Cost of Happiness
Cost of Happiness
Note: I do not own “Once Upon A Time” and I do not make a profit from writing this story. I’m just amusing myself.
Authors Note: Look! I can write something other than Gold, Ruby and Archie! Also it is unbeta'd but it hc_bingo is ending and I had to post!
Setting: Storybrooke
Rating: PG
Warnings: Angsty musings
Prompts: trust issues (hc_bingo)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Word Count: 1,109
Cast: Ashley Boyd, Alexandra Boyd, Ruby, The Herman Family, The Boyd Family Mr. Gold
Summary: Ashley muses on her life and what it costs to be truly happy.
Though she was only 19, she felt much older, she never knew why. She knew people had an old adage about “old souls” but she didn’t think that was the case. With everything that had been thrown at her in her life, she felt like she had been aged well beyond her years. She looked into the mirror as she stepped out of the shower, wiping away the condensation with her hand; she saw her reflection studying her closely. She looked as young as ever, if not younger. According to half of Storybrooke, she looked like she was glowing since she had Alexandra. Instead of adding years, it took them away.
When she heard footsteps down the hall, she cracked the door open and saw Ruby wandering out of her room. Granny and Ruby took pity on her and allowed her to live in the Bed and Breakfast since she gave birth. The child needed a home and she was still not welcome at the Herman residence. Ashley wanted to pay for every day she lived under their roof, but they kindly refused. And in fact, Granny had been knitting blankets and clothes nonstop for Alexandra. Something that brought tears to her eyes every time she returned to her room to find a new outfit laid out on the bed.
She would immediately put it on her daughter and bring her to Granny, kissing the old woman on her cheek and praising her work. Granny would just laugh and insinuate that Alexandra was her Great-Great Granddaughter, since Ruby, for “putting out” as much as she did, refused to have children. Ruby would just laugh and coo at the baby affectionately.
Today when it happened, Ruby just grinned wickedly.
Her bright red lips were curved up in a dangerous smile, “Ok Gran, you want me to have a baby, I’m off to go find a donor. My date is a good candidate,” she said with a wink.
Granny frowned as Ruby stepped towards the door. “It’s not that mechanic, is it?” Ruby’s laughter echoed through the mostly empty Bed and Breakfast.
“No, it’s Mr. Gold,” she called and shut the door behind her before either woman could react.
Ashley felt like Ruby just slapped her in the face and Granny shuddered, “That girl needs help,” she said.
A sigh escaped Ashley’s lips as she looked to her surrogate Grandmother. “There’s no use, she’d probably sleep with her Shrink,” Ashley loved Ruby very much but the girl had a reputation and lived up to it. She should know, Ruby had told her about every hook up she ever had since they were young. Though she never mentioned her attraction to Mr. Gold, but she was probably trying to shield her from it.
Ashley understood why, Mr. Gold still made her uncomfortable. She felt guilty every time she saw the man, though he had assured her on more than one occasion that she had nothing to fear. Their deal was broken and he had other things to do with his time than seek revenge on a young mother and her child. But apparently that seemed to be her best friend, which felt like a knife in the back anyways. But if he made Ruby happy, Ashley would grin and bear it. It was because Ashley trusted so few people that to lose one…it would leave her alone.
Though Sean had come back, it was getting harder and harder to see him with him working all the time and his Father still trying to sway him. She told him it was ok, she understood though her heart was breaking each time he said good bye. Without Ruby and Gran, she had no family. She hadn’t considered her stepmother and sisters family since the day she left home at the tender age of 16. She lived in her car because it was better than being there with them.
Under the excuse of building character and deception of true compassion, their abuse was too much to handle. The constant stress of even being over the threshold of the front door made her sick. Their rage and vengeance was worse than hell. They broke her down every day until she wept herself to sleep. That’s why she had clung to Sean and winded up pregnant. She needed a rock in her life and when he left her, she felt like she would die. But as she felt Alexandra kick within her for the first time, it strengthened her. Then Sean’s Dad blindsided her with the contract from Mr. Gold. That crushed her spirit to the point she numbly signed away her child. Mr. Herman had pretended to care for her, pretended to like her and as soon as she became pregnant, his true colors appeared. Another blow within that would never heal. She would never trust him again.
Mr. Gold seemed very sympathetic to her plight; he really did want to help and seemed so concerned for her daughter. He told her that she needed to trust him that he would make sure her daughter had the life she could never give her. And she believed him, and at the second, a part of her still did.
Granny was studying her, adjusting Alexandra in her arms as she fussed. “Ashley, why don’t you head to bed, Sweetie. You look exhausted? Alexandra looks like she could use a bottle and a nice long cuddle with her Mother.”
Ashley numbly nodded and took her child into her arms, heading upstairs to her room. As she walked into her room, she found Sean waiting for her.
“Sean! When did you get here?” she demanded in surprise.
He looked sheepishly at her, “I snuck in when Ruby was leaving, I wanted to surprise you. I wanted to spend the night tonight, if that’s ok,” he said with a grin and then his attention forced on their daughter. “Hi Princess! Daddy’s here!”
He scooped the child from her arms and held her high, then made some zooming sound affects as he lowered her to his face for a kiss. Ashley felt tears sting her eyes as she watched him with their daughter.
Through all her pain, all the years of abuse, the abandonment from almost everyone she ever loved in this instant she knew she would relive every second. Because in this moment, the man she loved was playing with their daughter. If all of that is what it cost to make her happy, she would never take back one second. And later that night as Alexandra slept and Sean held her tight against him, she knew she would be ok.
---
End
Note: I do not own “Once Upon A Time” and I do not make a profit from writing this story. I’m just amusing myself.
Authors Note: Look! I can write something other than Gold, Ruby and Archie! Also it is unbeta'd but it hc_bingo is ending and I had to post!
Setting: Storybrooke
Rating: PG
Warnings: Angsty musings
Prompts: trust issues (hc_bingo)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Word Count: 1,109
Cast: Ashley Boyd, Alexandra Boyd, Ruby, The Herman Family, The Boyd Family Mr. Gold
Summary: Ashley muses on her life and what it costs to be truly happy.
Though she was only 19, she felt much older, she never knew why. She knew people had an old adage about “old souls” but she didn’t think that was the case. With everything that had been thrown at her in her life, she felt like she had been aged well beyond her years. She looked into the mirror as she stepped out of the shower, wiping away the condensation with her hand; she saw her reflection studying her closely. She looked as young as ever, if not younger. According to half of Storybrooke, she looked like she was glowing since she had Alexandra. Instead of adding years, it took them away.
When she heard footsteps down the hall, she cracked the door open and saw Ruby wandering out of her room. Granny and Ruby took pity on her and allowed her to live in the Bed and Breakfast since she gave birth. The child needed a home and she was still not welcome at the Herman residence. Ashley wanted to pay for every day she lived under their roof, but they kindly refused. And in fact, Granny had been knitting blankets and clothes nonstop for Alexandra. Something that brought tears to her eyes every time she returned to her room to find a new outfit laid out on the bed.
She would immediately put it on her daughter and bring her to Granny, kissing the old woman on her cheek and praising her work. Granny would just laugh and insinuate that Alexandra was her Great-Great Granddaughter, since Ruby, for “putting out” as much as she did, refused to have children. Ruby would just laugh and coo at the baby affectionately.
Today when it happened, Ruby just grinned wickedly.
Her bright red lips were curved up in a dangerous smile, “Ok Gran, you want me to have a baby, I’m off to go find a donor. My date is a good candidate,” she said with a wink.
Granny frowned as Ruby stepped towards the door. “It’s not that mechanic, is it?” Ruby’s laughter echoed through the mostly empty Bed and Breakfast.
“No, it’s Mr. Gold,” she called and shut the door behind her before either woman could react.
Ashley felt like Ruby just slapped her in the face and Granny shuddered, “That girl needs help,” she said.
A sigh escaped Ashley’s lips as she looked to her surrogate Grandmother. “There’s no use, she’d probably sleep with her Shrink,” Ashley loved Ruby very much but the girl had a reputation and lived up to it. She should know, Ruby had told her about every hook up she ever had since they were young. Though she never mentioned her attraction to Mr. Gold, but she was probably trying to shield her from it.
Ashley understood why, Mr. Gold still made her uncomfortable. She felt guilty every time she saw the man, though he had assured her on more than one occasion that she had nothing to fear. Their deal was broken and he had other things to do with his time than seek revenge on a young mother and her child. But apparently that seemed to be her best friend, which felt like a knife in the back anyways. But if he made Ruby happy, Ashley would grin and bear it. It was because Ashley trusted so few people that to lose one…it would leave her alone.
Though Sean had come back, it was getting harder and harder to see him with him working all the time and his Father still trying to sway him. She told him it was ok, she understood though her heart was breaking each time he said good bye. Without Ruby and Gran, she had no family. She hadn’t considered her stepmother and sisters family since the day she left home at the tender age of 16. She lived in her car because it was better than being there with them.
Under the excuse of building character and deception of true compassion, their abuse was too much to handle. The constant stress of even being over the threshold of the front door made her sick. Their rage and vengeance was worse than hell. They broke her down every day until she wept herself to sleep. That’s why she had clung to Sean and winded up pregnant. She needed a rock in her life and when he left her, she felt like she would die. But as she felt Alexandra kick within her for the first time, it strengthened her. Then Sean’s Dad blindsided her with the contract from Mr. Gold. That crushed her spirit to the point she numbly signed away her child. Mr. Herman had pretended to care for her, pretended to like her and as soon as she became pregnant, his true colors appeared. Another blow within that would never heal. She would never trust him again.
Mr. Gold seemed very sympathetic to her plight; he really did want to help and seemed so concerned for her daughter. He told her that she needed to trust him that he would make sure her daughter had the life she could never give her. And she believed him, and at the second, a part of her still did.
Granny was studying her, adjusting Alexandra in her arms as she fussed. “Ashley, why don’t you head to bed, Sweetie. You look exhausted? Alexandra looks like she could use a bottle and a nice long cuddle with her Mother.”
Ashley numbly nodded and took her child into her arms, heading upstairs to her room. As she walked into her room, she found Sean waiting for her.
“Sean! When did you get here?” she demanded in surprise.
He looked sheepishly at her, “I snuck in when Ruby was leaving, I wanted to surprise you. I wanted to spend the night tonight, if that’s ok,” he said with a grin and then his attention forced on their daughter. “Hi Princess! Daddy’s here!”
He scooped the child from her arms and held her high, then made some zooming sound affects as he lowered her to his face for a kiss. Ashley felt tears sting her eyes as she watched him with their daughter.
Through all her pain, all the years of abuse, the abandonment from almost everyone she ever loved in this instant she knew she would relive every second. Because in this moment, the man she loved was playing with their daughter. If all of that is what it cost to make her happy, she would never take back one second. And later that night as Alexandra slept and Sean held her tight against him, she knew she would be ok.
---
End