Austin....Texas...traveling.
So, I'm in Austin.
I arrived last night, around 11pm. Flew into Houston, rented the car and drove to Austin. The drive was about twice as long as I'd planned (oh, those deceptively short-looking lengths on the map) but it was not stressful. Just long.
The stressful part was probably when I got to the rental lot and got my car, started driving. Houston looks like Dallas looks like west side of Oklahoma City....flat, highway, interchangeable shops and eateries. Flat. So flat. I realized I lived in this part of the country for over ten years (far too many) and if the horribleness that was my life crashing around me, I might have still been out here. This is the blessing I have been forgetting in what seems like a long curse. I realize I have way too much of a tendency to settle in, make do, and let long swathes of time pass without chafing too much. This is bad.
Being in this flat, open space, I felt naked, exposed, burned-out. The homeless people at the intersections, white people all browned out like tree trunks without moss, they made me feel scared at what this hot, dry, barren land can do to someone left out too long. It seemed as though they personified what this place can do to a soul. I was genuinely afraid for a while at that.
This is not the place I am meant to be, and as the sky grew dark, I began to relax. When I got nearer to Austin, the hills began to rise up and surround me; I found trees where I could hide. I relaxed a little.
I knew this was good for me when I started thinking of ways to back out of going - a sure sign I needed to go. So I'm here, and I'm damned glad I am.
It's strange to see my body not so rounded, I feel healthier. I'm looking at Sonic, wanting the limeade, seeing the Jack-in-the-Box, thinking of old, guilty pleasures, and realizing the thought of those greasy foods make me a little queasy. This is good - my body realizes what it needs, I'm truly settling in to being better to myself as a way of life.
There's so much junk food down here, I remember that - but I'm still looking forward to a pecan waffle. :P I'm glad I don't feel the urge for much else (maybe some good Mexican food, I'll have to ask around of the locals), and I want to explore, enjoy.
Looking forward to playing, listening, running sound (Ego's Wednesday and Friday), having a good time seeing people. Already I've run into a few people I hadn't seen in so long. Found the team right away - it's that red hair of Jme's - I can always spot that strawberry mop in a crowd. Usually he's near Simone, so then I fix on her, bad camper hugs and such and catching up. Saw Jon, and Eric and Bobby, really glad to see them here. Jon's so excited about life and his career, I'm glad to see him being somewhere he belongs and can feel good about what he's doing, using the gifts he's got in abundance and getting paid for it. There's something so energizing about being around people who work doing what they love.
When I get back, I'm going to reach out to people and make plans to get out and have people in more. These are things I've realized in just the little time I've been here. I'm home where I want to be, i just need to live in it. Really live. But that's for when I get home.
Yeah, it's going to be a good week. I'm so glad to be here.
I arrived last night, around 11pm. Flew into Houston, rented the car and drove to Austin. The drive was about twice as long as I'd planned (oh, those deceptively short-looking lengths on the map) but it was not stressful. Just long.
The stressful part was probably when I got to the rental lot and got my car, started driving. Houston looks like Dallas looks like west side of Oklahoma City....flat, highway, interchangeable shops and eateries. Flat. So flat. I realized I lived in this part of the country for over ten years (far too many) and if the horribleness that was my life crashing around me, I might have still been out here. This is the blessing I have been forgetting in what seems like a long curse. I realize I have way too much of a tendency to settle in, make do, and let long swathes of time pass without chafing too much. This is bad.
Being in this flat, open space, I felt naked, exposed, burned-out. The homeless people at the intersections, white people all browned out like tree trunks without moss, they made me feel scared at what this hot, dry, barren land can do to someone left out too long. It seemed as though they personified what this place can do to a soul. I was genuinely afraid for a while at that.
This is not the place I am meant to be, and as the sky grew dark, I began to relax. When I got nearer to Austin, the hills began to rise up and surround me; I found trees where I could hide. I relaxed a little.
I knew this was good for me when I started thinking of ways to back out of going - a sure sign I needed to go. So I'm here, and I'm damned glad I am.
It's strange to see my body not so rounded, I feel healthier. I'm looking at Sonic, wanting the limeade, seeing the Jack-in-the-Box, thinking of old, guilty pleasures, and realizing the thought of those greasy foods make me a little queasy. This is good - my body realizes what it needs, I'm truly settling in to being better to myself as a way of life.
There's so much junk food down here, I remember that - but I'm still looking forward to a pecan waffle. :P I'm glad I don't feel the urge for much else (maybe some good Mexican food, I'll have to ask around of the locals), and I want to explore, enjoy.
Looking forward to playing, listening, running sound (Ego's Wednesday and Friday), having a good time seeing people. Already I've run into a few people I hadn't seen in so long. Found the team right away - it's that red hair of Jme's - I can always spot that strawberry mop in a crowd. Usually he's near Simone, so then I fix on her, bad camper hugs and such and catching up. Saw Jon, and Eric and Bobby, really glad to see them here. Jon's so excited about life and his career, I'm glad to see him being somewhere he belongs and can feel good about what he's doing, using the gifts he's got in abundance and getting paid for it. There's something so energizing about being around people who work doing what they love.
When I get back, I'm going to reach out to people and make plans to get out and have people in more. These are things I've realized in just the little time I've been here. I'm home where I want to be, i just need to live in it. Really live. But that's for when I get home.
Yeah, it's going to be a good week. I'm so glad to be here.