Spring cleaning in summer
I am cleaning out my spare room. Also, my downstairs hall closet. Also, my studio closet. There is so much clutter in my life, so many things I've hung onto for too long.
The spare room is full of crap, and I want a cello. I need a practice room for my cello. The studio is just too full of other stuff like records and CDs and computers, and turntables and full-sized keyboards to accommodate space for stretching out and practicing with a cello, so I need a music room. This means all that crap in the spare room that was left there after the move and clearing out the guest bedroom has got. to. go.
I'm actually proud of myself for getting rid of things that I don't need. I am sometimes baffled at what I've hung onto. Other times, I wonder what to do with them. Like the wedding rings I found in a small, wooden box. I've been wearing the one he wore as a thumb ring today, and I kind of like reclaiming it in that way. I remember when I bought it, and how I chose the words to be engraved on the inside. I can't exactly remember all of what I felt back then, but i know that there was part of me that didn't want to marry him, but I did it anyway because I cared about him as a person. It took me years before I realized that there is a sensual part of me as well as an intellectual and emotional part of me, and I had to give both of them equal time.
There is so much to be cleared out. I am going through it, patiently and methodically. The space in the middle of the room is getting bigger, and I'm making decisions about what to give to Goodwill, and what just needs to be thrown away. I am resisting the urge to say "I will use this" and saying "no, you know you really won't, so it's time to give it up." I'm doing that.
Some of the things I've found have been discoveries I love - the CD of the soundtrack to Purple Rain. The copy of Jonny Greenwood's "Bodysong" soundtrack that I *knew* I had somewhere. *TWO* copies of OK Computer, in addition to the copy I already have downstairs (WTF? I know I like Radiohead, but really?). I wish I had a way of just putting all of this stuff I *don't* need in one place and having people come over and take what they want. I have so many books that I know I don't need anymore, but someone might like to read. All of my sewing stuff is there, and I'd like to actually make that long, blue-gray silk skirt. I know I will make some more of the sweaters, it's just an ongoing process. I have cross-stitch projects that need to be finished, like the flower sampler that is going to be amazing when it's finished (it's over halfway there already). I wonder where I'd hang up all my old, framed cross-stitch patterns.
But I am making progress. Steadily. I'm moving with great patience and tackling it a bit at a time. It will be finished at some point, and then I'll make some more trips to Goodwill, and rent that dumpster, and buy the bamboo plank flooring and refinish the floor and paint the walls some nice, soothing color. Then I'll go and rent my cello and start my lessons and learn how to finally play this instrument I'm in love with.
One step at a time, I'm getting there.
The spare room is full of crap, and I want a cello. I need a practice room for my cello. The studio is just too full of other stuff like records and CDs and computers, and turntables and full-sized keyboards to accommodate space for stretching out and practicing with a cello, so I need a music room. This means all that crap in the spare room that was left there after the move and clearing out the guest bedroom has got. to. go.
I'm actually proud of myself for getting rid of things that I don't need. I am sometimes baffled at what I've hung onto. Other times, I wonder what to do with them. Like the wedding rings I found in a small, wooden box. I've been wearing the one he wore as a thumb ring today, and I kind of like reclaiming it in that way. I remember when I bought it, and how I chose the words to be engraved on the inside. I can't exactly remember all of what I felt back then, but i know that there was part of me that didn't want to marry him, but I did it anyway because I cared about him as a person. It took me years before I realized that there is a sensual part of me as well as an intellectual and emotional part of me, and I had to give both of them equal time.
There is so much to be cleared out. I am going through it, patiently and methodically. The space in the middle of the room is getting bigger, and I'm making decisions about what to give to Goodwill, and what just needs to be thrown away. I am resisting the urge to say "I will use this" and saying "no, you know you really won't, so it's time to give it up." I'm doing that.
Some of the things I've found have been discoveries I love - the CD of the soundtrack to Purple Rain. The copy of Jonny Greenwood's "Bodysong" soundtrack that I *knew* I had somewhere. *TWO* copies of OK Computer, in addition to the copy I already have downstairs (WTF? I know I like Radiohead, but really?). I wish I had a way of just putting all of this stuff I *don't* need in one place and having people come over and take what they want. I have so many books that I know I don't need anymore, but someone might like to read. All of my sewing stuff is there, and I'd like to actually make that long, blue-gray silk skirt. I know I will make some more of the sweaters, it's just an ongoing process. I have cross-stitch projects that need to be finished, like the flower sampler that is going to be amazing when it's finished (it's over halfway there already). I wonder where I'd hang up all my old, framed cross-stitch patterns.
But I am making progress. Steadily. I'm moving with great patience and tackling it a bit at a time. It will be finished at some point, and then I'll make some more trips to Goodwill, and rent that dumpster, and buy the bamboo plank flooring and refinish the floor and paint the walls some nice, soothing color. Then I'll go and rent my cello and start my lessons and learn how to finally play this instrument I'm in love with.
One step at a time, I'm getting there.