, the more you look back. The more you look back, the less you look
forward. The less you look forward, the more you stop hoping. The more
you stop hoping, the sooner you fall. The further you fall, the harder it
is to be caught, until you are lost.
I fear, that I have have given up, and let myself fall so far, that I do
not know if I can be caught, or if I can even catch myself. Every time I reach
out, and grasp at something, I am smashed against the rocks, and try as I might,
the pain becomes to much. I have to let go.
Everything I try to do, just feels like a desperate grab into the darkness,
trying to stop the fall. All the plans, I have, are just stalling time. I know
the light is behind and above me. But. I have fallen so far that I can't look
towards it.
Up or down? Which way do you want to go? I just honestly don't know anymore.